Fallen
by magicmumu
Summary: When Ash hits her head one rainy afternoon, she wakes up thinking she is married to Scribbs. In caring for Ash, Scribbs learns more about her best friend... and herself. Femslash Ash/Scribbs, Rachel/Lucy mentions UPDATE! Chapter 29 and Epilogue up now!
1. Chapter 1

Fallen

by Erin Griffin

Fandom: Murder In Suburbia/Imagine Me And You crossover

Pairing: Ash/Scribbs, Rachel/Lucy

Rating: NC-17

Disclaimer: ITV owns these characters.

Summary: When Ash falls and hits her head one rainy afternoon, she wakes up without her recent memory. What she does remember leads her to believe she is married to Scribbs, so to help her get better, Scribbs has to care for Ash as her wife, which leads to many new revelations about her partner... and herself.

Warning: This story has heavy angst, mentions of murder (duh), rape, and other unpleasant things, which is why it will only be mentioned. There is also hurt/comfort, something I don't do that much if ever in fic, so we'll see how it all works out.

Chapter 1

Friday

*Slight crossover with Imagine Me and You in this chapter and possibly later in the story because I like that movie and the character(s) highlighted later on.

"So then he tells me that it's really not me, it's him, which we both know is total bollocks," Ash continued on as she had for the past half an hour. "I mean, I'm a detective for Christ's sake. Seeing through lies is my job."

"Mm-hm," Scribbs murmured in agreement as she had from the start, changing lanes as she did so.

"So, I went for a long walk after that, and when I got back, my flat was empty except for a note of apology next to our unopened bottle of champagne," Ash said. This got Scribbs' attention, and she looked to her left at her partner.

"That's the third 'long walk' this week, Ash. Is something wrong?"

"Well, to be honest, I'm feeling the itch to move again."

"I remember the last time you wanted to sell your flat. The term 'bimbo geisha whore' comes to mind," Scribbs replied, trying to sound sympathetic, but she was not sure if she made it or not.

Ignoring her partner's mention of that awkward time, Ash pointed ahead of them. "Here. That's Coin Street. Follow it to Bourbon."

"Thanks," Scribbs replied. Both women knew that the blonde would be able to get them back to the police station from there. "So, any particular area you're looking at for a new place to live?"

"I've looked, but like last time, none of them seemed to say to me, 'Kate, you're home now'. I'll find something."

"You aren't planning to move away from Middleford, are you?" Scribbs asked and Ash heard the hint of sadness that came with the question.

"No, nothing like that."

"Good, because no one gives me more rules to break than you do, Ash; I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'd actually have to do the paperwork for once," Ash replied, and Scribbs visibly shuddered.

"Oy, don't remind me," the blonde said, and then shared a grin with her partner. There was the usual comfort in their silence as they made it to the station's car park. Just as Ash held the door open for Scribbs and the blonde walked through, Scribbs' mobile phone went off.

"Make it quick and if Sullivan asks, I'll tell him it's your mum," Ash said.

"It really could be my mum," Scribbs argued, but Ash's look said she was less than convinced. "Could happen," Scribbs protested before she opened her phone. "Hello?"

She shot Ash a look, then looked down. The brunette saw a look of pleased surprise on her face. The voice on the other end was indistinct, but Ash could tell that it was a man calling, something that didn't surprise Ash in the least. "I'm at work, so this has gotta be quick. Yeah. Really? Yeah, what time? Uh huh. Great, see you then... Bye." Scribbs closed the mobile phone and began walking to her desk with Ash in tow.

"So?" Ash wondered as she sat at her desk chair and booted up her computer, ignoring the vase of flowers next to the mouse pad. She knew who they were from and roughly what the accompanying card said. She didn't need to read it again. Not this time.

"That was Dunn. He asked me on a date."

"Dunn? I thought you chucked him over a month ago," Ash said cautiously.

"Yeah, I did, but I ran into him over the weekend and we talked over coffee. He said he was sorry. It was sweet of him."

"It took him a month to say he was sorry?"

"I know what you're going to say, Ash. 'Rule number I've stopped counting: If a man takes more than a week to apologize for anything, he's most likely forgotten what he was supposed to be apologizing for'."

"That was exactly what I was going to say, Scribbs, though it could've done without the Anne Robinson impersonation."

"Well, he's taking me to that French restaurant we are always talking about going to but it takes forever to get a reservation."

Ash raised her eyebrow in disbelief.

"Yeah, we're going there tonight, so I have no choice but to forgive him. He's been planning this for the last month, you know. Jealous much?" Scribbs said.

"Tonight?" Ash asked, ignoring the teasing comment.

"Yeah," Scribbs replied slowly as if to ask what the significance of 'tonight' was.

"We were going to go for drinks after work today. _We_ planned this since last Monday." At Scribbs' look Ash added, "Don't tell me that you forgot."

"Erm... Okay, I won't?" the blonde said with a tilt at the end, making it into a sentence rather than a statement, something else that often irked Ash about people.

"Scribbs!" Ash protested.

"I'm sorry! He said he'd got the reservation, and he was so sweet about it... If you want, I'll call him back and cancel."

"You can't," Ash said with a sigh, "because you just said yes. It'd be rude and he'd think something fishy. We can go some other time." Ash looked at her watch, then back at Scribbs. "We can take lunch now, I suppose. I'll be back in a bit."

"You aren't angry with me?" Scribbs asked. She didn't like how absent that last sentence had been.

"Disappointed, but not angry," Ash admitted. She stood up and stretched, even though she had just gotten to her desk. She turned the monitor of her computer off and gave Scribbs a partial wave. "Enjoy," she said, and walked down the hallway. Scribbs watched after her colleague with a thoughtful frown as behind her a door was heard opening and closing.

"Alright Scribbs?" Sullivan asked.

"I can't tell if she's lying and she's mad at me, or if she's truly disappointed. I don't know if I should catch up to her and apologize again or leave her be."

"What happened, if you don't mind me asking?" Sullivan didn't need clarification on who 'she' and 'her' were.

"Made a date tonight and forgot that Ash and I already had plans. She says to go with Dunn tonight, but she's taking this a little bit hard. But then... Oh! Mitch!"

"Sorry?" Sullivan asked. He'd been following along up until that point, but Scribbs always had a way of getting him confused.

"Ash just went through a break up, Boss, but you don't know that, okay?"

"Know what?"

"That-" Scribbs stopped talking when she saw the look on Sullivan's face. "Er- right."

"Scribbs, perhaps a compromise is in order. If this man- Dunn- was to take you out to dinner, then that leaves you with a few hours in between. You could leave an hour early, say three or so, but that is something else I don't know about. You could grab a drink or two with Ash and be home in time to do... whatever it is you women do to get ready for a date. Or maybe you could invite her over for some tea and she could help you get ready; seems like she just needs your company right now."

"Thanks Boss."

"For what?" The look of innocence was back, and Scribbs grinned.

"Oh nothing," she replied.

Just as Scribbs was about to go find Ash or at least ring her mobile, Sullivan said, "Be careful with her, Scribbs." His tone was completely serious, and there was a touch of concern on his face. Scribbs studied him for a moment, which caused the tall man to touch his tie in his nervousness.

"Boss," Scribbs asked, "is there something you're not telling me?" Sullivan cleared his throat, but said nothing more. Another DS walked by and Sullivan directed his attention at him. Scribbs felt confused and walked towards Ash's chair. She'd forgotten her jacket, and it looked like rain. The streets and pavements were already wet from the morning's almost nonstop drizzle.

Somehow Scribbs knew something else was going on, mostly because of Sullivan's confirming behavior. Did he know, or just suspect what it was that was wrong with Ash? Thinking back, Scribbs remembered the first couple of years she'd known Ash, and how she would stiffen up at this time of year. It was a barrier that not even Scribbs could get through. It wasn't long though until Scribbs had asked if Ash needed a drink to ease the tension and the brunette had reluctantly agreed. That one drink, which had started their ability to bond after work, had also started what Scribbs now realized also started what had become their tradition of sorts.

Scribbs tried to remember: Did they always go out to drinks on the same day each year? Was it an anniversary of some sort? Back then, Ash had been snappy with her at about the same time of year and Sullivan had said to be careful with Ash then, too, when she'd complained to him. Scribbs wondered about this as she slipped into her own jacket, hoping she'd soon find Ash and get to the bottom of it all.

As the air got a little thicker with moisture and more clouds rolled overhead, Ash began to long for her jacket, but, after an exit like that, she couldn't go back to the station. She'd look foolish. She continued on her walk, deciding to go in a general circle of the station so that if it did decide to rain, she wouldn't be too far away and get completely soaked through. Ash had to appreciate the weather, though. It always seemed that much greener in Middleford on the days it rained, as if the grass and trees showed emotion and smiled at the feel of the water.

Ash's pace slowed only slightly when she started to hear the children in the yard playing football. Right away, she thought of _her_. How old would she be now? Fifteen? Would she still look so much like her father? Right then, the football came crashing into the fence, startling Ash.

A little girl who seemed to be in charge of the group came running for the white and black ball. As she picked up the ball, she studied Ash, and Ash studied the girl in turn. The child had blonde hair to the tips of the shoulders, though it was shorter and darker than Scribbs'. She looked no older then maybe twelve, and her uniform was muddy at the hem of the skirt from where the ball had hit her. There was almost no color to her left calf, as mud covered it.

Studying Ash, she said, "You're very pretty."

"Thank you. So are you." A little dirty maybe, but Ash wasn't lying when she said that to the girl.

"Are you an actress?"

"I'm a police officer," Ash replied.

"Where's your uniform, then?"

"This is my uniform... of sorts," Ash told the girl, who looked as if she was considering this.

"Name's H."

"H?"

"Yeah, short for Henrietta, but who wants to be called Henrietta? Besides, I'm called that because my mum screamed Jesus H. Christ when she found out she was about to have me," the girl explained.

"Henrietta is a pretty name."

"Yeah, but I like being just H. What is your name?"

"Kate. Kate Ashurst, but my friends call me Ash."

"Because who wants to be called Kate?!" H said, and Ash couldn't help the laugh that came.

"I suppose."

"Hey, you're a police officer, so maybe you might know the answer to my question. Ready?"

"Okay, I think so."

"If you tried to fail and succeeded, then what?" H looked at Ash expectantly as she waited for Ash to answer.

"Then I'd say congratulations because you've stumped me."

"That question has stumped me, too."

"H!! Get the ball!" called a dark boy from the other side of the field. H turned to him.

"I'm coming!" H turned to look at Kate for a second. "It was nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too, H. Have fun with your game."

"Bye."

"Bye." H ran off to join her friends. One of the boys stole the ball from her and she ran after him. Ash smiled before she started to walk on, making her way back toward the station for her jacket and a cup of tea. No matter how melancholic she may have felt, she still had her job to do. She walked close to a block before she felt the large droplets of rain on her head. She began to run as the water slid down her neck and inside her collar. Just as she got to the top of the station's back steps, Ash's foot twisted and she fell back down the steps and hit her head on the way. She heard the rain hitting the pavement all around her before it went black.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Tuesday

*Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling, Scholastic and Warner Brothers I believe. I am just referencing it because it makes me happy.

The afternoon nurse didn't look up from her paperwork as Scribbs walked by her. Even if she had, most likely she would have given a nod or even said a quick hello to her as she had the day before. Down the hall Scribbs went, holding the paperback book in her armpit and the vase of flowers she'd gotten from the shop a few blocks away taking space in both of her hands. Scribbs smiled to herself as she thought about the owner of the small shop, a beautiful young woman with eyes that held you in their thrall; her girlfriend had called her Luce as she'd popped her head around the door to blow a kiss. She liked the small shop because of the atmosphere there. It was a fairly new shop, and had once been the small coffee shop she'd gone to in order to escape Sullivan's replacement from Hell a couple of years ago. Scribbs wasn't sure what had originally drawn her to the shop, the rainbow flag or the friendly looking woman- Luce's girlfriend, who stood outside rearranging the flowers with so much love and care, but she was glad she'd gone in, and now she was sure she was their biggest customer as of late.

No matter how deep in thought she often got herself, Scribbs could find Ash's room with her eyes closed, which was almost the case with the flowers blinding her a bit. She cradled the vase with her right hand as she tried to get the door knob turned. In the corner of her eyes, she saw a large hand grab the door knob and open the door for her. "There you are," a deep voice said, which caused the blonde to twist her upper body to get a glimpse of her helper. He was tall and slightly tanned. He looked as if he kept himself in enough shape, though Scribbs saw the start of a belly on him. Still, she found him attractive.

"Thank you," she said with a smile before going through the door and placing the vase next to another one on the windowsill. She took the flowers she'd gotten for Ash on Saturday and added them to these newer ones, hoping it would make them look nice for a little bit longer. "Hey Ash, let's get some light in here, yeah?" she said in a murmur while she pulled at the blinds. "I heard your roommate Sharon woke up last night. You should, too." As usual, only the beeping answered her. "Alright then, what chapter was I on? Something about a Remembrall and the flying and Hermione getting all... well, like you..." Scribbs paused. "Oh quit it! Your poems put me to sleep, so we're reading Harry Potter. If you hate it so much, you can wake up and tell me off."

Nothing.

"Thought so," Scribbs said, trying not to sound disappointed even though she knew no one could hear it. She opened the paperback book and murmured, "Let's see... 'HARRY POTTER!' Harry's heart sank faster than he'd just dived.'... "

Scribbs read on for a while as Harry and Ron saved Hermione from a troll in the bathroom. She didn't pay attention to the woman who had come in to check Ash's vital signs and kept on reading until there was a knock on Ash's door. Scribbs stood up and stretched until her back cracked. She walked to the door, opened it and saw a man with short curly hair, dark, and hazel eyes. He smiled at Scribbs before looking behind her at Ash. "This Katie's room?"

"I'm sure she wouldn't like being called Katie, but yes, this is Kate's room." Scribbs stepped back and only then did she notice the tall thin woman of about sixty enter the room behind him. There was no need to ask who this woman was, for other than the grey speckled dark brown hair, this woman looked like her brunette partner.

"Hello, I'm David Ashurst, and this is my mother, June Ashurst." The man extended his hand to Scribbs, and she took it. Ash's brother was cute, but she felt nothing toward him. Still, Scribbs understood why Ash wouldn't have wanted Scribbs to meet him, but it'd hurt at the time.

"Emma Scribbins. Nice to finally meet you. I'm Ash's partner," Scribbs said, shaking both David and June's hand in turn.

"Nice to meet you, too. We've heard a lot about you." June said, which pleased Scribbs.

"Any signs of her waking up, you reckon?" David asked.

"Dunno," Scribbs replied. She put the Harry Potter book on the window sill next to the flowers and said, "I'll let you have some time alone with her."

"Don't let us turn you out, Emma," June said, touching her arm.

"I think there's a rule about only two people in a room at a time. Besides, I need a spot of coffee." Scribbs smiled politely, then walked to Ash's side and whispered, "What's so good in there, Ash? Why can't you find it out here? Your mum and brother are here for you, Sullivan, me... Please wake up." When she stood again, she leaned, being mindful of the sprained right hand, and kissed Ash's forehead as she had done everyday before she left. Scribbs awkwardly nodded to David on her way out, and then made her way to the canteen. She smiled at the elderly woman in a wheel chair when she was on the lift going back up a few minutes later. She didn't know why, but she had a soft spot for the elderly, especially after visiting Birch Grove and befriending Laura. Scribbs found a seat out in the waiting room and picked up the outdated health magazine. She flipped through for a few minutes until her mind began to wander.

Friday had been a hectic day to say the least. Scribbs had looked for Ash, but hadn't found her. She was about to go east towards Middleford's parks, but had gotten a call from Sullivan saying that Ash had fallen down some stairs. Scribbs had been so scared that she'd forgotten all about Dunn, until he had called from the restaurant wondering where she was. Luckily, he'd forgiven her and they'd made plans for later in the week. Knowing that Ash had yet to wake up from her coma, Scribbs wasn't so sure if she'd be able to keep those plans, either. Ash was her best friend and came before an ex boyfriend any day, and because she wasn't there when Ash needed her on Friday, she was going to be there for Ash now, no matter how long she slept.

"Scribbs," the blonde woman jerked when a hand touched her shoulder, even if she recognized the voice the hand belonged to.

"Boss?"

"I came by to see how she was doing."

"No change yet as far as her brain activity, but her external wounds are healing well; the ankle is doing a lot better. Swelling's been down. The hand will need a few more days at least. 'Er mum and brother are with her now," Scribbs told him. Sullivan nodded.

"I'll go put these in her room," Sullivan said, slightly waving the small bunch of white flowers he'd been holding in his other hand. Scribbs couldn't help but notice that the flowers she'd gotten were better. She nodded and watched as her boss walked down the hall to Ash's room, and he stood in the doorway. Scribbs watched him extend his hand to shake hands. She let the murmur of the voices fade as she read an article about proper dieting. She didn't know how long she read, about ten minutes or so, before she heard quick footsteps and looked up in time to see Sullivan walking towards her at an alarming rate. "Come with me, Scribbs. There's something I need to tell you."

"Is everything alright? Is Ash okay?"

"Let's go outside," was all he said, which had Scribbs' mind reeling. Her spine went cold as she fought off fears of Ash's passing. That couldn't be. She'd just told Sullivan how well Ash was doing. Scribbs hurried outside with the broad man and followed him towards where the gardens were.

"Please," Scribbs pleaded, "tell me what's happened, that Ash is alright."

"She seems fine. She's awake-"

"Then why are we out here? I want to go see her."

"It's erm- a bit more complicated than that, Scribbs. I need to tell you somewhat of a story first, okay, so please..."

"Okay."

"You need to know that before you were employed with us, Ash and I were partnered together. I was a DI and she was my DS."

"I never would've guessed," Scribbs said. She didn't try to hold back her surprise.

"I'm not sure why, but she didn't want to tell you. It wasn't a big deal. We weren't really that close for the longest time. See, she'd been down for as long as I'd known her. She was pretty closed off, and never really talked to me about anything. Then, there was an inquiry we'd gone on, and a female suspect hit on her. She had a bit of an issue with that during the work day, and had confided in me that she's erm... gay. I told her that if she needed a cover, she could pretend to fancy me so that no one would suspect, and after that we became somewhat friends, or at least I'd like to think so. We were a pretty good team at least. Not as good as you and Ash, but pretty good, until we solved a big case and got promoted. We had to agree to not be so close anymore to avoid any problems in the workplace, as our last DCI played favorites and was obvious about it. When she was partnered up with you, it was easy to see that she fancied you right away." Sullivan watched the blonde DS closely to see if she was okay with the information so far, as he knew it was only the beginning to what he had to tell her.

Scribbs stood still. She didn't know how she felt about the news that Ash was gay. After all of the men they both had gone through over the years? It would never be a problem to Scribbs that Ash was a lesbian, or even that she'd had feelings for Scribbs all this time. What bothered her most was that she hadn't been able to tell Scribbs. She thought she'd known Ash better than anyone, and hell, maybe she had, but this? This was too big for Scribbs to not know about or even have an inkling on. She wondered what Ash must have felt all that time, keeping it in like that. Thinking back though, a lot of things made sense, like her 'bad boys' rule for one, and the almost predatory stance she sometimes took if another guy flirted with Scribbs in Ash's presence. Scribbs would be the first to admit that her gaydar was something to be desired: after all, she didn't need it much. But this, this wasn't about her gaydar or lack thereof, this was about the connection she'd had with her friend, or perhaps the lack of that too.

Scribbs finally looked up and caught Sullivan's eye, holding it for a split second until he looked away. "What does Ash's sexuality have to do with her being awake now? What is going on?"

"Er- Well..." Sullivan trailed off and put his hands directly to his sides. Under any other circumstance, Scribbs would have laughed at how fidgety he was getting, but the longer he stalled, the more Scribbs got scared and impatient. "Well," he said again, "I think that- erm- Ash has lost a lot of her recent memory, and Ash has been in love with you for six years. If that is one of the few things she does remember, it would explain why she's demanding to see her wife, Emma. Er- You."

"WOT?!"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Scribbs, I can understand why Ash would believe you're a married couple. I've seen the two of you talk, and you banter as if you've been together for years. I've heard you argue over something trivial and not get a full sentence out because you already know what the other is about to say." Sullivan saw Scribbs shrug before he continued to speak. He knew that Scribbs saw no significance of those things, but anyone else would say otherwise. "The doctor was in briefly and he says that it should be a temporary memory loss, but it's not certain."

"What else doesn't she remember?"

"I don't know exactly. She won't cooperate with anyone until she sees you. If she thinks you're her wife, then at least the last six years are pretty much gone," Sullivan said.

"So I go talk to her and calm her down, but how'm I going to tell her that we aren't married?" Scribbs wondered, looking up at Sullivan.

"I think you should go along with it for a couple of days while she's still in here, and you could continue talking to her. Try to incorporate things into the conversation to see if she'll remember anything."

"When she does remember, she'll hate me for pulling her along."

"Maybe, but she'll soon realize that you were trying to help her get better. Anyone at the station would do the same in your position."

"How would you feel if you woke up from a coma, your wife is gone, but when she comes back, she cares for you for days, weeks- months even, only to realize she was never your wife?"

"I'd be hurt, I suppose, but like I mentioned, I'd know she was helping me, and after an awkward few days, I'd be grateful to her."

"Except you weren't in love with your savior for six years prior to your accident," argued the blonde.

"Well, you've got me there, Scribbs."

"I'm going to talk to her now, but I'll have to find another way," Scribbs told the tall man firmly.

"Fair enough," Sullivan replied as he took a couple of steps towards the doors leading inside. Scribbs trotted after him for a couple of steps, and then walked at his side once she'd caught up with him. They had just passed the waiting room area when Sullivan slowed down. "Keep your left hand in your pocket."

"While the other hand's playing the piano?" Scribbs asked. At Sullivan's blank look, she said, "Okay, not an Alanis fan, eh Boss?"

"Can't say that I am, but I'm serious about the left hand, Scribbs. I don't know how she'd react to your lack of wedding ring, and we both know she _will_ notice it."

"Yeah, I know. Good advice." The two detectives stood in silence before Sullivan spoke again.

"You'd never guess what Ash said first thing when she woke up."

"Lemme guess: 'I need to speak to my wife so I can tell her off for reading me Harry Potter'?" Scribbs guessed.

"Close. She said, 'Ten points from Slytherin, both of you'," Sullivan replied with a grin. Scribbs also smiled, but then she got nervous. She took in a deep breath and slowly slid her left hand into the pockets of her trousers while her right hand gripped the door handle.

As Scribbs stepped into the room, she heard Ash's voice, "No- Mum, I'm fine. I just want to see Emma." Ash had obvious annoyance in her voice as she struggled to sit up. She shook her good hand (which had been held by her mother) free and raked it through her unruly hair. She winced, and her mother spoke up.

"Come on Kate-"

"Emma!" David said loudly, which got both Ashurst women's attention, "We've been looking for you."

"I'm sorry, I was in the canteen," Scribbs told Ash for lack of anything better to say. She glanced at both Ashurst women before she walked to Ash's side. Ash right away reached for her.

"No, I'm the one who should be sorry, for the fight and now this." Scribbs wondered just what argument Ash was recalling.

"That doesn't matter now. I'm just glad you're alright."

"Emma, I don't remember, but… when we fought, I think I took off my ring."

"Is that what's really bothering you?" Scribbs asked, and it earned her a nod. "No… Darling," Scribbs said, adding in the endearment almost too late, "your ring was found right next to you. It must have fallen off when you fell. It's at home under your pillow so I could reach for it and remind myself that you'd be home soon." The blonde hoped Ash couldn't see right through her lies. She hated the fact that she had to in order to supposedly help her, or at least she hoped it would help her. Ash sighed with relief and brought Scribbs in closer to her. She rested her forehead in the crook of the blonde's neck, and Scribbs felt Ash's breath on her collarbone.

"I just woke up, but I'm exhausted," Ash said, "And I have the biggest headache."

Scribbs had her right arm wrapped around Ash a little awkwardly, as her left hand was still in her pocket. She rubbed her friend's back and said softly, "No falling asleep on me."

"I'll try not to. I just want you near."

"I'm here, Ash," Scribbs told her, then panicked slightly when the woman in her arms stiffened.

"You haven't called me Ash since we started dating."

"I-" Scribbs had to think quickly. "I'm sure I do at work. I'm still your partner there. Besides, I wasn't sure if it was appropriate in front of company. Sullivan is here, and he's only heard me call you Ash, even when we first met and you specifically told me not to."

"Had you been anyone else-"

"Excuse me, but only two visitors in the room at a time please," a young nurse informed them, right before she looked further into the room and saw Ash sitting up. "I see the patient is awake. I'll go inform her doctor."

"There's no need. Dr. Pellow's already been informed," Sullivan, earning himself a smile.

"Alright then, but I will need at least two of you to please step out. Rules see." Sullivan nodded.

"You going to behave for the good doctor?" Scribbs asked as she heard footsteps, most likely Sullivan's fade out of the room.

"I promise." The room was quiet for another moment before there was a knock at the door. The man now standing in the doorway had pure white hair, though he didn't look older than fifty. Standing at almost six feet, he took up most of the doorway, but he wasn't intimidating, as he had a genuinely calm smile, a rarity in his profession. He waited for a reply to his knock, and then stepped in as David nodded and followed Sullivan to the waiting room.

"Hello again, Miss Ashurst. Are you feeling any better this time around?" he asked.

Blushing, Ash replied softly, "Yes, and I'm sorry for making a scene before." The doctor didn't seem too concerned with Ash's earlier behavior, and his smile remained as he stepped closer to his patient.

"I understand. Its scary waking up to the unfamiliar. Needing the comfort of your spouse is normal and often necessary. Speaking of which," he said, shifting his gaze from Ash to Scribbs. "You must be Emma, Kate's, er- wife?"

"Y-Yes," Scribbs said.

"I need to speak with Miss Ashurst for a few minutes alone, and then I'll have a chat with you separately," Dr. Pellow told her, and earned nods from both Scribbs and June.

"I'll be back in a bit," Scribbs told the brunette, who didn't try to hide the fact that she didn't want Scribbs to leave. "I'll be right down the hall if you need anything." Scribbs left another kiss on the top of Ash's head, and she seemed less reluctant to let her go. She followed behind June, who blew a kiss to her daughter before she led the way out of the room.

Once back in the waiting area, David and Sullivan rejoined the women; the four stood in somewhat of a circle until June said, "Perhaps I should go. Kate's had a lot of excitement today. I'll be by tomorrow," From the look on her face, it appeared as though she wasn't as pleased to meet Scribbs as she'd previously stated. She gave both detectives a small polite smile before she left, touching David's shoulder on her way. David looked after his mother before looking to Scribbs, giving her a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry. Everything will settle down and get better," he said. "If you need anything, here's my card." Being closer to him, Sullivan took the card and stared at it. He looked up then and nodded. David walked after the older Ashurst woman throwing, "Take care of Katie, yeah?" over his shoulder.

Scribbs and Sullivan watched him leave before the blonde DS went to the nearest chair and sat down. Sullivan followed suit, sitting in a chair that was near her with one empty seat between them to respect personal boundaries. "I've never been anyone's wife before," was all Scribbs said at first.

"It can't be so bad, can it?"

"How would either of us know?" Scribbs asked, giving Sullivan a sideways glance.

"Good point."

"I don't know how to be a wife to anybody. Hell, I can't even be a girlfriend at this rate."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Scribbs," Sullivan said with a serious edge to his voice.

"I'll have to take care of Ash, and I'm not good with domestic stuff. I can't cook, I barely clean, and Ash would want that- that normalcy that I can't give her, even if it is just pretend for a few days. Besides Boss, where're we going to live and how are we going to manage our finances if Ash is in this condition? Ash is going to see through this-"

Sullivan cut Scribbs off before she could go on much longer, as he could see that she was in a panic now.

"She won't if you make it convincing enough."

"That means even more lies, and I can't do that. How could I keep up this façade for long with Ash knowing me as well as she does? She'll know when I'm lying."

"Don't quote me on this, Scribbs, but I'd guess that a lot of what she 'remembers' of you is fantasy, so I believe she's wanted these things for so long that she'll believe they've happened if, as I said, you remain convincing."

"That's still misleading and that's still lying to her," Scribbs argued.

"I know," Sullivan said.

It was quiet between them until Scribbs asked, "What'm I gonna do? There are no pictures of us together, no wedding photos, no marriage certificate, no rings- nothing!"

"Scribbs, calm down," Sullivan told the blonde, twisting in his chair in order to see her face to face. He placed a hand on her shoulder. When Scribbs looked at him, he removed his hand quickly and sighed. "I will do whatever it will take to help and to make the best of this situation. You are not alone in this. Pictures can be manipulated on the computer, I believe, and I can find you a set of rings. These things can be made or found or bought. We will find a way to make this work."

"Thanks. That actually helps a lot." Scribbs began to calm a little bit but not by much.

"As I recall, there is a picture of you two. Granted, you're in the background, but you're still together. The manipulations should take care of everything else."

"Really? When were we photographed?"

"You're in a picture from last year's Christmas party. You stayed together pretty much the whole time, so I got you in a shot as well."

"Oh yeah. We were trying to stay away from the mistletoe."

"Right, well, we could enhance the bit with you in it and make it look like you had a nice Christmas together."

"Wow, it's amazing what the geeks can do."

"Those geeks probably make more than you do."

"I know, and that makes me sad," Scribbs said with a somewhat wistful sigh.

It became quiet again between them and after a moment of watching Sullivan fidget, Scribbs handed him the very same health magazine she had looked at before receiving news of Ash's condition, and then reached for the parenting magazine for herself. She would have grabbed for the children's coloring book instead, but Sullivan was there, and there was nothing to use to color with in sight. "Here," she said, "I recommend the article on men's dieting for you to read."

"Are you saying I need to lose weight Scribbs?" the broad man asked with an eyebrow raised.

"I'm saying you need to stop jumpin' about like you're expecting a baby."

Sullivan opened the magazine and said nonchalantly, "Says the woman whose wife just woke up, sitting there reading an article about cheap diapers." Scribbs gave him a dirty look, but he didn't see it. Instead, he sat back in his chair, bringing his right foot to rest on his left knee as he flipped easily to the article Scribbs pointed out. There was, however, the faintest of smirks on his face as he did so.

About ten minutes later, Dr. Pellow exited Ash's room, closing the door quietly behind him. He spotted Scribbs right away and headed in her direction, sitting in a chair across from both her and Sullivan. He looked at his chart, flipping between the front page and the page beneath it. "Well," he began, "Miss Ashurst seems okay physically. She's healing well. Some of the information I've just gathered however, doesn't match her previous history, so I will need you to verify a few things the best you can. I was hoping her mother would still be here, but if she comes by again, I can speak with her as well. It is so hard to tell just what is true considering your line of work."

Scribbs nodded. "Sure," she said easily.

"As you know, Miss Ashurst believes that you are married, and when I asked her where she lived, she gave me a different address than what I have." Dr. Pellow covered most of the clipboard before he flipped it to show Scribbs. She nodded again as she recognized the set of numbers and letters right away.

"That is my current address," Scribbs confirmed.

"MM…kay," Dr. Pellow said slowly, making a note on the bottom page. "And does Birch Grove sound familiar to you?"

"Yes, we had a case there."

"She said that you started dating 'after Birch Grove'. She seems to fully remember names and faces, but when I asked her some things about work relationships, the story got a bit fuzzy for her. Who's Sullivan?" Dr. Pellow wondered. The man at Scribbs' right raised his hand a little bit as if to answer a question in class.

"That's me."

"And… Scribbs?"

"Me," the blonde said right away. "My last name's Scribbins, so that is my nickname."

"David's the brother and emergency contact, and then there's the mother…" Dr. Pellow clicked his tongue as he thought. "Okay, who's DCI Kingsley?"

At this, Scribbs frowned in thought. 'Now, I know that name,' the blonde thought. After a moment of coming up blank, Scribbs shrugged and looked to Sullivan for help. He looked down at his hands as he answered. "He was the DCI before me. If you need more information on him, Doctor, you can speak to me privately some other time." Scribbs' stare remained on her boss, but he said nothing more, so she shifted her attention back to the older gentleman in front of her.

"I will," the good doctor said. He then asked a few more questions, most of which Scribbs could answer, as they pertained to the last three or so years. Others had to be answered by Sullivan, mostly because they were cases from when they were partnered together. "From what I can understand, Miss Ashurst remembers everything from about 2001 and before perfectly, but her memory seems scattered from then to the present. She knows who you are, but she is still confused on some facts about you, Mr. Sullivan. She at first thought you were a Detective Inspector, then later a Chief Inspector. I think she was already beginning to remember a little more during the time we spoke." To Scribbs, he said, "Looks like she remembers how you met as well as a couple of dates, but she doesn't seem to remember the actual wedding or anything like that. From what I can tell… Well, maybe these other memories are really her daydreams."

"Yes, that would make sense," Scribbs replied with a head shake.

"She does seem distraught when you're not there though."

"Sullivan and I were talking, and he thinks that I should play the role of her wife until her memory comes back," Scribbs said. Dr. Pellow set his clipboard on his lap and folded his hands together on top of it. He sighed deeply as he seemed to think this over.

"Well, I can see the benefit of that, but I can also see where things could go wrong. Though most people with amnesia often regain their memories over time, some things just don't come back. It takes a lot of dedication to the patient to get their memories back, or at least get their lives back to what it once was before their trauma. If you parade as her wife, it may jeopardize her progress." Scribbs turned to Sullivan and gave him an 'I told you so' sort of look, but he only responded with a look of his own.

"But what about the short term, Doctor? You said yourself that she's distraught when Scribbs isn't there. If we can't get to her now, surely there would be no progress at all to speak of." Turning to look at the blonde he said, "Scribbs, you've already told her that you are her wife-"

"Because you said-"

"-so it'd be bad if you went back on it now." Sullivan went on as if Scribbs hadn't broken in at all.

"As I said, that's your call. You can get into some sort of married routine until her memories come back at the risk of them never returning, or you can break it to her gently that you aren't married but you are there for her as her friend and colleague. I'd reckon that whichever way you decide, Miss Ashurst will get hurt, and I don't know which would be worse for her."

"Damn it," Scribbs muttered. She knew that no matter what, somewhere down the line she'd come out the bad guy. She leaned forward and put her head in her hands to stop herself from panicking again. "I do want her to get better. That is the important thing," her muffled voice said.

"Yes," Sullivan agreed, "that is the important thing."

"I've scheduled Miss Ashurst for a CT scan to make sure everything's alright. That'll be at 7:30 tomorrow morning. If everything looks good, she'll be free to go home, wherever you decide that is. Whatever your decision, I'd advise you make it quickly, and believe me when I say that whichever you choose, Miss Scribbins, it'll not reflect badly upon you. You're simply doing what you feel is right for her." Dr. Pellow stood up then, and took both Scribbs and Sullivan's hands. "Talk to her mother and brother. Find some pictures from the last eight or so years to see if that jumpstarts her memory- and keep me updated if anything stirs."

"Thank you, Doctor."

"No need. Good luck with everything."

Once the good doctor was out of sight, Scribbs sighed. "Well, I guess I'd better go tend to my wife, eh?" she asked. Sullivan's smile was encouraging, but she didn't want to see it at the moment. The two of them stood at the same time and were once again silent. Then Sullivan did the unexpected and gave Scribbs a quick but awkward hug.

"I'll- erm- go do some research at the office. You know, pull up case files, especially about Birch Grove. We'll figure this out. Together, you know?"

"Yeah, thank you for that." Scribbs replied.

"Will you be in tomorrow? You can take the day off if you want."

"No, I'll be in, though I may leave early to visit Ash."

"You got it," Sullivan said, and then walked out the same way David and June Ashurst had almost twenty minutes previous. Scribbs watched him go, and then walked in the opposite direction towards Ash's room once more.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Ash's smile was instant when she saw Scribbs come into the room. "So what did you discuss?" she asked, accepting Scribbs' hand as soon as the blonde sat in a chair beside her bed.

"You know what was discussed. You'll be coming home soon if your scan tomorrow proves you are able to. We've got to get you back into your routines and hope your memories come back. I know you must be sick of them, but I'm also supposed to ask you questions to see what you remember, and what you might not."

"I remember that I love you," Ash said. "Even before I woke up, I knew that much." The left corner of Scribbs' mouth lifted in a small smile.

"Do you remember what it was like in there?"

"Yeah, I remember a dream. I was in a large field, and I was watching two girls, H and another boyish redheaded girl-"

"H?"

"For Henrietta, I believe. I met her right before the fall, and she gave me a riddle," Ash answered. Scribbs made a mental note to herself. She wasn't sure if that was something that really happened on Ash's walk, or if, like the marriage, it was just something she drew conclusions from.

"So these girls were in your dream."

"They were kicking a football about, and there were people on broomsticks above us throwing footballs at each other. Then I was suddenly in an old classroom yelling at a little blonde prat because he turned someone's toad into paper and wrote all over it. The poor boy was crying so hard. Then... I heard your voice, and I tried to follow it but I couldn't find you. I realized I'd been in this place and I was content, but you weren't there. I knew that I would never be more than that with you gone. I heard you ask me to wake up, and then I heard beeping, then my mother's voice talking to David. The next thing I know, I see my brother." Ash squeezed Scribbs' hand. "And I got scared. At first, I thought I'd left one place without you in it only to enter another, as if my mind was playing a cruel trick on me."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there when you woke up, A-Kate," Scribbs said, quickly correcting herself. She saw the look on Ash's face, the fear and vulnerability that Scribbs hadn't quite seen before. She realized that, as her wife, Ash trusted her with these emotions; emotions that as her friend, she only saw the surface of. Scribbs knew that Ash needed someone like that during this time if she were to fully recover from the fall. Ash needed her wife, and Scribbs mentally stepped up to take on that role, wishing that Ash had always trusted her in that way, as she had trusted Ash.

'One thing's for certain,' Scribbs thought to herself, 'if I'm to be her wife, I'll have to be convincing while at the same time lie as little as possible.' She really didn't like lying to Ash, whether or not the brunette would see through it. What few lies she'd already told about the ring had hurt her, and she didn't know why. "Eh- Kate?"

"Yeah, Love?" Scribbs almost blushed at the endearment, which was said with such ease and conviction.

"When was our first date? Do you remember?" Scribbs asked gently. Ash thought for a second.

"I don't know the exact day, but it was the day I kissed Greg in front of everybody and you offered drinks or suicide." Scribbs vaguely remembered that Sullivan's first name was Greg(or something like that…), but she had never heard anyone else refer to him on first name basis.

"Yeah? What happened?"

"I remember getting pissed and crying on your shoulder about how stupid I'd been, even though I knew Greg would forgive me. We'd gone out to dinner afterwards, and I think I kissed you." Ash frowned in thought. "Or maybe I just really wanted to."

Scribbs remembered that day as well, and looking back, she could see why Ash would think that any one of their outings could be seen as a dat. In fact, Scribbs realized, any one of their outings over the last few years could be seen as a date to someone looking in for the first time. The two women often found themselves trying out some posh restaurant or other because the men they dated never took them despite their hints, then going back to either's flat for a romantic comedy, in which Ash and Scribbs would add in their own commentaries.

"That was a good time," Scribbs said, trying hard to think. If Ash had wanted to kiss her, it would have showed, right? She remembered the look on Ash's face, and knowing what she knew now, it really was that clichéd awkward moment before a kiss. Why hadn't Scribbs noticed it then? It wasn't like she'd been looking out for the moment. She smiled inwardly; it seemed when it came to Ash, the blonde realized just how clueless she was.

"Yeah it was," Ash agreed. The brunette shifted a little bit so that she was settled. Scribbs tucked the blankets a little bit more and helped Ash rearrange her pillow. "Thank you, Darling."

"Mm. Welcome," Scribbs replied as she sat down again. "Hey," the blonde said softly, "you remember the case we had with the hex dolls?"

"Rubbish witchcraft."

"Which had you scared, wanting to burn them right away," Scribbs teased.

"I was not scared," Ash said indignantly.

"Please." There was a snort. "You kept saying you didn't believe in it, but I know you were as spooked as I was."

"I wasn't scared," Ash repeated, "I was playing along so you wouldn't feel badly because I knew you were." Ash then said under her breath, "One can never be too cautious."

Scribbs' look seemed to say 'uh huh, sure', and a silence fell between the two women. Though it was an awkward situation, it was easier staying with Ash in silence than it was to be silent in Sullivan's presence. Ash sighed in somewhat contentment as the silence continued. Scribbs saw her friend look at the window sill, her eyes landing on the vase of flowers. A nurse came in, the same rule abiding nurse from before, and she gave Ash her medication. Once the nurse left again, Ash's eyes went back to the windowsill and narrowed when she spotted the Harry Potter book. Scribbs held back her laughter and almost expected the paperback to go up in flames. Instead, Ash surprised her with her request. "Emma," she said, "I don't remember much of what you read before, but it filtered into my sub consciousness. Would you read some more of it to me?"

Scribbs stared at Ash as if to read her friend. She wasn't sure if the brunette was kidding or not, but she went to the windowsill and grabbed the paperback. She looked at the cover of the world famous novel and said, "I'm not sure how much time I have, but let's see if I can read through a good part." She read for another half hour or so, stopping long enough to explain bits and pieces Ash wasn't sure about until Ash began to fall asleep again.

Looking at the clock, it was nearing five in the evening when Ash fell asleep. Scribbs wrote the brunette a short note to reassure her that she'd be back after work and to behave for her. In the back of her mind, she couldn't help but think that the note should have been written for a child, not someone like Ash. Scribbs looked at Ash's face after she left the note where the older woman would find it. Despite the things she'd gone through, she looked somewhat at peace, and Scribbs really hoped she'd made the right decision.

Scribbs was so deep in thought thinking about Ash that she almost didn't notice how close she was to her partner's neighborhood. When she did notice, she decided to take a detour to see if there was anything she could grab from Ash's flat that might make the hospital stay a little better. Surely she couldn't be comfortable in the hospital gowns, and the clothes she'd worn the day of the fall were probably still dirty. Even if the outfit had been cleaned, Scribbs wasn't sure how she felt about Ash wearing that same suit again for any reason. Maybe, after she'd gotten Ash to her place and rested for a couple of days, she'd show her the outfit to see if it sparked any memories, but until then, Scribbs wanted nothing to do with it.

Within moments, Scribbs was in front of the main doors to Ash's building, and she rang the security for the landlady's flat. "Hello?" asked a suspicious voice over the speaker.

"Hello, my name is Emma Scribbins. I'm a friend of Kate Ashurst of number fourteen?"

"Is something the matter?" Mrs. Marks asked. She sounded concerned for her tenant, and in a small way, this surprised Scribbs. She'd only met Mrs. Marks once, and even then it was a passing glance in the hallway when she was leaving Ash's flat one evening. It was eerie to Scribbs how much Mrs. Marks reminded her of her own mother. Scribbs' mother loved the theater too much, whereas Mrs. Marks seemed to be more of a recluse, often staying inside the apartment building from what Ash told her. She had someone get the things she needed or they were delivered straight to the door. Both women seemed suspicious by nature.

The blonde stood for a moment as she contemplated how to answer the woman. How could she explain Ash's situation to another when, even to herself it wasn't clear how well she and Ash got on. Scribbs did the best she could to block out the mental image of Ash at the speaker in Mrs. Marks' place. Still, Mrs. Marks was her landlady and needed to know what was happening, especially if Scribbs was possibly going to be moving Ash's things over to her place in the next few days. Before the blonde could respond, however, the deeper voice said, "Hold on a moment. I'll be right down. Please stay in the foyer."

Scribbs shrugged and opened the door as soon as she heard the buzzing. She did as she was told, staying within the tiled perimeter as she watched the stairs. She turned her attention to the post boxes belonging to the tenants of the building, and noticed that every box was labeled with last names with the exception of number fourteen. Scribbs looked up at the sound of clicking on the tile in the foyer and was almost face to face with Mrs. Marks. The woman had blonde hair, though there seemed to be streaks of brown and grey as well. Like the last time Scribbs saw her, Mrs. Marks had a nervous air to her, and looked outside every few seconds. "Hello Mrs. Marks," Scribbs said again, "like I said, I'm Ash's friend, and a few days ago she had quite a fall that had put her into a coma. Now that her situation's got a little bit… delicate, she's going to be staying with me for a while. I was wondering if I could come by with a couple of friends of ours to get some of her things over the next couple of days?"

Mrs. Marks considered this for a few moments, staring intently at the car that had pulled into the car park, then relaxed when she seemed to recognize the man getting out of the passenger seat. Both women were quiet until the man waved to the driver and the car backed out again. "You got her keys, then?"

"I know where she keeps her door key. She'll give me her set later." 'I'll pinch her set later,' she corrected herself mentally. Mrs. Marks nodded.

"Ring the boy Franklin when you're coming over; he'll tell me," the older woman said. After Scribbs got a piece of paper and a pen from her pockets, she wrote down the set of numbers Mrs. Marks gave her. "You got the keys for her post?"

"No ma'am," Scribbs replied.

"I'll get it for you then," Mrs. Marks said. She made a gesture for Scribbs to go with her up the stairs. "After you," she said, and the younger woman lead the way. As she got to the second set of stairs, Scribbs looked back to see Mrs. Marks walking up the stairs in a sideways fashion, her back mostly to the wall. She'd look back the way she came every so often, and then she'd continue on. Scribbs wondered if the woman's behavior wasn't because she was slightly mad, but because she had at one point been attacked. Suddenly Mrs. Marks became less weird to Scribbs and her patience with the woman was no longer politely forced. Scribbs stopped at Ash's flat and Mrs. Marks kept going. The detective didn't follow. Instead, she looked at the fire extinguisher and felt underneath its casing for the key Ash had put there 'for dire emergencies only, got it? If you use it for anything less, I'll have to kill you.' Scribbs peeled the scotch tape from the bottom and used the key to unlock the door.

Right away, Scribbs smelled the sweetness of rotting fruit, knowing that it came from the basket on Ash's dining room table, and headed right away in that direction. She went to work, cleaning out the bowl, throwing all of the fruit in the rubbish bin before she turned to start cleaning out Ash's refrigerator that may have gone bad due to Ash's unintentional negligence. By the time she was finished, she'd filled up most of the rubbish bin, so she tied a knot in the bag and put it by the door. Then Scribbs relined the bin before she washed her hands and walked down the hallway to Ash's bedroom, where the decoration and furniture was a little more personal.

Having been in Ash's room on many occasions to help her with a fashion crisis or two, she knew where just about everything was, starting with the brunette's suitcases. Searching further through the closet, Scribbs found a couple of the suits that Ash wore when she was in a more casual environment, like when they went to lunch together on a weekend. The blonde then went to Ash's dresser and randomly grabbed underwear and bras. Looking at Ash's small collection of shoes, she wondered which pair she should take with her, seeing as all of the shoes in sight didn't seem suitable for the hospital. Still, Scribbs reached for the pair of shoes Ash wore the most right before she'd bought her current pair for some office event, and hoped Ash would appreciate her decision.

Scribbs put all of the clothes and shoes in the suitcase, and then looked around, hoping she'd gotten everything Ash would want or need over the next couple of days. The picture on Ash's bedside table caught her eye, one of the brunette with her family when all of them were younger. Mr. and Mrs. Ashurst looked to be no older than Ash's current age, and a young David and Ash were in their mid-teens. Though it was easy to tell that the two were brother and sister back then, it was a little bit harder now. Ash had a slim figure, and from the looks of it she always had. David used to be slim as a teen, but had thickened over the years. His brown hair was lighter than Ash's, as well as curlier. Both Ashursts had cute smiles when you were lucky enough to see it, and on David it seemed as if at any moment someone would fall victim to a prank. A twinkle in his eye was there both in the picture as well as in the present. Ash's smile was shy, as if she too had a secret, but Ash looked as if she wasn't in a hurry to share anything. Scribbs couldn't remember seeing that look before on her partner in the time she'd known her.

As she looked around one last time, Scribbs found nothing else in Ash's room that Ash would want and closed the suitcase. She figured she could find a couple of CD's for Ash to listen to as well as a book or two to read as she made her way down the hallway once more. Scribbs had just opened up an empty Coldplay CD case when she heard a somewhat hesitant knock on the door. She knew it was Mrs. Marks with the post key. The blonde opened the door to the woman, who dangled the key and Scribbs held her hand out. She watched as the key dropped from one hand to the other. "I wish her well," Mrs. Marks said. "Miss Ashurst is a wonderful tenant. Quiet, no complaints except for an issue with a neighbor, never loses her keys and been 'ere over five years. Very respectful of rules and boundaries."

"Yes, Ash really likes her rules," Scribbs replied. There was a small smile from Mrs. Marks before she started up the stairs again. "Thank you," Scribbs said after her. Once the older woman was out of sight Scribbs closed the door and went back to Ash's CD player, where she found the Coldplay CD. Right under the CD player, Scribbs saw a small stack of CDs, some of which she recognized, like the Robbie Williams CD she had gotten her for her birthday the year before. Joss Stone, another Coldplay CD, Missy Higgins and the Bangles were also in the stack, and Scribbs took them all before putting them in the side pockets of the suitcase.

Scribbs made another visual sweep of the flat before she grabbed the suitcase in one hand and hauled the rubbish bag over her shoulder with the other. Scribbs left flat number fourteen, locking the door behind her. She passed someone who she assumed was another neighbor of Ash's. She smiled politely to return the one the young redheaded woman had given her, and thanked her when she moved aside to allow more room in the space. Downstairs, as she passed the post boxes, Scribbs took the key and opened Ash's box.

There wasn't as much mail piled up as Scribbs had anticipated. Not that she thought her colleague accepted the letters for the queen, but she expected more than her friend's mobile phone bill and junk mail. Scribbs stuffed the mail into her coat pocket and heard them crinkle as she moved, leaning down to grab the suitcase again and leave the building. She walked around the building to where she knew the Dumpster was and hauled the rubbish bag in. Then she loaded the suitcase into the backseat of her car and got in herself. Leaving the car park, she immediately headed towards her own flat.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Wednesday

Scribbs tried to shake off the strange dream she'd had the night before as she entered the police station the next morning. She couldn't figure out why the flower shop owner was in her dream. Well, yes she could, but Scribbs didn't understand why Luce leaned in and said, "Give her the lilies and dare her to love you. I did." There had then been a conspiratorial wink from her and that was all. After that, she'd taken the flowers and left as usual.

There was something about the dream, perhaps the lingering confusion, which made it seem almost real somehow. It was enough to wake her up an hour earlier than usual, and when she couldn't get back to sleep, Scribbs had decided to go into work a little early. She knew that with everything that was going on, she'd be in for a busy day, regardless of the results to Ash's scan.

The first thing that Scribbs saw after acknowledging the night janitor on his way out was the sight of Sullivan down the hallway. She saw that he was leaning over a vacant desk as he read over something; then, the distant whirr of a printer had him up and moving. When she passed the tea and coffee station she saw the coffee pot was three quarters of the way down, but because of the coffee grounds and the dozens of sugar packets in the trash, the blonde wasn't sure just how much Sullivan had already had that morning or even if he was the one to consume all of it.

As Scribbs sat down at her desk and put the small bag on the floor, she watched Sullivan in his office, moving from his computer to the phones, then back to the computer again as if to check on its progress. When his phone rang, he pounced on it, answering it with his normal tone of slight authority. Scribbs noticed then that the broad man was wearing the same suit as he'd had on the day before, which confirmed her suspicions that he'd stayed the night over in the office. She hoped that he had at least been able to use one of the many camp beds stashed away for such overnight assignments.

About ten minutes later, Sullivan hung up the phone and reached for papers that were being spit from the fax machine. Only then did he seem to notice that Scribbs was there. He gave a small wave, which she returned, before the two went on with their own tasks; Sullivan to his fax papers, Scribbs to the small stack of bills she'd gotten from Ash's box the night before. Scribbs had looked over her own finances the night before as well as the totals of the bills and figured that she'd be able to pay off everything if she dipped a little bit into her savings, which she hated doing. Once she started it was usually hard for her to stop. The thought that Ash would do the same for her made her start dialing the number for her bank.

Surprisingly, after she'd told the person at each company Ash's situation and given her partner's information, usually found on the bill itself, Scribbs was able to pay off all of the bills. She hoped that she'd now taken care of all of the expenses Ash would have coming immediately her way. During this, Sullivan had come out of his office and checked again the papers on the vacant desk Scribbs had seen him at first. When the blonde finished up the last of the phone calls, Sullivan sat on the edge of the desk so that they were facing each other. Looking up, Scribbs asked of him. "Are you okay?

"Yeah, it's just been a really long night," Sullivan replied.

"Would you like help with anything?"

"Thank you, but no. I think I've got a system down now, and I'd be faster if I go at it alone."

Scribbs raised her eyebrows at this. "So there's method to the madness?"

"I hope so," Sullivan replied. He looked around and saw a cup next to a plant on the other end of the desk away from the papers; he peered into it. He looked instantly grateful and grabbed the cup, taking a sip. Once he placed the cup down again, he looked back at Scribbs and said, "You look a bit busy there yourself. Back paperwork?"

"Er- Yeah, in a bit. I just had a few calls to make," Scribbs said. If her boss felt that there was anything odd about her statement, he didn't show it.

"What time are you off to visit Ash?"

"No later than three?" Scribbs guessed, her tone a question to Sullivan, asking his permission to leave even though he'd already given it to her in the hospital the day before.

"Good."

"Yeah, I've got some of her clothes and things to hopefully make her feel better and keep her busy."

"You went to her flat?"

"Yeah, I had to take care of a couple of things and tell the landlady some of what was going on. She knows now that we might be by the next couple of days." Scribbs explained, and Sullivan nodded. "I'm afraid to find out what her CT scan results are," she said suddenly.

"I'm sure she'll be alright. She is quite- er- resilient."

"She is strong," Scribbs agreed. She wasn't sure how she would react if she were in the same situation as Ash. The blonde knew, just coming out of a coma would damage her, but Ash seemed to be talking it all in stride, which really was the biggest surprise. There was a call coming in from Sullivan's office and the man sighed.

As Scribbs watched Sullivan retreat back to his office, the blonde stared at her partner's empty seat. She then stood up long enough to grab the folders containing paperwork from their most recent cases. The blonde had put it off for as long as she possibly could, spending the last days finishing up the investigations and only writing out the reports long hand. Sitting in front of a computer screen and worrying about fonts and indentations were Ash's favorite part of the job. It was proof that the case was as over as it could be on their end, and hopefully justice had been served to the best of their ability. Scribbs always preferred looking for the clues and solving the puzzles, seeing through the lies and sometimes spotting the clues within the most unlikely places.

Scribbs sighed heavily and whined in her head as she began to type up the reports. An hour later, she'd just finished the last one. Now, she sat quietly in thought as the offices filled up and the volume in the offices rose steadily as people greeted each other. Every once in a while someone would inquire about Ash and she would respond truthfully, then go back to thinking, mostly about how she was going to put her flat together for Ash's arrival. Scribbs ignored the looks she got every so often, mostly from part time staff who probably didn't know her without Ash somewhere close by. The blonde stared at the wilted flowers on Ash's desk. Just as a thought came to her to get more flowers for the desk, the DI's phone rang. Again, Scribbs stood to get to Ash's desk.

"Detective Inspector Kate Ashurst's desk," Scribbs greeted. In the blonde's first month as Ash's partner, that greeting had been a mouthful, but it quickly got a rhythm to it.

"Hello, is this Emma? This is David," the voice on the other line said, though Scribbs had recognized the voice right away.

"Hi, how are you?"

"I'm sorry for calling Katie's line. This is the only number I have. I called to see if there was anything I could do to help."

"Scribbs, who is that?" Sullivan, appearing as if by magic, asked, his tone slightly frantic.

"Oh, hold on a second," the blonde said into the receiver.

"Okay," Ash's brother said casually. Scribbs covered the mouth piece to the phone.

"It's David, Ash's brother." Scribbs wasn't sure if Sullivan was frantic because he didn't know who would be calling Ash's desk at that time or if it was because of the work he'd already been doing that morning.

"Oh! I need to speak with him. Could you transfer him over to my office?" Sullivan asked, just as his mobile phone went off again.

Scribbs spoke into the receiver, "David, DI Sullivan would like a word; I'll just put you through."

She looked down at the numbers on the phone system and scanned the buttons with her index finger twirling over them as she searched for the one she needed.

Sullivan said, "Please hold," into his mobile before joining the blonde at Ash's desk, gently grabbing the receiver from Scribbs. He then pressed a series of three buttons before he replaced the receiver. He hurried to his office when the phone rang in there, giving Scribbs a 'look' on his way in. Sullivan slowly closed the door so as to not seem rude. He didn't want Scribbs to think he was shutting her out, but he did need privacy for these calls. Scribbs watched the man pick up the receiver and speak into it. He seemed to speak in to one phone, then into the other, alternating between the two callers and relaying messages. In one instant, Sullivan had both phones to his ear at the same time. Whatever it was that the three were talking about wasn't certain, but Scribbs knew that it had something to do with Ash's situation and was glad that her partner was in good hands, whether or not she could do anything more to help. With those thoughts, Scribbs went back to her work, typing in the grammar corrections and pretending Ash was looking over her shoulder. Soon she was able to get into another rhythm.

It was almost another hour before Scribbs found herself bored at her desk. Since Sullivan hadn't put her on anymore cases (and she didn't want to be on any other cases without Ash), she didn't have anything to do after typing up the reports. She even found herself cleaning out and organizing her small box of toys used to reenact crime scenes, rearranging them by the genre of popular culture each figure belonged to. Just as she was contemplating a game of solitaire, she saw David walk down the hallway towards her. She waved in greeting and got a wave in return. "How is she doing?" David asked.

"I haven't spoken to her today," Scribbs admitted guiltily.

"I dropped my mother off at the hospital, but I don't know how she is either."

"Part of me doesn't want to know," Scribbs said. "I'll call her in a bit, though."

David nodded before he asked, "Is Mr. Sullivan in? We spoke on the phone and I need further instructions."

"He's in there," Scribbs replied, pointing to the office of the man in question. Both could see Sullivan searching through a file. David went to the door and knocked hard enough to be heard.

Sullivan opened the door, partially expecting Scribbs, but hoping it was Ash's brother. When he saw it was the latter, he stuck his hand out for the younger man to shake. "I'm glad you could make it," the broad man said.

"No problem at all," David replied. Sullivan then looked at Scribbs to fill her in on what was happening.

"David here works for Hello magazine, as a photographer, so I thought he might be able to help with photo manipulation for you and Ash's pictures."

"I was wondering about that," Scribbs said.

Turning towards David a little more, Sullivan asked, "So, how long do you think it takes for you to make one manipulation?"

"It really depends on the picture or pictures needed. If Kate and Emma are both already in the picture, I'd say about twenty minutes to put them a little closer or what have you. Otherwise, I'd take about an hour."

"Good. Good," Sullivan said as he fell into his thoughts for a moment. "I'm going to have to leave soon. I have a picture already that I'll need you to work on before I go." The older man looked past David and again at Scribbs. "I'll take it to be developed and perhaps you could give it to Ash on your visit."

"I don't think that would be wise," Scribbs said slowly.

"Why not?"

"If Emma were to give Katie a picture of them together romantically when we're supposed to be getting her life back to normal, it may mess everything up," David cut in, and Scribbs nodded in agreement. He had said exactly what Scribbs had wanted to say, only with better wording. Again, Sullivan nodded.

"Well…" he sighed, "you can keep it with you. If she asks, or things get difficult, then you'll have it. Until we figure out how the scan has gone, we won't have much of a game plan. We have to have a little something prepared anyway, and I have been trying."

"I know, and thanks Boss," Scribbs said gratefully.

"So, there's a computer over there for you to use. Its running kind of slow today."

"No problem," David said again, and Scribbs wondered if it was a favorite phrase of his.

I'll leave you to it then." Sullivan looked at both David and Scribbs before he disappeared back into his office.

"So, you're the one to do the manipulations," Scribbs said, mostly as a way to start a conversation between them.

"Well, yeah," David replied, "Mr. Sullivan knew from Katie that I'm a photographer, and when I called this morning, he asked if I could help him out with that. So… I guess I should get started. You didn't happen to bring any pictures of yours with you, did you?" he asked.

Scribbs winced. "I knew I was forgetting something," the blonde moaned.

"You know, it's okay. I've got this Christmas photo here I could work on, and we can try again tomorrow."

"No, uh- If I can remember the password, I have a few pictures on a site somewhere, but they're mostly headshots I took for a- er- dating site." Scribb's tone was apologetic.

"I can work with that," David said, looking as though he was already thinking about the possibilities. Scribbs opened up a browser window on her computer and went directly to the site, hoping no one looked over her shoulder and thought she was going to naughty sites on the work computers. "If you search for your profile, you can see your own pictures, yeah?" David asked. Scribbs nodded. "Well then, I can just cut and paste your picture or save it directly to the desktop and work with it that way." As he spoke, David was putting the Christmas picture in the scanner and waited for it to scan through.

"What if I've got a couple of pictures saved to my account, but not on the page?" Scribbs asked.

"We can't do anything about that if you haven't got your password, now can we?"

"True. I think I remember it now, though." Scribbs typed in the four letters and three numbers that had come to her and she suddenly stared at the profile of 'the_only_scribbs'. She remembered wanting the screen name policewomanx30, but Ash apparently had a rule against numbers in any screen name, especially if it was to represent her personality in any way. Luckily for Scribbs, underscores were okay in Ash's world. Scribbs told David her screen name and password, noticing that her profile had a couple of messages. There was no way she'd answer them now, even if she'd wanted to. Part of the reason she'd forgotten her password was because she never visited the site anymore. In Scribbs' opinion, all of the ads sounded alike, and none of them were true.

After a moment of looking over the other pictures, David said, "I like the last two pictures of you in the brown jacket. You look really nice; strong, but not tough."

"Thanks. Ash took it." Scribbs replied.

"Taking good photographs must run in our family. My father started it. He liked taking pictures at parties, but stopped a few years ago because… well… That is family history that would bore you. My mother sometimes took pictures of flowers and Kate would take pictures of our horses."

"She's very good at finding one's good side," Scribbs commented as David worked on scanning a slightly younger picture of Ash from what looked like a family holiday. In it, Ash was sitting on the sofa looking up at the top right corner, as if looking at someone else in the room out of the picture. She was smiling, and seemed a little more relaxed. Scribbs knew that David was going to place one of her standing pictures in the shot to make it seem as though she was the one Ash was looking at. It took him many moments to get Ash's eye line so that it was convincing, but he'd done it.

Scribbs stared at the picture for a moment, marveling at how good the two looked in both the Christmas picture and the one David had just completed. If Scribbs hadn't known better, she would have thought the two of them had been together for years. The door to Sullivan's office opened then, and the tall man got looks from both David and Scribbs. "How's it going?" he asked.

"I've got that Christmas photo done the way you asked, and I've just finished this one here," David informed him, and Sullivan looked over the younger man's shoulder.

"Excellent. There should be a blank CD there in one of the drawers," Sullivan said, and David looked. He found one right away and began saving the two images.

"I can get these developed, just in case," Sullivan mentioned to Scribbs. "I've got to leave for a couple of hours. What time are you planning to see Ash again?" he asked, looking a little confused because he couldn't remember.

"'Round two or three," Scribbs answered.

"Good. I should be back by then. Don't leave until I get back," Sullivan said, shrugging into his coat. He was gone not long after that, leaving Scribbs and David to watch him leave.

After that, they stayed in the quiet atmosphere for a while. Once, one of Scribbs' fellow DS' walked by, noticing the picture David was working on he gave her an odd look, but Scribbs didn't care.

At around one thirty, David's mobile went off, and he answered it quickly. "'Lo? Hi Mum. How is she?" At this, Scribbs' attention was taken from her solitaire game. David said 'mmhm' and other such sounds to prove he was listening to his mother. "Great. Yeah. I'll be there. Yeah. Mm bye." When he hung up, he looked over at Scribbs, who stared back expectantly.

"As you probably already know, that was our mum. She says that Katie's scan went alright, but Dr. Pellow found a shadow or some sort, which could be a small blood clot. It could also be nothing, but he wants to keep her there for a couple of days at least so he can keep an eye on it and make sure it remains nothing." Scribbs had feared something like that. "It's probably nothing, though," David quickly reassured.

"I hope so," Scribbs replied softly. Shrugging, she dared to ask, "Is your mum taking this any better today?"

"She's not going about with rainbow stickers declaring how much she loves her gay daughter, if that's what you mean." David laughed at Scribbs' look. "She's still in a bit of shock, but you shouldn't worry. She doesn't blame you or anything. She grew up on the right side of town, married the right person and lived a good life. She wants the same for us. But then Katie wanted to go into the police academy and I wanted to work in journalism."

"Yeah, but Ash isn't to blame, either. It wasn't as if she woke up one morning and said 'I think the best way to piss my mother off is to become a lesbian, so that's what I'll do." Scribbs lowered her voice as she said this, as people were starting to stare at them a bit after David's comment on the rainbow stickers.

"My mother knows that, Emma, but she's in a spot now where all she can do is sit there and accept it all, which I'm sure is killing her."

"I hadn't thought of it like that, really," Scribbs said. "It's not like Ash properly came out to anyone."

"No, but I'd sort of already guessed."

"You knew?"

"I guessed," David repeated to correct the blonde.

"When?"

"About a year and a half ago, but I always wondered about it, even when we were in college."

"What happened to make you know for sure?"

"We'd gone out to dinner one evening when our father was in town, and the waitress was really friendly with Katie as she served her. She kept touching her shoulder and leaning in close to her. I'd seen a male waiter do the same thing, but she'd gotten uncomfortable. This time she blushed. It made me think about things. You know, how some of the things she was about made more sense now. And then there was the small fact that she talked about you to the point where I thought you were secret lovers."

Scribbs eyebrows rose. "Why didn't you talk to her about it?"

"Katie and I used to be very close before she met you and tragedy struck-" This got Scribbs' attention.

"Tragedy? What tragedy?" Scribbs asked. David seemed to realize his mistake and swallowed nervously.

"It's a long story, Emma, and not mine to tell." David locked eyes with her, pleading with the blonde to not ask him anymore of it.

"No, not more secrets," Scribbs moaned, rubbing her eyes. 'What more could there be?' the blonde asked herself. Her mind raced. That Ash was married once, and that was how she knew she was gay? Scribbs sighed. That was probably something else Ash didn't remember, whatever this tragedy was, and Scribbs was pretty certain that this tragedy had something to do with a lot of Ash's rules. "So, you were close. You'd think she would've told you first, not Sullivan."

"I thought so too, but I was wrong. I wanted to talk to her about it all. Ask Katie questions and to just be there for her, but I didn't want to make her uncomfortable and make us even more separated. I hoped she'd come to me sooner or later, but she never did." David's tone was still a bit sad.

"Well- uh- don't take it personally. There's so much Ash isn't saying to anyone-"

"And that's what worries me," David cut in, though not in a way that would seem rude, "How long had she planned to keep it all in? How long would she have continued to hide it all had this not happened and forced it to come tumbling out in the open? What kind of person would such secrets have created?"

"What I want to know is what made her think that anything that happened to her or anything she did would make us love her any less. It makes me wonder if she really knew me at all these last years, or I her. But I - I can't be thinking stuff like that. Ash is Ash. Gay or straight or married or a fugitive- whatever. Damn it." Scribbs ended her rant in a mutter. She sighed loudly as her hands covered her face. "Damn it," she cursed.

Suddenly, there was a moment of complete silence where even the chatter around them seemed to die down.

Finally, David asked, "Would you like some tea?"

"No… No thank you." Scribbs mumbled.

"You're right you know," David continued, "She's still the woman we love, so that is what we'll do, yeah? We can't do anything more than that right now. Secrets or no secrets, she is our priority. Maybe we can get everything out in the open sometime during or after this, but for now…"

"I know,"

"I know it's hard, but it has to all work out."

"I hope so,"

Throughout this, Scribbs never moved her hands. She remained that way until Sullivan came back, and she lifted her head when she heard him ask, "Everything alright?" The DCI had two bags in his hands and from the looks of it, they held picture frames. Neither David nor Scribbs responded at first, so Sullivan set the bags down and took out one of the picture frames. "Here you are, Scribbs, just in case." He handed over the framed picture of Ash and Scribbs at the Christmas party, and she saw a border of holly around it. The frame itself said 'Forever' on the bottom. The blonde had to admit, it was pretty cute.

"I like it," Scribbs said with her nod of approval.

Good. And I bought these for you two. I hope I selected the right sizes." Sullivan took out two small jewelry boxes from his jacket and handed them to the blonde. Scribbs knew what was inside already, but she still opened one of them up. Inside was a gold band, and she set the other box on the desk before she took it out and tried it on. It was only slightly loose, but it stopped at the knuckle, so it was manageable. When she took a closer look at the ring, she saw the inscription 'Only You' glittering up at her.

"That was very thoughtful Boss, adding this on as an inscription," Scribbs commented.

"I'm glad you think so. Ash did say you started dating around that time, so I thought it would be some inside thing for you two that she might or might not remember later."

Scribbs took out the other ring, which was smaller and would naturally be Ash's, as the brunette had thinner hands than Scribbs. "At least now things could be a little better this visit. We're a little more prepared." Sullivan said.

"Yeah," Scribbs agreed, "Thank you."

David then filled Sullivan in on the phone call from his mother and the update on Ash's condition, which made Sullivan frown in thought. "So, I'm going to assume there's a chance her memory may not come back completely anytime soon Um, an assumption is an assumption – medically I don't think a clot would make any difference but a layman could quite easily make that assumption," David concluded. "I'd advise we start moving some of Katie's things over to Emma's."

"I agree," Sullivan said right away and then looked to Scribbs. "Would you mind if we started today? David and I could get a moving truck after we finish up work here, and we could all meet up at Ash's flat no later than six this evening."

"Yeah, that's fine," the blonde said. She stood up and stretched before putting her coat back on. Then she leaned over and closed out of all documents and windows before shutting down the computer. "Six o'clock at Ash's flat, then?" she confirmed. There was a nod, and Scribbs turned towards her car. She heard behind her the small chatter to the two men behind her, and wondered what all they were talking about.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

As Scribbs put her foot on the brakes at the red light, she mentally prepared herself for her visit with Ash. The last visit had been pretty emotional, and the blonde wasn't sure what she should expect. More than likely Ash would be somewhat angry with her for not being there right away, but Scribbs hoped she'd be forgiving once she received her change of clothes and the other things Scribbs had brought for her. Thinking about Ash's things rattling around in her back seat, Scribbs remembered that the portable CD player she'd taken from her flat needed batteries and she'd meant to buy some on her way into work.

Looking down the street, she saw the elementary school and the children playing on the fields. Scribbs knew that another block away was the familiar flower shop as well as a small grocery shop, where she knew she could get the batteries.

As she made her way towards the grocery store, she saw Luce briefly through the flower shop window helping a woman hold a large flower pot with a small tree in it. Seeing the other woman made her think of her dream from the night before, and she wondered if it meant anything. Again, she shook it off as she entered the grocery store's car park and then went inside.

Suddenly, she almost collided with Luce's partner, the sunny woman from the first time she had entered the shop.

"Oh! Hello. If it isn't my favorite customer," Rachel said,

"Hello. Sorry about that," Scribbs said gesturing towards the other woman. "How are you?"

"Good! How's your friend? The one you're always getting flowers for?"

"Ash. She's doing better now. She woke up, so she's on the mend now." Scribbs wiggled her fingers around the wedding band as she stood there, unsure of what else to say.

"You know, I don't think we've properly met. I like you, but I don't know your name."

"Oh- uh, Emma Scribbins, Scribbs... either really."

"Scribbs? I like that. I'm Rachel. Rach, if you will," she said. She raised the arm with the plastic bag in hand. "Luce got hungry, so I'm picking her up some lunch," she felt the need to explain.

"How are things at the shop?"

"Luce is busy, and she likes that. Well, we'd better not block the door any longer. Stop by the shop any time and say hi."

"Sure thing, bye," Scribbs replied and watched Rachel walk away. She then went her own way to where she knew the batteries were. She grabbed two packs of four and went to pay when she noticed coconut topped chocolate and grabbed that as well. Ash loved coconut flavors more than anything, and to have them top chocolate would be the best thing ever.

Scribbs got to the hospital with no further incident, and brought the suitcase in. She got a couple of looks but that didn't matter to Scribbs. When she got down the hallway and turned into Ash's room, she saw Ash's mother there. The older Ashurst woman saw Scribbs before the blonde could sneak away. She stood up, leaving her sleeping daughter. As she stopped in front of Scribbs, somewhat blocking the doorway, the blonde prepared herself for some sort of confrontation. Instead, Scribbs got the silent treatment as Mrs. Ashurst stared at her, looking her over, and then down at the suitcase and plastic bag in her other hand. Finally, she moved past Scribbs saying, 'Alright then,' as she left down the hallway.

Scribbs, though confused, understood what Mrs. Ashurst meant by her display. She was telling Scribbs that though she didn't like it, she knew that it was what needed to be done. Though she didn't approve of it, she understood that Ash was in love with Scribbs and therefore the blonde was the best person to care for her. The blonde stood for a moment as she thought about this. A movement in Ash's room caused her to move. As she placed the suitcase near Ash's bedside table, the rustling continued until Ash was fully sitting up. "Hi Darling, where's mum?"

"She just left, Kate." Scribbs said softly. "Don't think she wanted to wake you." Ash nodded and Scribbs took the chair Mrs. Ashurst had just been in. "How are you feeling?"

"I've been fighting off the headache that won't go away," Ash said groggily.

"I brought you a few things for when you're feeling a little bit better. Here, thought you might want this back," the blonde said, taking the small ring box out of her jacket pocket. She opened the box and took the ring out, then reached for Ash's left hand. She slipped the ring easily over Ash's finger. Scribbs watched her own hands as she did so, feeling something small tickle inside her, almost as if someone ran their finger up and down her stomach under the skin. She swallowed and withdrew her hands before Ash's hand grabbed hers.

Ash inspected the ring on her finger and she seemed almost instantly changed. It seemed as if things were finally as they should have been. "Thank you, Sweetheart," Ash said, and it was almost a sigh of relief, except for the fact that Ash was still sleepy.

"You're welcome."

"What else did you bring?" Ash asked. Scribbs took the items out of the suitcase and the bag one by one, save the underwear, and Ash looked more and more grateful. When she got to the CD's and the chocolate, she said, "Emma, if we weren't already married, I'd propose." She thought for a moment. "Though," she continued, "this time it'd be better than the last time I did."

Scribbs looked up at this. "Do you remember?"

"Yeah. You came over and spent the weekend with me, and I was trying to get you to stay a little bit longer. You told me that if you stayed another night, you'd drive me mad, and I think I meant to say something like, 'I'm used to you driving me mad by now,' but I ended up saying, 'I want you to stay with me forever'." Ash stopped for a second. "I always said stuff that would usually make me sick, but you just grinned at me and said, 'Is that a proposal?'. I didn't know if you were kidding or not, so I didn't say anything. A few days later we went walking somewhere and passed a jewelry shop. I stopped to look at rings so I could propose to you properly, but you ended up dragging me inside and we got our rings right then."

Scribbs listened to Ash speak, and saw her get a little more animated as she spoke of them as a couple. It surprised her that she could see the scene play out in her head. If Ash had said something like that to her while they were dating, that really would have been her reply. As for dragging Ash into a jewelry shop like that, she wasn't sure if that fit her personality, but the thought of it was a bit like a scene in a romantic comedy. The thought that Ash would have such a vivid scenario as a daydream made her feel badly that she didn't know that Ash felt that way about her for all that time.

Scribbs watched as Ash's eyes closed and she knew by the relaxed pressure on her fingers that the brunette had fallen asleep again. She waited a few more minutes before she slipped her hand from Ash's. She put the bag with the chocolates on the small table and hoped her other things were close enough for Ash to lean down and grab. Scribbs left another note, reached into Ash's jacket for her keys, and walked to her car, where she took out her mobile. She called the number Mrs. Marks had given her and hoped Fredrick would answer.

"Hello?" The voice on the other end was younger than she'd expected. He sounded no older than fifteen.

"Hello, is Fredrick there?"

"This is him," he responded.

"Hi, I'm Emma Scribbins. Mrs. Marks gave me your number so that you would relay a message for me?"

"Yeah? What would you like me to tell 'er?"

"Would you let her know that Kate Ashurst from number fourteen will have myself, her friend Greg Sullivan, and her brother David Ashurst over this evening? We'll have a truck rental and we'll be moving her furniture about."

"I'll let her know."

"Thank you." They said their polite goodbyes and hung up. Then Scribbs got into her car and drove out of the car park.

That evening, Scribbs saw the rental truck before she saw Ash's building. David stood next to it with his hands in his pockets while Sullivan sat on the curb. He looked a little bit better that before, but he still seemed worn out. He wore casual pants and a khaki colored shirt, and his hair looked like it was still wet from a recent shower. "You two are early," Scribbs commented.

"We hoped to start a little bit early so that we aren't at it all night, but we couldn't get in, nor could we convince the landlady to let us in without you." David said.

"Really? Well, I've got the keys off Ash, and hopefully she got the message that we were coming before hand, so that she wasn't too surprised by your arrival earlier."

"Good." Sullivan spoke up, slowly getting to his feet and dusting himself off. Scribbs walked around the rental truck and grabbed for her keys, juggling the car keys and office keys as she searched her pockets for them. Once found, Scribbs put the keys in the lock one by one until the fifth key opened it. She held the door open for the two men as David walked past with a trolley and Sullivan took his time getting in with the boxes. She smirked behind them as she thought of the gender role reversal, and found that she was going to be playing 'the man' in her marriage with Ash, at least until the brunette felt better.

Having both been to Ash's place at least once since she'd moved there, David and Sullivan walked right to number fourteen, where they saw a piece of paper taped to the door for 'Emma Sibbs. The note pretty much said that Mrs. Marks got the message and to call him again if Scribbs was coming back later in the week. Though Scribbs already had it, Fredrick had put down his number again right before his signature. Scribbs folded the note back up and opened the door to Ash's flat.

Sullivan and David followed after her and right away, Sullivan sat down. She could see how tired he was and hoped David and she were strong enough together to do most of the heavy lifting while Sullivan packed up smaller things into a couple of boxes. Scribbs hadn't planned on moving anything too big yet, anyway, just a lamp, Ash's bedding and personal care stuff, like soap and towels and such.

David seemed to already know this, as he'd gone in the direction of Ash's bedroom and came back with a few of her shirts. "What furniture do you want to take with you?" David asked as he put the shirts in one of the three boxes Sullivan had brought up.

"We don't have to do it all tonight," Scribbs told the men.

"We're all here, so we might as well," Sullivan replied.

"I suppose…" Scribbs thought about it.

"Are you going to move some of those chairs?" David asked.

"No, I'm not going to have room for them. I figure Ash and I would've argued about that, but in the end I won out because she made me get rid of my favorite chair," the blonde explained. This earned a smirk from Sullivan.

"Bet you both agreed on Ash's sofa," he added in.

"Yeah, that was no question," Scribbs agreed.

"What about dishes?" David asked.

"The good china, yes, though I don't know why, since the only people worth using them for would have disowned her for being gay and married to a woman," Scribbs said, walking over to Ash's CD collection and grabbing a few more CDs from it.

"I'm not good enough for the good china?" David asked, trying to sound hurt.

"Sorry," Scribbs replied, even though it was plain to see she wasn't.

"Ha-rumph," David huffed, but he was being playful, and Scribbs had to laugh at the look on his face as he did so. "It surprises me how well you know Katie," David said a moment later, his tone slightly more serious.

"How well I thought I knew Ash," Scribbs corrected, turning her back on the younger man so she wouldn't have to see his look. It was silent for a while as David brought out items from Ash's room and packed them away while Scribbs made tea for Sullivan before going back to her tasks in the living room. Sullivan finished assembling the boxes before he began to pack the items David brought out.

Over the course of the next two hours, nothing else was really said as they moved Ash's sofa, along with the three full boxes from Ash's flat to Scribbs'. Then David and Sullivan moved Scribbs' couch and chair, along with half of the dishes in her kitchen back over to Ash's flat . They left at around nine to get some food. Before leaving, they'd given Scribbs a stack of framed pictures, mostly the manipulated photos of them together, but there was also a copy of what looked like a Canadian marriage license. Scribbs marveled at how well David had done to make it look real. As she set it carefully on her bookshelf she thought about the week so far, allowing herself to get lost in thought.

Everything was just getting too real, and Scribbs wasn't sure how she felt about it all. She had tried to keep herself from thinking too much about it so that she could get everything done, but right now she just couldn't stop herself.

She'd had to get things done for Ash, but now most of it was ready, and she had to prepare herself for Ash's arrival in her home. Scribbs couldn't stop the hurt feelings she had that she hadn't known about Ash's secret. Nor could she stop the guilt that she felt when it all came down to one thing: it appeared Scribbs wasn't the friend that Ash trusted. She must have said or done something that made Ash feel as if Scribbs wasn't accepting of someone close to her being gay.

There was also the small panic that Ash would step into the flat and just know that it was all wrong. Scribbs was really scared that she would get angry with her and think she was playing some sort of elaborate joke on her or something like that. Scribbs turned her head, her eyes landing on another one of the framed photo manipulations. It had her and Ash standing side by side as they smiled in front of them. She sighed, and looked away. There wasn't anything she could really do now but wait and see how things did or didn't work out.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Sunday

Scribbs packed the last of Ash's flowers and get well cards into the backseat of her car before she closed the door and moved around to the front drivers' side, checking on her passenger through the windshield every now and then. Her tired, yet happy, partner smiled as their eyes met briefly through the glass. Ash then leaned her head back and closed her eyes, clasping the small paper bag with her prescription inside a little tighter. Otherwise, the DI looked relaxed now that she was out of the hospital. Scribbs was glad for this, though she was also a little bit nervous as well. Though she'd gone through the scenarios based on their personalities in order to arrange the combined furniture to look like the flat belonged to a happily married couple, she had no way of knowing what their home looked like in Ash's mind, and she may see through the whole thing right away.

Ash was tired, and Scribbs didn't blame her for being so quiet. She'd had constant scans and tests the last half of the week until Dr. Pellow had finally seemed happy with the results and allowed Scribbs to take her home. She was now on two different types of medication. Though she was remembering a few things at a time, Ash's progress in regaining her memory was slower than Dr. Pellow would have predicted, and Scribbs hoped that being near familiar environments would help spark some recognition and a few more memories.

Though the ride to Scribbs' flat was silent, there was no tension between them. Ash took a small nap while Scribbs tried to make her fears subside. If Ash saw through the whole façade, would it make all of her memories come back at once? Scribbs knew that once Ash began to remember her life before the fall, the brunette beside her wouldn't like the fact that Scribbs had gone along with the deception, and she'd never trust Scribbs, even the way she had, ever again. Surely their friendship would suffer from the deceit but, if at the end of it all, Ash was better, would it be worth it? She had to admit that the answer was probably no, as Ash was one of the few steady things in her life other than her family, her job and her bills.

Scribbs sighed and forced herself to stop thinking like that. She told herself a few times that Ash would understand, and though their friendship would be a bit strained at first, things would go back to normal after a while. Those thoughts settled her down a little. Scribbs maneuvered the car to her flat and they got there within ten minutes. She gently touched Ash's shoulder, and she awoke with a deep breath. Scribbs secured the car, then got out and walked to the other side to open Ash's door. She took the prescription 'as needed' pain medication from Ash's lap, which freed the brunette's good hand so she could use it to grab the door and climb out of the car.

"Let's get you inside," Scribbs murmured as Ash closed the door behind her. The blonde grabbed the suitcase and large bag with the cards and flowers and followed behind Ash as she walked inside. Together, the two women got to Scribbs' door and the blonde let go of the suitcase long enough to unlock and open it. Ash took a couple of steps inside and stopped. Behind her, Scribbs froze in slight fear, not caring that the door was still open. The brunette took a long look at the space around her and then looked back at Scribbs.

"Darling, did you rearrange the furniture?" Ash wondered, turning to look at some of the pictures on the bookshelf. She frowned as if to force herself to remember the events that took place in them.

"Er- yeah?" Scribbs said, her answer ending one note higher, so that it sounded like a question.

Ash slowly turned to the couch and sat down. She heaved a sigh and said, "I'm home."

Unknown to Scribbs, the blonde had been holding her breath, and she let it out, her sigh almost matching Ash's. She studied Ash, noting how happy she seemed. The look on her face matched how it had been when her wedding ring had been 'returned'.

"Are you hungry?" Scribbs asked; then mentally slapped herself. "Of course you are. Hospital food, huh? All I've got are leftovers, though."

"My poor wife," Ash said with a small chuckle, "If I'm not here to cook for you, you practically starve."

"Hey, I know how to use a stove," Scribbs protested.

"And luckily for you, you also know how to call the fire department." Ash retorted. Scribbs stuck out her lip in a pout when she couldn't think of a witty reply, then smiled before she went to heat up the left over take away from the night before.

Scribbs found herself relaxing a little bit more. The teasing felt more normal to her, and she felt she could deal with the situation a little better. Though she slipped a couple of times while picking out a movie to watch, calling Ash by her nickname and not her more intimate name, she was getting used to it faster than she expected herself to. Just as the two agreed to watch 'St. Trinian's', Ash declaring that she needed a film to make her smile, the timer on the stove went off and Scribbs went to serve their meal. She poured Ash a larger glass of water than her own so that the brunette could take her evening dose of the pain medication, as her wrist still bothered her.

After both of them had eaten, Scribbs sat back on the couch, setting her plate on the coffee table in front of her. She was surprised when, after taking off the sling on her right arm, Ash shifted slowly but surely so that she was leaning on Scribbs, her head on the blonde's shoulder. Scribbs looked down at Ash, but she was watching the film. Suddenly, when Ash looked up quizzically, Scribbs realized that she'd been staring at the top of the brunette's head for a moment. She also realized that when Ash's eyes met hers, she got nervous, for Ash's eyes held hers, and all Scribbs could see was the love that Ash must have hidden from her for six years. Scribbs looked away, back to the TV. She felt Ash move again and felt a kiss on her cheek, but, before she could look at Ash again, her partner had settled in again, taking the hand that had been up to that point resting on Scribbs' lap into her own.

Scribbs was quiet for a while as thoughts went wild in her mind. "Kate?"

"Mm," the brunette answered sleepily.

"How come you never came out to me? I mean- before we started dating?"

Ash slowly sat up again so that she could turn her head to look at her wife. "I wanted to, Emma, I really did."

"But you thought I'd blab?"

"No, not at all. Don't think I didn't trust you enough to keep my secret. I did, and that was part of why I didn't." Before Scribbs could say, 'Come again?' Ash continued. "I loved you as my friend as well as more than that. I knew that it was only a matter of time before you'd know that I was in love with you. I couldn't bear the thought of losing you, because dating or not, we were good together."

"I would never have gotten weird on you-"

"I didn't know that for sure, and call me a coward, but it wasn't a risk I was willing to take when our friendship worked out just fine as it was."

"But surely I must have hurt you? To see me out there with everyone but you-?"

"It doesn't matter now, does it Em?" Ash asked with a flicker of hurt on her face, though Scribbs saw it disappear immediately. "It all worked out in the end, didn't it?"

Scribbs thought about this and then nodded. "Yeah, I suppose it did."

Nothing else was said or done until after the movie ended, and Scribbs had to coax a sleeping Ash off of the couch and helped her into the bedroom. Ash blinked as Scribbs rubbed her back. "You rearranged the wardrobe too? You must have been busy."

"You have no idea." Scribbs said as Ash walked to the said wardrobe and picked out her sleeping wear.

When Scribbs turned around quickly to leave the room, Ash asked, "You coming to bed?"

"I will in a bit. I've got to tidy up the kitchen and then maybe I'll watch some television. I'm not all that tired." Scribbs told her, then turned around again when Ash suddenly took off her shirt and began to change. She walked into the kitchen wondering why she'd been so quick to leave. She'd helped Ash try on clothes many times over the years they'd known each other, and she'd seen Ash in her underwear many times. But this time it was different. Ash thought they were married. Surely, in Ash's mind, they'd already… been there, done that. Scribbs just couldn't be in the room with that knowledge, even if Ash was too injured and medicated for that sort of activity.

Scribbs sighed and went to work in the kitchen as she'd said. At least her plan to get through this without lying wasn't going too badly. She'd stretched the truth so much thus far, but she hadn't needed to lie about anything and that helped more than she knew. As Scribbs picked up the dishes from the coffee table, she could hear one of Ash's rules in her head, for surely there was at least one about food in areas other than the kitchen and dining room. This thought made the blonde stop moving. Ash hadn't recited a single rule since she had awakened in the hospital on Tuesday. There had been many opportunities for her to use them: hospital visiting etiquette, surely some sort of comment on Scribbs' posture half the time she was there, and the way flowers should be, but the blonde had heard nothing of the sort. Although Ash did vent on a couple of topics that irked her during her stay, there wasn't even one 'there are rules for that, you know' out of her.

Was it possible that she'd forgotten the rules all together? That she even had rules other than common sense? Scribbs was saddened by this, as like them or not, those rules were a part of Ash's personality, and, Scribbs hated to admit, why she'd liked her so much in the beginning. Still, the more Scribbs thought about it as she washed the dishes and then turned the TV on at a low volume, only one conclusion came to her: the rules must be pretty recent, which meant that they hadn't always been a part of her. Did that mean something had started the rulemaking, or was it just a habit she'd picked up somewhere and hadn't let go of? And, if the rules were such a big part of Ash's personality- as the blonde had once thought - and Ash had forgotten about their existence did this mean that Scribbs would now be dealing with a totally different Ash?

Scribbs sighed, would she even like the new Ash as much as she liked the no-nonsense woman she'd befriended?


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Monday

Scribbs felt a tickle on her cheek. She hastily brought a hand up to move the hair away from her face, but encountered skin instead. This made the blonde woman's eyes open to the blurriness that was Ash. Once her eyes focused, she saw the concern on Ash's face and felt badly. "I'm sorry I didn't get to bed last night," Scribbs offered.

"I let you sleep in as much as I could, but its eight thirty," Ash said.

"Thanks A-Kate," Scribbs said. "How do you feel?"

"Still a bit tired," Ash replied.

"Perhaps you should get back to sleep," Scribbs suggested, but Ask shook her head.

"I've got all day to do that. Come on. I'll make you some toast," she said, but the concern was still there on her face. 'What aren't you saying Ash?' Scribbs wondered in her mind.

"You don't need to do that, Darling, really." Scribbs insisted as she stood up from the couch and stretched.

"It's no big deal. How hard is it to put bread in the toaster and push the lever down?" Ash stepped quickly into Scribbs' space and leaned into her. The kiss surprised the blonde, and all Scribbs could do was tense up. Yet there was passion in the kiss, even if Scribbs didn't respond at first. Gradually, that finger inside her stomach poked at her, prompting her to move in response. Just as she moved her hand up to try and touch Ash's cheek and to kiss her back, the brunette moved away. "Go on," she prompted again, and then walked to the kitchen.

Scribbs watched her go and swallowed. She forced herself to walk in to her room and grab clothes for the shower. As the spray of water hit her neck and shoulders, she couldn't help but think about the kiss, and the small stirring inside her that accompanied the thoughts. She remembered Ash's look from the night before. Oh, to love somebody that much, but to be on the receiving end of such emotion?

Scribbs had never gotten looks like that from men. Not that deep, anyway, and not if there wasn't a hint of lust with it. And even if Scribbs didn't get a chance to return it, there was a story there in Ash's kiss, she could feel it. Had she not stiffened up, she may have known what it was that Ash refused to or just could not say. But what did it all mean? Did Scribbs wish to go back to Ash and return the kiss just so she could find out her secrets? Scribbs knew she had to get used to the feel of Ash's lips on hers. She was, after all, Ash's wife.

Scribbs could smell the tea as she got into her clothes and brushed out her hair. Then she went out to the dining room where Ash was attempting to open the jar of jam. Scribbs didn't offer any help; it would have only insulted Ash and implied that she was weak, and no matter how true it may have been at the moment, she didn't want to go there. The blonde waited until her partner handed her the jar, and even she took a couple of tries before she was able to pop it open. She watched as Ash spread jam over her toast, and when the toaster popped again, she got to it first. As Scribbs got margarine on her toast and sat down, she found she couldn't meet Ash's eyes as she ate, and she felt them on her often. She hurried to eat her toast and then got up.

"I'll see you tonight," Scribbs said, shrugging into her coat. She opened the door and hurried towards her car.

Scribbs waved and got into the car before she drove off. She was in a daze as she made her way into work. She wasn't sure why, she just couldn't get over the kiss. It wasn't as if she'd never been kissed by a woman before, but Ash was the only woman she'd initiated a kiss to. It wasn't something she'd expected herself to enjoy.

Scribbs was still thinking about this as she walked towards her desk. She got a smirk from some bloke in the Theft Department. They may have dated once, although she couldn't quite remember when. As Scribbs got closer to her desk, she saw Sullivan speaking to a DI.

"Good morning, Mrs. Ashurst," Scribbs heard behind her. The words caught both Sullivan and Scribbs' attention.

Before she could retort, Sullivan spoke up. "Who said that?"

It went kind of quiet, but Scribbs recognized a colleague of hers, DS Staiff raise her hand.

"I did, Sir."

"Due to the nature and sensitivity of the situation, I would like you-" he looked up at those also in the area around them, "-and everyone else here to not make comments like that. If I hear anything like this again, I will suspend you for three days. I assume you all will spread the word?" Sullivan asked, and everyone nodded or murmured in response.

"Good. Scribbs, come with me, please?"

"Yes, Boss," she said in a low voice and followed behind him, avoiding everyone's eye and trying not to show emotion from being put on the spot.

As soon as she entered Sullivan's office and the door closed behind her, the tall man turned to look at her with a smile. "Of course, all that I just said doesn't apply to me, Mrs. Ashurst."

"That's Scribbins-Ashurst. We're hyphenated. You should know, you put it on the phony marriage license."

Sullivan's face broke out into another smile, before he became serious again. "So, how was that first night home?"

"It was pretty uneventful, but I'm getting the feeling that something's wrong."

"Did she say anything? Sullivan asked, leaning against his desk. Scribbs brought her left hand to her right and began to fidget with her ring.

"No, it's just a feeling I got. She's still my best friend. Hopefully, I can still tell if something's wrong."

"No one's judging," Sullivan told the blonde.

"I know, but she kissed me this morning. Just a 'good morning' sort of kiss, but…" Scribbs trailed off, embarrassed.

"Look, I'm sure her memory will return before anything more can come of this," Sullivan said, but Scribbs' look said the one thing they both couldn't bring themselves to discuss. 'But what if you're wrong?'

Scribbs took the long way home, trying to wind down from her thoughts so that she could be calmer around Ash. She hated that she had to prepare herself to be with her partner. She thought, though she didn't know why, that this marriage thing would be easier. Why hadn't she thought about the intimacy between herself and Ash?

Scribbs saw from the car-park that her flat was dark. 'Ash must be in bed,' Scribbs thought to herself as she got inside the building. When she turned the key and entered the flat, however, she saw Ash on the couch, fully dressed up, her hair up, and her arms crossed over her chest. For a split moment, Scribbs felt relieved until Ash's eyes turned in her direction and she knew right away that the tension in Ash's shoulders and the impatient taps on the floor were caused by her. She then knew that she was in trouble, that perhaps her partner had begun to remember everything.

"I want to ask you something, I need to know the complete truth," Ash said, and Scribbs nodded.

"Anything," Scribbs replied steeling herself for the 'what the hell is going on' that was sure to come.

Ash took in a deep breath and seemed, too, to prepare herself for what she was about to ask. "Emma, are you having an affair?"

"Huh?"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Both Ash and Scribbs stood in a small silence lasting all of maybe seven seconds. Scribbs hadn't expected Ash to ask her anything about cheating. She'd expected for the brunette to wonder what was happening, why her things were in Scribbs' flat, or even about their friendship, how it would change from there (to which Scribbs would tell her that it wouldn't).

Ash, on the other hand, started to wonder if she'd been silly in thinking that Scribbs was cheating on her. She looked at her wife and watched her confused face. She'd expected Scribbs to frown and deny Ash's accusation right away, but she hadn't, and this took some of the wind out of her sails. Still, there had been the phone calls, and this prompted Ash to ask again, "Are you having an affair?"

There, the slight scowl she'd been waiting for was there. "Kate, I would never cheat on you."

"I think you're lying," Ash said simply. "Who's Jesse? He called for you this afternoon."

"Jesse's the reporter, Kate. Don't you remember? He's always trying to get me for information on cases," Scribbs explained. "I haven't spoken to him in almost a year now." As Scribbs spoke, images of a dark man entered her mind, just as they had when he'd called. These images were just as confusing as before. Apperently, she did remember, but why was Ash pushing her wife towards this man instead of letting her jealousy get the better of her like she used to?"

"Okay," Ash said, her tone softer, yet still a little bit icy, "Okay, I do remember him," she admitted. "Who is Dunn, then?"

At his name, Scribbs froze. She couldn't help it. She'd forgotten all about him in the last week, but all she could think then was 'I hope he didn't say something stupid.' "Dunn's an ex-boyfriend. Before I became your wife," Scribbs answered carefully. Maybe a bit too carefully. Both women acknowledged the fact that Scribb wasn't lying, and in a small way, this was a relief to Ash. Still, something wasn't right about the whole thing. If she wasn't lying, the surely she wasn't telling the whole truth, either. Ash knew that.

"Then why would he call about a missed date?"

"Because he's delusional? Look Kate, there's nothing between us anymore, and I don't know why he'd call me now."

"I must have over estimated you, Emma. I thought you would come up with something a little bit better than that."

"Than what?" Scribbs asked, her voice gaining more volume. "The truth? What do you want me to say, Ash- Kate? That, yes, I did cheat on you with two different men, just like the slut you obviously think I am?"

"If it all fits-"

" 'If it all fits'," Scribbs cut in with a scoff, stuffing her hands into her pockets, "inside your margines and according to your rules, right?"

"Rules? What-"

"I may be a slut, but you should know by now that I'm a monogamous slut. But if the guillotine's coming down anyway, I may as well have cheated on you. What does it matter if we're not really married."

"How dare you," Ash said coldly, though her eyes blazed. "Is that how you really feel?"

"No Darling, I-"

"Our marriage license may not be recognized here, but you are my wife. It's true, I shouldn't have said that you're some kind of slut, but that was just cruel."

Scribbs reached out her hand as if to comfort Ash, but at the slightest movement the brunette moved away from her. "I know, and I'm sorry."

"Sorry? That's not-" Ash stopped talking for a moment when her voice broke and her eyes welled. "I can't talk right now." Ash turned quickly and went to the bedroom, closing the door with a little bit of force behind her. Scribbs flinched and walked to the couch, where she sat with her head in her hands.

A few minutes later, Scribbs heard what sounded like Ash blowing her nose, and felt like pond scum. She made Ash cry. No one makes Ash cry, and yet she had. Wasn't she, as her best friend, supposed to kick the arse of anyone who hurt her? How could she kick her own arse? She would if she physically could. No matter what Ash may have said first, this whole marriage thing was off limits as ammunition to get back at her. Any dunderhead knew that. "Except for this dunderhead," Scribbs mumbled angrily. She wanted to storm in the bedroom and apologize, to force Ash to let Scribbs hold her and try to make it right. It wouldn't work with her, though. It'd only make things worse.

As she spread out the blanket she'd used the night before, she tried to put herself in Ash's shoes, playing the whole week over as if Ash was caring for her after a fall and not the other way around. These thought only made her feel worse. If the one person outside of family she ever loved told Scribbs that they weren't married, her first translation of that would be 'so what, I don't love you', and Ash was right, it was a really cruel thing for her to say. Scribbs sighed angrily as she fell into a short fitfull sleep.

Ash's touch was soft, almost exploratory, and Scribbs woke up slightly confused. The confusion left right away as the brunette above her spoke. "I…"

"What do you need?" Scribbs asked, hoping to prompt Ash into speaking to her.

"I can't sleep another night without you by my side. First the hospital and then last night," she said, mostly in murmurs.

"I thought-"

Ash put her hand up in a small wave between them. "Yes I know, and I thank you for giving me the time and space I needed, but I need you now." Ash bent down and their lips met. This time Scribbs responded immediately, trying to prove that her words earlier held no meaning. She wasn't sure id Ash got the messege or not. The kiss ended on mutual grounds, each woman pilling away at the same time. Ash held out her hand and Scribbs took it, sighing when their fingers linked. Scribbs swallowed as she followed Ash silently to the bedroom and tried not to get nervous. She really shouldn't have been as nervous as she was. She'd shared a bed with Ash before and had in fact been almost eager to do so. Of course, then Scribbs was mostly teasing Ash with talk of the honeymoon suite because she could tell then the brunette wasn't too keen on the idea of sleeping over in an old folk's home to begin with.

It was silent as Scribbs put on her pajamas, looking every so often at Ash, who had her back to her. It was odd to see Ash on the right side of the bed after the small fuss she made about it in Birch Grove, but she shook it aside. If there was nothing else to be learned from this experience, it was that a lot of things have changed and will continue to do so.

Scribbs slowly slipped into bed next to Ash, being careful not to jostle the brunette too much. She thought Ash was asleep until the DI slowly turned over and cuddled into her, breaking every rule she ever had in Birch Grove. "We'll talk about this in the morning," Ash asked against the blonde's neck, and Scribbs hummed her response."

"Mm-hmm,"

"No matter what, Emma, I love you."

"Kate…"

"In the morning," Ash said almost dismissively.

"I never meant to hurt you-"

Scribbs," Ash said a little more solid, halting further movement from the blonde, "in the morning."

"Okay."

It fell silent between them as Ash's breathing slowed right away. The use of her nickname really started something in Scribbs' mind. She didn't know that she could get used to Ash calling her by her birth name and not her nick name. If Scribbs were honest with herself, calling her by her nickname after a week of calling her Emma felt like a small sting, as if Ash was trying to get even for the comment she'd made earlier, but would she really do that? Maybe not intentionally. At any rate, it got Scribbs' attention, but it felt odd to her for some reason.

Ash shifted a little bit, moving her injured arm with her. Being like this with Ash wasn't as hard as she thought it would be. She brushed a strand of hair from Ash's face and kissed her forehead before she settled in herself. She could do this, she thought to herself. She had to try harder to be Ash's wife for as long as it took. She promised she would, and she intended to keep it.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Tuesday

Ash felt a slight pain on her injured wrist and opened her eyes. Sometime during the night, she'd wrapped her arm around her lovely wife and the dangling limb had gone a little numb. She slowly slipped her hand from Scribbs' side, her fingers gliding along the skin and felt the blonde jerk a little bit. She wanted to do it again and watch her squirm a little bit more, but she didn't. She wanted to wake Scribbs up so that they could have their talk about the argument from the night before, but then she thought, 'what would that really do?' The blonde had said something really hurtfull, and it was obvious that she didn't mean it, but Ash's heart pounded. She had been piecing together evidence for almost fifteen years, but never had it been so complicated. She got the feeling that even if Scribbs told her everything and they were able to patch up their marriage, there would still be something missing. Her instincts would still tell her that though it felt truly right, everything was still wrong.

By god, she loved this woman. It was the one of the only things she truly knew upon waking up from her coma. Something was different with Scribbs, but Ash didn't know how to say what it was. As Scribbs' eyes slowly opened, Ash felt that pull towards her that would always be familiar to her. "Good morning," Scribbs said slowly, placing a hand on Ash's.

"Good morning," Ash replied.

"I'm sorry," Scribbs offered.

"I know," Ash told her wife as she sat up, "I'm sorry too."

Scribbs too sat up and said, "I know that the phone calls were a little suspitious, but I get the feeling that… That there's something more you're just not telling me, something that led you to believe I'd cheat on you.

Ash often forgot that Scribbs was also a detective, and a damned good one at that. "Its just… Ever since I woke up, you've been so- How should I say- Hesitant. Distant. At first, I just thought that I was being vulnerable and that the situation was so weird for us both, but then it continued." Ash stopped for a second, but Scribbs stayed silence, feeling that her friend had more to say, and she needed to hear it. "You would call me Ash instead of Kate, you never kissed me and barely returned the ones I initiated, you don't keep eye contact for very long, and not once have you said or returned an 'I love you'. And on top of that, you'd leave the hospital quickly, barely spending any time with me. When those two men called, I didn't know what else to think except that you're having an affair."

Finally, Scribbs spoke after she took in what Ash was telling her. "When all of the clues lead to one thing, how couldit be wrong?"

"Except in our profession, it _has_ been wrong," Ash added in, "on several occasions. I hoped…"

"I'm sorry I made you feel bad, Kate, but of all the men I've been with, not once have I cheated when I've considered them my boyfriend. It wouldn't have changed just because I'm with you."

Ash's eyes narrowed, then she asked, "If it isn't an affair, then what is it? Is it the fight we had before I fell? Did I say or do something-"

"There was no fight before the fall," Scribbs said gently.

"But…"

"Tell me," Scribbs coaxed, fearing Ash would clam up again.

"I remember right before the fall, I felt… I was talking to you, and then you said something, and I left. I felt hurt."

"Yes. I made plans with a friend you didn't like, forgetting that I'd first made plans with you. There was no fight," Scribbs said again, "You just walked away from me. I never meant to hurt you."

"Then why are you so distant from me?" Ash asked, turning so that she wouldn't have to look at Scribbs, or lose her resolve by looking at her wife at that moment.

Scribbs stared at Ash's back for a moment before she stood up and walked to the bedroom window. "Because you're right. It has been weird or me too. I've been trying to push through all of that because you need me. I'm supposed to help you through all of this because I know you'd do the same for me-"

"Oh, in a heartbeat."

"But everyday I keep wondering if you'll ever get your memories back to the way they were before you fell. There is so much that you need to remember, Kate, out relationship in its entirety- everything. Now, I know I'm supposed to be strong for you and everything, but the truth is, I'm scared. What if you don't remember the life we used to have? Our memories as they were?" Scribbs felt the sting of tears in her eyes, but she rfused to cry. Shuffing was heard and the blonde soon felt arms around her middle.

"Shh," Ash soothed. "That doesn't matter, Emma. We can make our own memories just like we did in the past. As long as I have you…" Scribbs turned in Ash's arms and though she already knew the brunette meant her words, the look in her eyes solidified them. The one spot inside Scribbs that had been stirring the last few days made itself known. She knew that if Scribbs asked her to, Ash would prove it to her, but the blonde already had any and all confirmation. Scribbs had never seen this intensely romantic side of ash before, even when she had first dated Alex the crybaby, though Scribbs had by now suspected that relationship was a front. "… the rest doesn't matter."

Scribbs saw Ash lean in for a kiss and she met her halfway. She felt again the passion Ash had for her, and she allowed it when Ash deepened the kiss. She tried to tell her chest to calm down, that it was just Ash, but she couldn't keep her breath at its normal rhythm. Ash ended the kiss, surprisingly, and Scribbs looked up. "And I do love you, Kate," Scribbs said, but her thoughts continued, 'Though not in th way you want me to.'

Ash smiled. "I love you too Darling."

"Are we okay now? No more… not talking?"

"We're fine now, I think," Ash said, letting go of the blonde.

"Good. I need to go shower," Scribbs said as she got her clothes and placed them on the bed, "unless you want to join me," she continued teasingly. Ash smirked as if to think about it, but she didn't say anything while Scribbs went into the bathroom. She stripped quickly, eager for the feel of the wayter on her skin. Though admittedly, it felt nice to sleep next to Ash again, the contact of two bodies left her feeling a little too warm, as it always did.

Scribbs sighed as the shower brought a slightly colder spray over her. She lifted her arms to allow the water to flow down the sides and on her underarms, taking a mental note that it was time to shave again, just not that morning. Looking at her calves and shins, she mumbled to herself that they needed attention too. Just then the door to the bathroom opened. "Ash?" she called instinctively. Scribbs got no response. She couldn't help the feeling that she was in a horror movie moment waiting to happen. She saw Ash's shadow on the wall just outside of the shower curtain before it was pulled back a little bit and her very naked partner stepped in. "A- er Kate, what-"

"I'd be mad to go out to the kitchen after a sexy blonde just invited me to shower with her," Ash said, her voice dropping to a tone Scribbs had only heard once before, only that time Ash was describing the tone a bloke had taken with her on a date once. Scribbs wonder briefly if that date had even happened.

"Oh," Scribbs said, cursing at herself when her voice shook a little bit in her nervousness.

"What's the matter?"

"N-Nothing, Scribbs replied a little too quickly. She took Ash's shoulders and switched places with her, pushing her into the spray.

"Emma!" Ash all but shrieked.

"Sorry, didn't want you to get cold," Scribbs offered lamely.

"Cold?! This water's freezing!"

"No it's not. It's just fine," the blonde protested. Ash didn't say anything and turned around to turn the shower nozzle to her preferred warmer temperature. Scribbs stared at her partner's back, her eyes moving down to her rear before looking away quickly, unable to believe that she'd just checked out her best friend, nor the fact that she could feel herself getting turned on by the sight. She couldn't stop herself from looking again, only this time something caught her eye that hadn't before, a patch of greenish skin at Ash's left side. Scribbs reached out and softly placed a couple of fingers on the bruise. Ash jumped at the contact and turned quickly.

"I'm sorry. I… I hadn't noticed that bruise there," Scribbs apologized.

"It's fine. It looks worse than it ever felt."

"Still…" Scribbs said slowly, noticing how Ash rested her right wrist on her stomach.

"Its fine," Ash repeated, this time being a little more insistent. Scribbs watched Ash's face for signs of anything unspoken and saw nothing. "Satisfied?" Ash asked. Trying not to blush, Scribbs nodded. "Good, now come a little closer. You're acting as if you've never seen me naked before.

"Scribbs wanted tp say that she hadn't, not completely like this. She'd seen her in her underwear many times when they'd go shopping, and even then Ash would get shy around her and tell her to turn around. This time, Ash freely exposed herself to Scribbs, and the blonde stood stupidly, staring at her and getting turned on. "You're… so beautiful," Scribbs finally said when she finally realized that Ash expected a response of some sort. Apperently, Scribbs had said the best thing possible, abeit numbly, because Ash smiled a shy though happy smile and took a step into Scribbs' space.

"I'm glad you think so," the brunette said, placing her left hand on Scribbs' hip. The blonde DS jumped this time with a squeak, but there was nowhere to move away to, and with how her lower anatomy was beginning to tingle, she wasn't sure if she really wanted to. Ash's hand remained on Scribbs' hip and with a small pressure, drew the blonde winto her. Scribbs became hyper-aware of their bodies sliding together as Ash leaned in to kiss her. Just when Scribbs was starting to get used to kissing Ash, the brunette changed things. Before, Ash's kisses were nice and slower, usually conveying something that Scribbs just wasn't picking up, but this new kiss was more familiar to her, as it was charged with lust. It was a lot easier to return this kiss because, though she didn't want to admit it, she felt the same way at the moment.

Scribbs could feel Ash's hands move across her lower back, onto her hips again, then down to her rear. Ash pulled her in again and Scribbs had to step forward a bit. The two women's chests touched, and Scribbs slid her hands under Ash's arms to grab the back of her shoulders. Ash arched her back a little bit and moaned. Scribbs felt a heat that had nothing to do with the near- scorching water that cascaded onto her arms and Ash's back. She didn't count the moments they stayed that way, with one of Ash's hands almost possessively on the blonde's rear while the other wrapped around her waist as they kissed. She was unaware of the air that drifted through the shower curtains, or the droplets of water that went out, creating a small puddle on the floor.

Suddenly, Scribbs felt the water get cold. Ash arched her back and broke the kiss. "Whoa shit!" she cried. She moved as quickly as she could out of the spray. That meant pushing Scribbs into the tiled walls, which wasn't much warmer. Ash quickly got out of the shower, her foot landing in the small puddle and slipping a little bit. She caught herself and grabbed for one the two towels. Scribbs reached out to turn off the water and then opened the shower curtain. Right away Ash held out her hand and Scribbs took it long enough to keep her balance, then took the towel Ash handed her. She saw the smirk on her partner's face.

After both detectives were out of the bathroom and a little more dry, Ash stood behind Scribbs and placed a kiss at the crook of her shoulder. "Where were we?" she asked, her voice low. Scribbs didn't need to turn around to know that her look would be a bit predatory.

"Mm, if we start up again, I'll be late for work."

"You're always late for work, even if we leave together." Ash said easily. Normally, there would have been a bit of scolding in those words, but this time it was just pure fact and nothing more.

"Yes, well…"

"Your skin is flushed. You may have the flu. Better stay home, just in case," Ash murmured into her ear. Scribbs was almost sold to the idea.

"And play hookie?"

"Why not?"

At this Scribbs turned to Ash's twinkling gaze. She could swear she had stepped into an alternate reality. Perhaps in her own world, she had been the one to fall, not Ash, and when she woke up, this was the result. "What about your rules?" Scribbs asked.

"You keep referring to these rules. I don't remember much about them, but I'll bet I broke half of my rules when I met you, and the other half when we started dating."

"Sweet talker, but seriously, we're going to have to finish this later."

"Oh, I plan to," Ash said as she reluctantly let go. Scribbs wasn't sure how she felt about that promise, but she watched as Ash went to their wardrobe and got out some of her clothes to wear as the DS began to dress in the clothes she picked out earlier. The blonde felt somewhat weird about dressing in the same room Ash was dressing, but they had already been frisky in the shower, so she knew that she would never feel weird in Ash's presence ever again.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

After Ash and Scribbs got dressed, the two made their own breakfasts; Ash opting for toast again, and Scribbs choosing a treat she hadn't had in a couple of months: a sugar puff drink. Surprisingly, the sight of the cereal got no response. Not even a grimace. Instead, just when Scribbs was about to put the lid on the blender, Ash put her hand in the way, then lifted it long enough to put in about a teaspoon of cinnamon. Scribbs stared at the added ingredient in disbelief. Had Ash really the gall to mess with the sugar puff drink? "Try it. I promise I didn't ruin it," Ash said.

"How would you know? You won't go near it," Scribbs replied, but she pressed the start button after replacing the lid. She watched the specks of brown mix with the pink and the blue. Once completely blended, Scribbs poured about half of it into a glass and took a tentative taste, aware that Ash was watching her closely.

The difference was noticeable right away. 'Ash just perfected the sugar puff drink. Until now, I thought that was impossible!' Scribbs thought, but instead she shrugged. "S'okay," she said nonchalantly.

Ash still grinned in that way that said she'd won. Although. the brunette's toast popped, so she didn't get a chance to gloat. The two then sat down together and silently enjoyed their meal.

After a moment, Ash spoke. "I've been thinking, yesterday was a nice rest, but I need to do something today. I did some hemming, but I finished far too quickly, and that was before… you know, the calls and such."

"Hemming?"

"Your brown jacket was ripped, so I fixed it for you. I remember how much you loved that jacket before you changed," Ash explained.

"Before I changed?" Scribbs asked again, feigning innocence. She wanted to test Ash's memory some.

"You know you did. I've always wanted to tell you that I liked the old Scribbs, but the new look seemed to make you happy, so I never did. You just seemed… more comfortable the other way."

"Oh," was all the blonde could say. "Thank you for mending my jacket. I do sort of miss wearing it."

"You're welcome."

"So, er- if you're so bored around here, what would you like to do today while I slave away at work?"

"You can still call in sick,"

"Not when I'm supposed to be there in half an hour," Scribbs replied, looking at the clock on the wall.

"Can't blame a girl for trying," Ash said lightly, then continued, "I don't know what I'll do, really. Run some errands, rearrange the furniture a bit. I like what you've done with the living room while I was away, but it doesn't feel right."

"Change it any way you like, but be careful of your arm; anything bigger than that lamp and I'll help you."

"Thank you, Sweetheart."

"Just do what feels right. You'll have to drive me into the station, then you can do whatever it is you need to do today."

Ash nodded and finished her toast.

Scribbs stood and went to her wardrobe, grabbing the brown jacket. She put it on and felt a little more confident, as she always did when she wore it. When she got back into the kitchen, Ash was shrugging into her own coat as she opened and closed her hand a couple of times. Though there was no sign of pain on the brunette' face, Scribbs still went to help her before going to get her pain medication, just in case. She knew now how well Ash could hide pain. She could only hope that Ash really felt better.

"Is everything alright?" Ash asked, her voice cutting into the blonde's thoughts before they could bring her mood down any further. Scribbs smiled.

"I was just about to ask you that," she said.

"I'm fine. My wrist is only sore, but it'll get better, I think."

"Good," Scribbs replied. She searched around for her keys only to see them dangling from Ash's index finger in front of her face a moment later. "Okay then, let's go." The two women left the flat, and right away she saw her elderly neighbor Ms. Joyce, who stared as they walked by hand in hand. They got to the car and Scribbs got in on the left side, something she wasn't used to doing.

Ash made small chatter as they went along, commenting on the weather, and Scribbs followed along. When they got towards the police station, Ash fell quiet; they'd pulled up almost right next to where she had fallen.

"Give my mobile a ring later and I'll come get you," Ash said as Scribbs opened the door. She quickly leaned back and kissed the brunette, who looked pleasantly surprised by it.

"See you tonight," Scribbs said before leaning in to add, "I love you."

"I love you too," Ash returned. Scribbs closed the car door. She went up two of the stairs and saw Sullivan there at the top, waving at Ash. When Scribbs turned, she saw Ash waving back, obviously happy to see him, and the slight nervousness Scribbs usually saw was gone. What Scribbs had just witnessed was a greeting between two fairly good friends. There was no sexual tension there at all.

At the top of the stairs, Sullivan said with a smirk, "I saw that."

"Yeah? You and everyone else."

"So, things working out okay?"

"Sort of, we had our first row as a married couple, but we worked through it this morning." An image of their morning activity flashed in her mind, and she immediately turned red. She saw a couple of people giving her a strange look, which meant that those who didn't know about Ash's fall the day before certainly knew now. Those looks saved her though, as Sullivan seemed to dare someone to say something, and this gave her face some time to return to normal coloring.

Once they reached Scribbs' desk, Sullivan said, "I'm not sure what to do with you today, Scribbs. I'll give you a choice. DI Mathews' partner is on maternity leave, so you could accompany him on his inquiries or- and I hate to ask you this- but you could stay here and help me with… um, with the paperwork, since I'm buried and can't get to it." Sullivan looked apologetic, as if Scribbs might explode for being used as a secretary, but she actually didn't mind. She didn't want to go anywhere with DI Mathews. It would've been awkward.

Scribbs and DI Mathews had dated once, a long time ago before he'd been promoted. Things were fine at first. He was a nice, handsome funny bloke, but he was crap in bed. Scribbs was willing to go without. It didn't really matter to her at the time, but his pride had been wounded and he wouldn't let it go. They'd kept trying different things, but no matter what it was, they just couldn't seem to get excited for each other, and they broke up after about two months.

Of course, Scribbs wasn't about to share that information with her boss, so she gave him the second truthful answer. "I'll stay here. I don't think I want to go on any inquiries without Ash. I'll want to be in a place where I can answer the phone if she calls and needs me." Scribbs said, and Sullivan nodded. "Besides, I offered to help you yesterday."

"At the time, I thought I'd have the time to get it all done, but then we moved Ash's stuff, and I was too tired to do anything else come ten o'clock," muttered her boss, still sounding sheepish.

"No problem. I'm starting to sound like David." Scribbs said. Sullivan smiled, and Scribbs turned on her computer. Sullivan left and came back with two thick folders.

"I just need the white sheets typed. All the others, the yellow and pink, can stay. This folder on top is the most urgent, but I think it can wait until Friday at the latest." Sullivan said, setting both folders next to her.

"I'm on it," Scribbs said, opening the folder on top as well as the computer program used to input case information. It was the same program she's used the day before, only this time she typed in Sullivan's name and passcode, written on a sticky note instead of her own, and got to work.

"Thank you Scribbs," Sullivan said and then left her to get her tasks done.

Scribbs' mind began to wander soon after eleven o'clock. She couldn't stop it any longer. She wondered, if the accident had never happened, if Ash would have ever come out to her or to anyone. But then, as if the future was more important than the past, she started wondering what Ash was doing that day, what errands she was running at the moment and if her wrist would be able to stay good for them. What exactly did Ash feel she needed done before she felt Scribbs' flat 'felt right'?

As if summoned by Scribbs' thoughts , Scribbs' mobile phone went off and she saw Ash's number. "Yeah, Love," she answered.

"Hey, Beautiful, I'm just outside of my bank. Do we not have a joint account?" Ash asked.

"No, we still use our own accounts," Scribbs said. There was a slight pause.

"We don't?"

"No, Sweetheart," Scribbs repeated. When she got some odd looks, she spun in her chair so her back was to the majority of the people in the office at that time, and stared at the wall.

"Oh."

"I can give you any information you might need to create one. We just… never got around to it."

"You won't mind if I create a joint account today?"

"Not at all, let me just move to a spot with more privacy."

"Alright," Ash said. "How's work?"

"Boring without you."

"No one there for you to annoy?"

"No one here who would put up with it the way you can," Scribbs replied as she left the office areas and walked outside. She walked around the building to where she saw the small garden and bench. She sat down on the bench and said, "Alright. What information do you need?"

Ash quizzed her on her information, some of which she should have already known, and Scribbs rattled off the answers off the top of her head the best she could. When Ash seemed satisfied, she told Scribbs that she'd have to come with her to finish the application process, to which Scribbs agreed.

Eventually, Ash started to bring the call to a close. "I've got to get back inside, it's a little cold out here at the moment. When we get back home, I've got a surprise for you." Ash said.

Scribbs' eyebrows rose. "Oh, really?"

"Nothing frilly or anything like that," Ash said a little quickly, and Scribbs could almost see her roll her eyes. "You'll see later tonight,"

"Well, okay then," Scribbs said, "I'll ring you 'round three or four."

"I love you."

"I love you too." Scribbs replied. The two women hung up at the same time and Scribbs made her way back to her desk, where her mind began to wander again. She couldn't help but to be curious about Ash's surprise. Her partner was right about Scribbs thinking the surprise involved something frilly. If it wasn't anything like that, then what was it? Had Ash rearranged the furniture already? That wouldn't actually have surprised Scribbs, as she'd been expecting it even before Ash ever mentioned it. Still, it would be interesting to see what 'their' flat looked like in Ash's mind.

This thought lead Scribbs to wonder what other things Ash might be used to, or what else may have been changed in Ash's mind. The blonde looked down at her desk, then twisted around to look at her mended brown jacket and smiled when a thought came to her. Ash would be getting a surprise of her own when she got home as well.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

When Sullivan came back from a meeting three hours later, he walked past Scribbs' desk and did a double take. The blonde in the DS' place giggled as Sullivan stared at her. For him, it was like taking a pleasant stroll down memory lane. Now all he needed was for Ash to walk in with one of her rants and raves about… well something. "Scribbs, you look… Well, it's nice to see you again," Sullivan managed to spit out.

"Thank you," Scribbs replied, running her hand through her now shortened hair. She'd snuck away during her lunch break and had gone back to the place where she used to have her hair cut, and been surprised to find her favorite stylist was still there. It seemed all the talk of going to Hollywood to be the hair dresser to the stars had come to nothing. Despite Scribbs' long absence she had none the less received a warm welcome from the people there, which had surprised and pleased her.

Now that she had her hair style from a few years ago to accompany the brown jacket, she had to admit that she'd missed 'old Scribbs' as much as Ash must have. Though Scribbs had initially had the haircut for Ash's sake because she felt her partner was used to that look, Scribbs had also done it for herself. She hadn't realized until that morning just how different she had been from her old self. Thinking back, now, she knew the reason for the initial change: men. It was simple, really; men were somewhat less intimidated by her more feminine look than the- dare she think it- butch look. Right before she was due for another hair cut three years ago, she'd noticed that the guys she dated were nicer to be around. But though she got better responses from men, Ash was right when she said that Scribbs was naturally more comfortable this way. Somewhere down the line, she had become insecure about her looks, and Scribbs didn't like that aspect of her new self. This way, she was always self confident and sure that she looked good.

Scribbs walked through the rest of the afternoon with a smile on her face, as every few minutes she'd be complimented with statements identical to Sullivan's. She was surprised by how many people appeared to have missed 'old Scribbs' as well. She was about halfway through the second file before she decided to call it a day. She'd typed Sullivan's most urgent files, and she was proud of that. Perhaps she'd leave a little early the next day.

Scribbs took out her mobile phone and called Ash. "Hello Beautiful," Ash greeted first thing. "Are you ready for me to come get you?"

"Yeah. You're pretty scary when you get this cheerful," Scribbs commented, "Should I be expecting something weird when I get home?"

"Nothing weird, I told you that. I'm just… I'm happy, that's all," Ash said, and Scribbs heard a little bit of defensiveness in her partner's voice.

"Alright. I'm glad you're happy. You must be pain free, I take it?"

"A little sore, but manageable," Ash told her, which was the same answer as earlier. Scribbs made a note of that. She hated feeling as if she had to watch the brunette's every move just to make sure there wasn't a hidden statement or something not being said. She didn't want anymore surprises. She knew that there was at least one (well, other than the surprise Ash had for her a little later), but she hoped that was it.

"Good," Scribbs said finally.

"I'll be there in a few,"

"Okay, Darling."

With that, the two hung up, and Scribbs wondered again what Ash's surprise was, deciding that it wouldn't be a bad thing. Scribbs shrugged into her jacket and sighed, glad that the day was over. She felt the wind in her now short hair, and it felt odd, yet wonderful.

A few minutes later, Scribbs felt she would have paid a thousand times more than she had for the haircut just to get Ash's reaction to it. The brunette's eyebrows rose up high, and then a smile crept up on her face. Scribbs was surprised by the naughty look she received. It clearly said, 'I'll get you eventually.' As Scribbs got into the passenger seat, Ash said, "You look… really good."

Scribbs grinned and looked away. "Thank you," she said as Ash pulled away from the curb. Then she asked, "So, how did all your errands go?"

"I actually didn't get around to doing too many. Most of it was rearranging the furniture and getting the joint account," Ash said as she drove them along the roads to the part of town with the shops. The brunette didn't speak for a couple of minutes and Scribbs didn't know what to say at the moment as she watched where they were headed, which wasn't the direction of her flat. After a couple more minutes, Ash parked the car in front of Callie's Small Pet Shop, and her blonde partner turned to her, confused.

"Why are we here?" Scribbs asked.

Ash turned her body so that she too was facing her partner. "I wanted to talk to you about that."

"Okay…" Scribbs replied, unsure if she wanted to go into another deep discussion with Ash so soon.

"I don't know if we spoke about this before I fell, but… Well, ever since I've gotten home, it hasn't felt right there, and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why. I could rearrange furniture until my back tore, but it wouldn't have helped. It wasn't until I'd gone to the bank that I understood why that was." Ash looked away for a second and then met Scribbs' eyes, as if she wasn't sure she even wanted to bring this up.

Scribbs placed her hand in Ash's hoping Ash would find the courage to continue. The brunette sighed. "Except for the marriage license and a couple of pictures around the flat- that I don't even remember taking- nothing is ours. I mean, we're in a flat that you'd originally moved into, and we sleep in a bed that was originally mine, but looking around, I noticed that we never went out and bought anything together."

"And… you'd like to pick out a pet together?" Scribbs questioned. She wanted to say that a pet was a lot of commitment, but she couldn't, not to the woman she claimed to be married to.

In response, Ash nodded. "I know we both don't like dogs, and I'm not very fond of cats."

"And I don't like rodents, and I doubt you'd appreciate a reptile in the house. I really don't think we're pet people, Kate."

"I've thought about that, and I think we'd be okay getting a fish together. It'd be a simple pet to care for, and they're decorative. It would be a little more meaningful than simply getting curtains."

"I have no problems with getting a fish," Scribbs said thoughtfully, and Ash smiled. The blonde had thought that if anyone in the relationship sprung for getting a pet, it would have been her, but apparently, she was wrong.

As the brunette leaned in to kiss Scribbs' cheek, she said, "I'd think not, seeing as I'll end up taking care of it, anyway."

Opening the door, Scribbs replied, "I'd protest if it weren't true."

Hand in hand, the two women walked into the pet shop, where they were instantly greeted by chirps and squeaks from many birds in cages in front of them. Scribbs looked further into the shop where she saw a young woman sweeping by the rodent cages. The young woman greeted them and pointed to the far left of the shop when they asked about the location of the fish.

There wasn't a large selection of fish to begin with, mostly goldfish and an assortment of fresh water fish, but nothing really seemed to catch their attention. Ash walked by the small table with six small beta fish in small containers stacked as a pyramid. "Look at these guys," Ash said, and Scribbs followed her to get a better look. On the table next to the betas was a small page describing what the fish were and how to best care for them. Scribbs stared at a couple of them and saw right away their appeal. They had beautiful coloring. Two of the betas were dark blue, while one was red and the rest had a range of pinks to them. The blonde looked closely at the slip of paper. "Kate, the paper says that we need a small fish bowl or container to keep it in."

"Like a vase or something."

"Yes, but you forget that I'll be there, too. Knowing me, I'd trip on myself and knock over the bowl and end up killing the little guy."

"I don't think it would be anything like that," Ash said, but there was a smirk there, and Scribbs didn't believe her.

"Is this the type of fish you'd like to get then?" Scribbs asked.

"Well…" Ash looked hesitant. "I don't know. Do you like these?"

"Yeah, I like them. Decorative, too, just like you said. I'll tell you what, you pick out the color and I'll name it. That way we got him together."

"Why do I get the feeling that I'll regret saying yes?"

"Because you will," Scribbs replied. Ash made a face that included her scrunching her nose at her wife. The blonde only grinned.

"Well in that case, I really like this blue one here with the bit of black."

"And his name will be Upy," Scribbs decided, seemingly without thought. She laughed at the high eyebrows her partner was giving her.

"Upy? What kind of name is that? I'd understand if you ended up calling him Dory."

"Every kid with a blue fish is going to want to call it Dory. Besides, I think we've already decided that he's male and I didn't want to emasculate him."

"But why Upy of all names?"

"Because that is what it looks like he's saying everytime he opens his mouth."

"I… really should have seen that answer coming," Ash said, more to herself than to the blonde beside her. "Alright then."

The two women told the young clerk what they wanted, and she was kind about helping them find the right food and habitat in which Upy would live. They chose to get a ten gallon tank with a filter as well as a lot of rocks for the bottom. Then the detectives paid for it all and got back to the car and drove home.

A few silent minutes later, Ash said, "Thank you for doing this for me." She looked briefly at her wife and saw how young Scribbs looked with the haircut, jacket, and now Upy in her lap.

"You should feel comfortable and happy in your own home," Scribbs said, her gaze going out the window.

"This is true."

"I hope this helps," Scribbs said as the car reached a stop light. The blonde placed a hand on Ash's knee, and looked form the window to her partner's eyes briefly, then she removed her hand when she saw that the light had changed.

"I hope so, too.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Scribbs and Ash discussed for a couple of minutes where Upy would've or should've been placed before they both decided that he'd look good on top of Scribbs' smaller bookshelves next to where she'd put the marriage license David had made for them. It was the only place where he'd add to the décor and be in a spot where it would be easy to access it when they needed to feed him. While they admired Upy for a moment, Scribbs shrugged out of her jacket as Ash stood behind her, her arms slipping around the blonde's middle.

"How's your wrist?" Scribbs asked Ash.

"It's been fine all day," Ash murmured in her ear.

"Splendid."

Ash sighed, breathing in her wife's scent, and buried her nose in her short hair before placing a kiss on her neck. "Mm, I love you haircut, honey," Ash said.

"Glad you approve," Scribbs replied, leaning back into her partner and tilting her head to offer more of her neck before she realized what she was doing. Ash placed another kiss on the flesh she'd been given access to, and Scribbs let out a sigh herself. She felt the flutter on her pulse point, as well as the fingers on her stomach as Ash's hand slipped under her shirt. Scribbs turned within Ash's light hold so that they were face to face.

Their lips crashed together, Scribbs' hands locking together behind the brunette's head before her arms hung over Ash's shoulders. Ash's hand continued to move under the blonde's shirt and the light touches on Scribbs' back tickled, causing her to arch into her partner more. There was no denying how good Ash's touch felt, how good she felt in Ash's arms that morning. She hadn't felt that in a long time, she knew, but she couldn't quite remember which one of her ex boyfriends had ever made her feel that way, that loved, that safe.

Ash's hands moved upwards and Scribbs felt her lungs fill quickly when the hand worked at unhooking her bra. Ash pulled away long enough to look at the blonde DS. Her eyes burned into Scribbs, blazing in a way so unlike the night before when Ash had been angry. "Let me take you to bed, Darling," she said, her voice low.

Scribbs let herself catch her breath. "Yes."

Ash took a few steps backwards, slowly guiding them to the bedroom. At one point, she backed into one of the walls and the two women broke apart, although reluctantly. Ash took Scribbs' hand and together they briskly walked down the small hallway into the bedroom. Scribbs' mind and heart raced, both with the excitement and nervousness. This would be the first time Scribbs did more than kiss a woman, and she'd be doing it sober. She could feel that need to be with Ash in that way, but she was still scared. This could be the one thing that would clue Ash in to what was reality and what were her own daydreams. If Scribbs didn't 'measure up', Ash would know something was wrong.

Ash's calves touched the mattress as she turned around and kissed Scribbs quickly. Then she lifted the blonde's shirt and watched as the bra slipped from her shoulders, having been unhooked moments before. The brunette's arms went around Scribbs' bare middle, Ash gently pushing the blonde back onto the bed. Scribbs, however, lost her balance. They fell together, Scribbs letting out what sounded like 'yeep!' Ash giggled and then continued to feel her wife's skin. Lips met Scribbs' chest, and Ash's kisses fluttered lower until her mouth surrounded the blonde's left breast. A moment later, Ash's good hand traveled down under Scribbs' underwear, her fingers slipping through the slit between the blonde's legs.

"It's been a while, hasn't it? Two weeks since I touched you last?" Ash wondered as the feel of Scribbs coated her fingers.

"Longer," Scribbs murmured back.

"I can tell, Love, but something's different."

"Hm, different?" Scribbs could hardly think. All she knew was that Ash's finger dare not stop. She tried to keep up with this conversation, though her breathing picked up in its rhythm.

"This… Touching you feels different. Not bad. Not at all, but… it's as if the images in my mind these two weeks are nothing compared to the connection I feel right now." Ash's finger moved a little faster as she leaned in to kiss Scribbs. "It feels new to."

"It's new to me too," Scribbs confessed, knowing her partner wouldn't know exactly what she meant. As her climax came, she wanted to call out her partner's name, not the name she'd been known as the last few days since she'd been awake, but the name she'd used for the brunette over the last six years. She wanted to cry out "ASH!", but she didn't, instead she called, "Kate!" It somehow felt fake even though she was calling out the same woman's name.

Scribbs caught her breath a little bit, only to be left breathless again when their lips met once more. As their kisses turned playful, Scribbs took all of two seconds to debate her next move. Taking Ash completely by surprise, Scribbs rolled over on top of Ash. Ash struggled halfheartedly, as if for show, but stopped when she saw the look on Scribbs' face. The DI wondered what would make her wife look as if she was preparing herself for something. Her thoughts dissolved when Scribbs sat all the way up, but left her hands on Ash's chest. She moved her hands slowly up and down from the shoulders to the clavicle. When Scribbs got a little bolder, she allowed her hands to move lower, rubbing over Ash's breasts and then the brunette's stomach. The blonde's fingers snuck under Ash's shirt a few times to feel the smooth skin beneath and then went back up towards the shoulders.

Ash lay under her wife, wondering what had happened to the seductive and confident woman she'd married. 'She seems almost scared to touch me. Is she afraid she'll hurt me because of my fall? Doesn't she know that her touch could only heal me? Their eyes then met, and not knowing why exactly, Ash nodded. Scribbs swallowed, and her hands left the brunette's chest long enough to undo the top button on Ash's shirt, then another until it was open and at her sides on the bed. Scribbs' eyes took in the sight of her new lover in a way she wouldn't let herself in the shower that morning. Ash had a beautiful slim frame, which on many occasions had been mistaken for fragile, even by her. Over the years she'd learned better, but though she knew Ash's exterior could take quite the thrashing, she began to wonder about the brunette's interior, her heart.

Scribbs' eyes followed her hands down towards her own thighs where Ash's skin seemed to end, and she shifted on all fours and began to move backwards. It amazed the blonde when Ash made no attempts to stop her, nor did she even ask questions. She trusted Scribbs in the way she couldn't before. There were no walls up now for either woman, and as Scribbs helped Ash out of her jeans, she felt her nervousness grow. The brunette's hips lifted to assist Scribbs and the blonde noticed the bruise that'd caught her attention that morning in the shower. After the jeans were tossed somewhat carelessly to the side, Scribbs kissed that bruise. There was a small, mostly healed cut on Ash's shin, and Scribbs ran her hands over the brunette's hips and thighs, down her knees to her shins. Her fingers brushed lightly over the cut, and then wrapped around that calf. Scribbs felt the muscle there twitch. Perhaps her touch tickled, but she didn't test that theory.

Scribbs' eyes roamed upwards, to Ash's stomach and chest. As if reading her mind, Ash sat up a bit to remove her bra. Scribbs massaged the shoulders where the straps had been, before her hands explored the skin around and on Ash's chest, watching as the brunette's nipples hardened. Scribbs saw Ash's pale skin flush and found it beautiful. As she leaned back and hooked her fingers in Ash's underwear, Ash moved her long legs out and Scribbs wasn't sure what she wanted to do from there. She'd seen porn. A lot of it, but she'd also seen a lot of ER. It didn't make her an expert in lesbian sex or open heart surgery.

Scribbs had felt good when Ash's fingers touched her. She let herself settle at Ash's side at the same time her fingers entered Ash. The brunette's eyes closed, and she took in a deep breath. As their rhythm increased, Scribbs knew Ash was being a quiet lover, and though she didn't want it, she'd expected it. "Don't hold back, Kate. This is me. You trust me, and I trust you. We don't share curtains, but we have this. This is ours, Kate."

A few moments later Ash cried out Scribbs' name and the blonde let out a sigh, thinking that all those other people who had ever dare pass Ash by were stupid. How could they have not seen the strength and beauty Ash possessed? At the twinge of jealousy at the thought of someone else noticing this in her partner, she felt it all click into place for her. 'Is this what it means to fall in love with you, Ash?' she thought to herself as she settled into the brunette and let Ash hold her in an embrace. When a few moments later Ash's stroking hand moved downward and grabbed at her rear, Scribbs said, "I never knew before now, how much you seem to like my arse."

Ash shrugged and said shamelessly, "It's a fine arse." She gave the said body part a squeeze and the blonde squeaked. The two women's giggles could be heard as they wrestled, which initiated another round of love making.

Later, as Scribbs held Ash close and gently scribed circles on her wife's stomach, she wondered, 'If I fell for Ash, would it be such a bad thing? Would it make me gay? What would it really matter if we could be happy this way?'.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Thursday

Scribbs awoke the next morning breathing in deeply. She looked at Ash and couldn't stop the warm smile on her face. She knew then what Ash must have felt for her those six years, and wondered if she too, maybe to a degree, had always felt this way for Ash. She remembered Birch Grove, and she remembered reaching out for her partner in the middle of the night. She'd been more than half asleep then, but she'd wanted to hold her so much. When she had realized that Ash was no longer with her, it'd forced her to wake up. Scribbs used her shoulder to lift her head above her wife's sleeping form long enough to see her alarm clock. When she saw that she still had over a half an hour, she settled in again, leaning in to kiss Ash on the forehead.

The brunette's eyes opened a little bit. "Good morning," she said, her voice thick with sleep.

"Morning," Scribbs replied. Ash leaned in for a kiss. Scribbs was aware of the desperate need to brush her teeth, but she kissed her wife anyway. "I love you," the blonde said softly, and then kissed her again.

The two detectives continued their languid snuggling for the remainder of Scribbs' half hour before the alarm clock went off. Ash twisted her body to turn it off. "Well, there's that," Scribbs muttered as she slowly got out of bed.

"I'd join you, Love, but I'm too comfy here," Ash said.

"Rub it in," the blonde replied good naturedly. She stretched before she realized she was still nude and was in fact giving Ash a good show of her body. After what they'd shared the night before, Scribbs seemed unconcerned by this, and even gave her rear a little shake as she made her way over to get her clothes for the shower. She could feel Ash's eyes on her as she got to the bathroom and started the water.

Scribbs' thoughts were light and carefree, and she let the song in her head take hold of her. She didn't sing, though she couldn't help but want to. As she got out of the shower a few minutes later, having shaved her legs and underarms, she looked at herself in the mirror only to see a sight that made her eyes widen. Right on a very visible part of her neck was a red dot about the diameter of a centimeter. She looked through her make up kits for her concealer, knowing that even if there was makeup over it, someone would still see it up close.

Scribbs hurried through getting her clothes on, and then went to Ash's side. She sat on the bed and leaned in to kiss her wife, pulling away a moment later when Ash's hand traveled up her shirt. "Are you sure you want to go off to work? This bed is oh, so warm and the blankets are soft and… I'm still quite naked." Only then could Scribbs sympathize with the men in Greek mythology who crashed to the rocks because of the Sirens' call. Ash could see that she almost had the blonde hooked to the idea, and pouted somewhat when Scribbs stood up.

"Evil tease," Scribbs said fondly. "I'd give anything to stay with you, but unlike you, I don't have many leave days left, so I've gotta go in." She continued, "Besides, one of us needs to keep Sullivan on his toes."

Ash appeared to be considering this. "Alright," she finally said, taking the covering off of her body, "but I'm not going to make it easy for you." The brunette grinned when Scribbs' eyes roamed her body with a flush of desire on her neck. The blonde swallowed.

"I can be late," she said, crawling over Ash's body and putting the blanket over the both of them. "If I was on time someone might worry." Ash laughed at this, but it broke into a moan as Scribbs took revenge on her for the hickey on her neck.

"You're late," Sullivan stated, dipping a tea bag in and out of the mug in his hands.

"Yes- Sorry, there was this… thing… with Ash."

"Is everything alright?" Sullivan asked with a hint of concern and alarm in his voice.

"Yes, she's fine. It was just a… uh… thing." Scribbs finished lamely. Sullivan stared at her for a second, his eyes flickering to Scribbs' neck and then away. In that moment, the blonde knew that her boss knew.

"Right, yeah, a thing… well… please be on time tomorrow. DI Phillips and I've been waiting for you. I want you to accompany him on an inquiry. His partner called in so he could stay with his son who's got a cold," Sullivan explained. Scribbs nodded with a small blush on her cheeks. She went to find DI Phillips, which wasn't too hard, as he was sitting at her desk waiting for her. They left after a nod of acknowledgement.

"Your wife do that?" DI Phillips asked once they got into his car. He gestured to his own neck, and Scribbs shrugged. "Needs more makeup," he commented before unlocking the door for the both of them and getting in on the right. Scribbs, being used to driving, tried her best to stay quiet the rest of the way, as DI Phillips made her seem like a safe driver.

The inquiry wasn't very long, twenty-five minutes at the most. The woman they were questioning about the disappearance of her teenaged daughter was changing her story often, and the DI, not having much patience for it, left to the car early on. She got back to the station after giving her notes to DI Phillips. When she got to her desk, she turned her mobile phone back on to find that she had two messages. Looking at her call log, she saw that both Ash and Chelsea, her sister, had called. Chelsea had called first. Her sister never called unless it was her birthday, and, as it wasn't her birthday, as far as she knew, Scribbs hoped there hadn't been an emergency at the moment she had tried to get a hold of her.

She called her sister. Two rings in, Chelsea answered her phone. "So, you're Scribbins-Ashurst now," she said first thing. No hello, as was her way. "Mum's gonna be angry you didn't call to let her know that you'd eloped."

"I thought the point of eloping was to get married and not tell anyone," Scribbs responded, not answering the other bit.

"Well, you could've called afterwards."

"I would have, had we actually eloped."

"What'd you do, vow your love in front of a couple of friends in a union or something?"

"No, we never got married."

"But your friend Ash is your wife now," Chelsea stated in attempt to get the facts together.

"Yes, I mean… Yeah, she's my wife," Scribbs said.

"How?"

"It's a long story. One you'd probably know if you called me more than twice a year-"

"Hey, I don't see your name flashing on my mobile on a weekly basis, either," Chelsea countered. Scribbs rolled her eyes and let it go. They'd been through this argument more than Scribbs had ever recited any of Ash's rules. She didn't go into the fact that she'd tried to call once a week, but Chelsea never answered or returned her calls, so she had eventually given up trying.

"Well, the only way you'd know Ash and I are married is if you'd rang my home phone number."

"I tried to get to you there when you didn't pick up the mobile, and got Ash. That's how she answered it by the way, as the Scribbins-Ashurst residence. She sounds like she's doing well. I've only met her a couple of times, but I could almost swear that wasn't her." Chelsea said.

Scribbs shrugged, but her sister couldn't see it, so she said again, "Yeah." After a few seconds of silence, she asked, "So why are you ringing both my mobile and my home phone number to get a hold of me? Did something happen with you and… your new guy?" For the life of her, Scribbs couldn't think of Chelsea's boyfriend's name. She'd never met the man, but he sounded like he was a good match for her sister. He made her happy, which made Scribbs happy.

"No no, Kael's still my one and only. I wanted to check up on you. I kept thinking about you lately, and got this urge to call you. Now I know why. I also wanted to let you know that mum's changed her phone number again. I think she saw something on the telly that got her scared like last time."

"Okay, what is it?" Scribbs asked, grabbing a pen and a post it note to write on. After Chelsea rattled off the phone number, Scribbs said, "I wish she'd stop watching those shows. She knows that they only scare her."

"Eh, who knows what goes through her mind," her sister replied. "Hey, do you have the time to tell me the long story about you and Ash?"

"I don't, actually. I'm at work. If I ring you near the weekend, will you answer the phone?"

"If I can, yeah."

"Okay, I'll call you then and tell you what I can," Scribbs told her.

"Alright. Have a good day."

"I will. You too, bye."

"G'bye."

Scribbs ended the call and then was about to call Ash's mobile when her own phone went off with 'Ash' as the display. "Hello Beautiful," she greeted, and heard a small masculine laugh on the other end as a response.

"How flattering, but I doubt your wife would appreciate you flirting with another man," David said.

"Hi, David."

"I'm calling because I've got Katie here hostage."

"Oh no!" Scribbs said, playing along. "Not my beautiful wife. I'll do whatever you want to get her back."

"The price is lunch. Yes, a picnic lunch at Britannia Park at twelve thirty." David's voice sounded more and more like the Wicked Witch of the West, and Scribbs could hear her wife's laughter in the background.

"But wait! How do I know that you haven't already tied her to the railroad tracks?" Scribbs asked. There was a slight shuffling sound and a small laugh right before she heard Ash's voice.

"I'm sorry Emma, he's-" she was cut off with more shuffling.

"ENOUGH! You know my price, and you know what you must do."

The line went dead after that, and Scribbs wondered what it must have been like for Ash to grow up with David in such a mood. Did she play along then or did it just annoy her.

About an hour later, David and Kate Ashurst walked in, and Ash was stopped a couple of times by well wishers before she made it to Scribbs' desk. She sat on the desk next to her, and the blonde looked up. Scribbs wanted to mention the many times Ash had frowned upon that, but she wouldn't have remembered. "Hey," she said instead. She could feel eyes on them as if people were expecting them to start making love right in front of them. Ash looked good, though, with her hair up in a ponytail and her fringes just about hiding her eyebrows. She wore the Coldplay T-Shirt she had gotten Scribbs for her most recent birthday. Scribbs had forgotten that she even had it. Other than the times Ash had been nude, this was the most casual Scribbs had ever seen her. She looked younger than Scribbs at the moment.

"How's your day been so far, kidnapping aside?" Scribbs asked.

"I'd still be in bed if David hadn't stopped by," Ash said, "Said he took a bus all this way just to annoy me. How thoughtful." David laughed and Ash scrunched her nose into a face that Scribbs couldn't help but laugh at as well. Scribbs watched as David went to Sullivan's office and struck up conversation with him as Ash took a hold of her hand.

A moment later, he came back and said, "You're free until two thirty, so let's go."

Scribbs stood up and followed Ash, who followed her brother outside to their car, where David got out two bags containing their picnic. Scribbs looked up at the sky. The clouds weren't yet dark enough to make rain, but she doubted that would last. Still, she liked the idea of a picnic. "We're going to walk to the park there by the school," Ash informed her when they started walking away from the car.

"Oh," was all Scribbs could say as they walked along path and neared the primary school. "So, was there a memo I somehow missed that says people must bother their siblings today?"

Ash looked at her wife. "Why do you ask?"

"First Chelsea calls me out of the blue, and then David drops by for a picnic. Is everyone out and about with their siblings?" she asked.

"Maybe," Ash said somewhat noncommittally. She shrugged. The trio walked along the fence that separated the pavement from the school yard. Ash stopped for a second by the playground as if to look for someone, but, though there were the sounds of children in the car park, no one was playing on the grass before them.

Scribbs was about to ask her wife what the matter was when she heard, "Miss Ash! I hoped that was you!" Down the pathway where the fence met with their pavement was a girl of about eleven running up to Ash with a wide smile on her face. Scribbs noticed the uniform tie loosened, as many kids' did at that time, and she was pulling her hair back as she ran.

"Hello again, H," the brunette called back; there was also a look of recognition and a happy smile on her face. She watched as the girl trotted over to the trio and Ash stared at the girl until she got closer. "I almost didn't recognize you without all the mud."

"Gah, not you too. You sound just like-"

"H!! Where are you going?!" called a familiar voice to the blonde DS. They all looked from Ash and H's reunion to the woman calling for the girl.

"My sister," H finished. When Rachel approached, she looked surprised to see Scribbs there. "Rach! This is Miss Ash, the woman I told you about last week, remember?"

Rachel looked between Ash and Scribbs, and then quickly to David. Her gaze went to Scribbs before her eyes flickered to the detectives' linked hands. "Your Ash is THE Miss Ash?" She let out a small laugh. "Ha, this place IS small."

The grip on Scribbs' hand tightened slightly. "Emma," Ash said uncertainly, looking from Rachel and then back to H.

"Kate, this is Rachel. You know those flowers you love so much that I got you in the hospital? Rachel and her… partner Lucy own the shop I bought them from."

"Hello," Rachel said, extending her hand. "It's nice to finally meet you. Scribbs- Emma has mentioned you. You already know H, it seems."

There was a small smile at the girl before Ash gestured towards David. "This is my brother, David."

David held out his hand as if nothing about this was out of the ordinary. "Hello. Pleasure. We're on our way to Britannia Park to have a picnic. If you're not in a hurry, you're welcome to join us."

"We sort of are, actually. The shop gets busier close to closing time. We can't leave Lucy to fend for herself. Thank you, though." Rachel said, and she really did look regretful. H looked as if she were about to sulk a little bit before she suddenly brightened.

"Could they come over afterwards for dinner then? We're usually done by six."

"It'll be a late supper," Rachel said.

"He just said they have plenty to eat now. It could be enough that they could wait," H reasoned. Rachel looked at the Ashursts and Scribbs.

"Would you be interested?" she asked. Ash and Scribbs shared a quick look, and then Ash nodded.

"Yeah, that sounds like it would be a nice evening," the brunette responded. Scribbs nodded. Rachel looked to David for his answer.

"Sadly, I'll be unable to attend. I've got to make a train by 4 or I'll be stranded in Middleford for the night," he explained, and the thought of that didn't seem to please him.

Rachel nodded at this with a smile, and said, "I'll talk to Luce, and I'll ring you. I need paper, H." The preteen shucked her backpack and in two swift movements had a notebook open and a pencil ready. Scribbs rattled off her mobile number and Rachel tore the page. "It was nice to finally meet you Ash. I did wonder."

"Nice to meet you, too. Those flowers from your shop are lovely."

"You can thank Luce for that. Well… I'll give you a ring no later than four."

With that, the five parted, and the Ashurst siblings continued to pick on each other. Scribbs listened to their banter and couldn't help but think about her own sister and the joke about the memo. It was an odd coincidence that Ash knew H and Scribbs knew her older sister Rachel. More than that, Scribbs was glad that H was a real person and not a made up memory. She didn't know what she would've done if Ash had asked after the girl and she didn't exist. She wouldn't even know how to tell Ash something like that.

The three made it to the park, and even before the blanket could be set down, David had taken out his camera. Scribbs didn't mind it, but Ash hid her face a couple of times in Scribbs' shoulder. "For Christ's sake, David!" Ash cried when her brother kept practically chasing her around for a facial picture. The curly haired man laughed, then aimed his camera at Scribbs, who stood tall and struck a pose. After that, David was content to take nature pictures while Ash and Scribbs ate and chatted softly together, every now and then being joined by David.

About twenty minutes later, David's mobile went off. "Ello?" David listened for a moment before a frown formed on his face. "Where was Annie in all of this? I saw her car right before I left for- Yeah. Well, tell Mr. Bloedell I'll be back tonight. Apparently, Mr. Oxford isn't so wonderful after all. Yeah. Bye." There was a sympathetic look that passed between the Ashurst siblings. "Work."

"Yeah."

"I'm going to have to go. Sorry to do this to you, Emma, but I'm stealing my sister again."

"Wha-"

"I'm his lift to the station," Ash told her, taking her hand. She gave it a quick kiss and squeeze before letting go. The two women packed up the picnic stuff with some of David's help after he made one more call, then he took a couple more pictures. The three walked back the way they came, and Scribbs saw how empty the school was this time around. They made it back to the station a few minutes later and Scribbs walked the Ashurst siblings to the car. Ash whispered, "I'll get some wine and meet you here in a couple of hours." Scribbs gave Ash a parting kiss and watched them exit the car park; slowly, she walked back to her desk and continued her tasks.

At around four as promised, Rachel called to confirm their dinner, and in turn, Scribbs called Ash at home and relayed their dinner plans to her.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

After work that evening, Scribbs went home with Ash and they both took turns taking a shower. There were heated kisses in between, but in the end, both women dressed on their own. If they'd made love in the shower, there would've been no knowing how long it would have taken for them to get ready. Ash had shown Scribbs the wine that she'd ended up buying, and she saw that it was a good brand. She approved, though she shouldn't have been surprised to know that Ash would choose the best wine for the occasion. Looking at the clock after Scribbs' shower, there was a few minutes left before they absolutely had to leave the flat in order to still be on time. Ash and Scribbs decided to use that time, spending it in each other's arms, exchanging their kisses and snuggles before they left the flat again.

When Rachel had called Scribbs at close to four o'clock that afternoon, she had given her directions to Hampden Court, which was the part of Middleford where the newer homes had sprung up over the last five years. At the time, Ash didn't approve. "Like we need more potential murderers here," she'd said on a particularly bad day. Scribbs, however, liked the new homes. She liked how modern the whole neighborhood looked, and had almost considered buying a flat in that area.

After slight bickering between the two detectives on whether to turn left or right at Hampden Court, Scribbs was able to get them into the drive. The only reason they knew it was the right one was because they saw Rachel waving at them madly from inside the flat. Scribbs secured the car and Ash got out, carrying the wine up the stairs to Rachel, who'd just opened the door.

"Hi! Hope you made it okay."

"Yeah, we did fine," Ash replied as she handed over the bottle.

Rachel admired it for a second as she read the label. "Ooh, thank you! This should go fairly well with supper." She reached out and gave Ash a one armed hug and then waved them inside. Ash waited for Scribbs to join her on the steps before she walked into the house, extending her hand behind her for her wife to take. Scribbs grabbed her hand, letting their fingers link. The two women could smell the food in the next room and shared a look. Both of them were getting hungry.

"Honey," Rachel said, "company's here." She looked to her left, where the kitchen was, and the detectives followed her gaze. There, Scribbs smiled as she saw a familiar redhead dealing as usual with greenery, only this time it was broccoli instead of rose stems. Without a word between them, Rachel went over to the oven where Lucy was standing and her spot there. "I'll finish here. You go ahead."

Lucy agreed and walked towards the two detectives, wiping her hands on a tea towel on her way out. She then reached out her hand to shake theirs. "Nice to finally- formally meet you," Lucy said, looking to Scribbs as she said the last part. Scribbs smiled again as she shook her hand. Lucy then looked to Ash. "So you're Miss Ash. You're very popular here, I must say. Plus, with Scribbs- Emma coming in for flowers for an Ash, we were very curious about you." The redhead looked Ash over for a second as if to line up the mental images of her to the woman standing before her. "I'm Luce."

As they walked further into the house, a loud thud could be heard from upstairs. Lucy looked up the stairs with a small scowl on her face. "H," she said to her guests. "She hasn't been downstairs since we all got home," Lucy explained. There was another loud thump at the top of the stairs this time, which forced Lucy to call out, "Careful up there!"

Suddenly, the large thumps turned into smaller ones before H was seen hopping down the stairs. She had on a maroon sweater with the Gryffindor crest on the heart, and a black skirt. Her hair was pulled out of her face with a black hair band, and her small golden star earrings showed. She smiled somewhat sheepishly at Lucy before looking between Ash and Scribbs. "I'm so glad you guys made it," she said.

"Of course we made it," Ash replied, looking at the girl as if she was mad for thinking they wouldn't come.

"Did you find us alright?" H asked, and Lucy nodded as if to also ask with her own facial features.

"We've been out this way before, but being new homes, it was hard to tell them apart," Ash told them. This was another one of her arguments against the new homes.

Lucy nodded as she listened to this, then she said, "I'll show you the downstairs here, since I'd been a few minutes from being finished with the cooking before Rachel took over. I can finish the tour later if you like." She went to their living room and showed them outside to a beautiful new garden that Rachel and Lucy were building with H's help. She then indicated the entertainment area, where Scribbs admired the combined collection of movies. Then they sat on the couch.

"Well, the insides of these homes look spacious, even if you can't quite tell from the outside," Ash offered.

"Let that be a lesson to you," Scribbs murmured, but in a louder voice so that Lucy and H also heard her. As the twelve year old giggled, Lucy smiled at the remark.

"I always thought that building these houses was a bit like playing Tetris for the construction workers," H put in. Ash and Scribbs smiled, both knowing that the blonde DS would've probably described it the same way.

"So how long have you lived in Middleford?" Scribbs asked after a slight pause.

"Er, we moved in here about seven months ago. We're from London originally, but after Rach and I got together, things became awkward with Rachel's friends, and H got teased at school because of us."

"You'd think living in London, there'd be more acceptance."

"It wasn't really London; it was the friends and family there." Lucy shrugged. "We shopped around and decided to look for something completely new. Middleford seemed like a nice place to live. Surprisingly lesbian friendly."

Scribbs bit back her comment on how it could really be in Suburbia, but she supposed she only felt that way due to her job. "Yeah, this does seem to have become the place that lesbians migrate to," she said instead.

"Lesbians and gold diggers," Ash added.

"Lesbian gold diggers," Scribbs completed. They shared a small snigger, which earned them an eyebrow raise from Luce even as a smile snuck onto her lips.

A few seconds later, Lucy went on, "We were in the process of moving when Rachel's parents decided they wanted to go on holiday to fix their marriage, so we had H come live with us. Part of me thinks Rachel's mother hopes to plant H here so that we would start thinking about having children of our own, giving her grandchildren, but that's between you and me," Lucy said.

H nodded enthusiastically. "I wouldn't mind having a niece or nephew."

"You're twelve. You'd be the youngest aunt I've ever known," Lucy said. She put a hand on H's head, applying a little pressure as she rubbed the top of it, which caused the girl's head to wobble about playfully. H frowned as she tried to slap Lucy's hand away. Then Lucy placed the hand on H's shoulder and H leaned into her. If Scribbs didn't know otherwise, she wouldn't have known that H and Lucy weren't related by blood. Lucy looked to Ash and Scribbs. "We like having H here, but after seven months, she probably misses her friends in London. Don't you?" she asked, looking down at H, who shrugged.

"Not so much. I mean, after Natesh broke up with me so that he could date Natalie, I've been better off here with you. I think the arrangement is perfect. I only wish Mum 'n' Dad would move here, too." At this, Lucy tried to hide her look by facing away. Both guests didn't need to use their detective skills to know how Lucy felt about that thought.

There were sounds of dishes being moved about in the kitchen, and Lucy said to H, "Go help your sister." She gave a quick pat on the shoulder and added, "We'll be in there momentarily.

H nodded and walked quickly into the kitchen area. The three women heard her announce, "I've come to help!"

"Oh good!" they heard from Rachel. There was more clanking. Ash and Scribbs looked at each other, both wondering how Lucy must go through hell living with both sisters under one roof.

"Would you two like some wine with dinner?" Lucy asked as the three slowly followed the trail that H had taken a couple of minutes earlier. There was a hesitance to answer. Ash nodded when Scribbs shook her head.

"I'm driving, so I shouldn't be tempted." With that, H opened up the refrigerator and offered the many other beverages that she drank on varying occasions. "I'll have what you're having," Scribbs finally said, and watched as H got out a fruity red drink and poured two glasses. Then she put the glasses on the table next to the place setting where Ash had set her wine glass. Knowing that Scribbs would sit next to Ash, H set her own glass next to Scribbs' place setting and sat in that seat.

Rachel transferred food from the cooker to serving dishes and placed a couple of them on the table. Lucy went to help her, and before the couple sat down they shared a quick peck on the lips. Lucy looked to her guests to gauge their reactions; she found they were unfazed by the exchange, and they had, in fact, appeared glad that both of them were open in their relationship. "Well, eat up, then," Rachel said.

"Yeah, 'cause if we don't, it's lunch tomorrow," H put in. Scribbs couldn't tell how the preteen really felt about the idea, because H's tone was disgust but her face held some delight at the idea. How she pulled it off was something else entirely.

"I thought you liked it. I made it for you," Lucy said.

H smiled. "I do. I was joking," she said.

"Brat," Rachel said fondly.

Ash watched the exchange between sisters, then looked down her right at both H and Scribbs, noticing again how similar they were. She'd seen it at the park when they'd made the dinner arrangement, but up close, their personalities shined almost the same.

There was a moment where nothing was said and everyone took the first tentative taste of the main course. "Rach? Did you add more salt?" Lucy asked in a lower voice so that she didn't embarrass her partner.

"Yeah, why?" Rachel asked in response, looking to her sister, who seemed unconcerned with the state of the food, and if H didn't like it, something was certainly wrong. H wasn't as picky as the rest of them.

"I'd already added the salt, honey," Lucy informed her, trying not to smirk. Rachel's look was apologetic to Ash and Scribbs. "Let it be known that if it's too salty for you, its Rach's fault."

"I'd still eat it," H offered, right before taking a large bite to prove her point. "You could always make more without any salt, mix it in with this batch, and there, my lunch for the rest of the week. Two birds, one stone." H tapped her temple twice, an action that caused Scribbs to giggle and her sister to grin at the girl in amusement.

"Thanks, H. Will consider that," Rachel said, then looked to her guests, "but seriously, if it's no good, I can make something else."

"No," Scribbs said, trying to be polite, "mix it with the broccoli and it's just fine. Don't go out of your way." Ash did just that, and then nodded in agreement.

"Thank you. This is lovely," Ash added in once she's swallowed her bite. Rachel smiled gratefully at them and then gave her girlfriend a look that seemed to say, 'See? They like it well enough, so shut up.' In response to the look, Lucy took Rachel's hand.

"I think I'm in trouble," Lucy murmured. "On the bright side… It could've been Heck cooking." That earned a chuckle from Rachel, and there was a small look of relief from Lucy.

A few minutes later, H put her fork down, chewed thoughtfully, and then looked to Ash as she swallowed her bite. Both detectives could tell she wanted to ask a question, but had to use her manners and wait. H drank from her cup, and then asked, "So, you two are married, yeah?"

Ash, having food still in her mouth, simply nodded while Scribbs said, "Yeah."

"For how long?"

"Not even a year yet," Scribbs replied.

"Did you date long before you got married?" H shot at them, and Ash started to feel sympathy for anyone stuck in the Interrogation room at the station with her and her wife.

"It felt like we did for much longer than we actually had," Scribbs told the girl. 'That should be a good enough answer,' she thought to herself.

"Yeah, but how long did you actually date?" H pressed.

Ash looked over at her wife and asked, "How long ago was Birch Grove?"

Scribbs thought back on it and said, "Two years maybe?" Doing the math, Scribbs had to make up a specific amount of time they'd been married. "So, we dated about a year and a half before we got married," Scribbs concluded to answer the girl's question.

"Since lesbians can't get married here, did you get a union thingy?" At the term 'union thing', Scribbs was reminded of her phone call with Chelsea earlier that day. H seemed to have forgotten the food on her plate, as the topic interested her and Scribbs was answering all of her questions. She decided that even if she hadn't been the wife of Miss Ash, she'd have liked her.

"No, we have a marriage certificate from Canada," Scribbs replied. She too gave up on her meal for the time being. "It means that by Canadian law, we are married, but it isn't recognized here."

"Why haven't you gotten a union thing here, and be married here? I know it's not quite the same, but at least you'll be married here, too."

"H, let them eat!" Rachel cut in, though she was also curious about Ash and Scribbs' relationship. When she first met her, Scribbs had spoken of Ash as a friend, but was now her wife. Of course, Rachel knew that the possibility of the women living a somewhat closeted life, especially with people they'd just met was there, but something was off about that idea. Ash looked at Scribbs in a way that was too open, much in the way she herself looked at Luce. If they were hiding at all, they would've taught themselves to hide that look in front of other people. Rachel knew that it wasn't something she could bring up in this setting and would have to find a way to speak with Scribbs alone.

"No, it's okay," Scribbs assured her hostess. She looked from Rachel to Ash, locked eyes with her for a fraction of a moment, and then spoke directly to H. "Like you said, getting a civil union isn't the same. It wouldn't have felt the same, and even though we were married in our own sense, it was just a lot more binding to actually hold onto that marriage certificate even if it was from another country."

H was nodding as she listened to Scribbs, and when she was sure she could, she asked, "Did you have a wedding?" The girl wondered in her mind what a wedding between two women- these two women in particular would have looked like. She just couldn't picture either one of them in a wedding dress like Rach had been, but she could imagine Miss Ash in a suit of sorts, much like the suit she was wearing during their first meeting at her school's playground. H thought Ash would make for a handsome 'groom'.

Scribbs looked over to Ash, who had a look of concentration on her face. She looked as if she was trying to remember these things that Scribbs was telling H, but the blonde could tell she was drawing blanks. Part of her wondered if all of this was making things worse on Ash and her memory, even if it might do good for their marriage. Scribbs stayed silent for a moment, not sure how to answer the girl's last question. She could feel the curious looks from the others around the table.

"No," Scribbs replied after a moment, "we didn't. We sort of had a short little ceremony where we stood in front of the people that we knew and loved, and said out vows to show our love for each other."

H took this information in before she asked, "How many people were there?"

Scribbs took a drink of her juice as a way to give herself a little more time to think. If H asked many more questions, Scribbs would soon enough dig herself too deep and she'd eventually have to flat out lie. As it was, Scribbs was using her knowledge of the both of them to guess what sort of arrangements they would've made together had they really gotten a wedding. She continued to do that, seeing as so far it worked out okay. Ash had yet to cut in with some other ideals that she'd conjured up in their six year friendship. "There was Kate's mum 'n' dad, her bother David, our dear friend Greg," The blonde tried not to twitch when she said that about their boss, but was relieved that feeling by adding, "who's our boss, but has been a really good friend of Kate's since before I met her. Then there was my mum and my sister Chelsea, who brought my niece Marcie."

Thinking about her sister and aunt's wedding, H nodded again and thought about the guest list, which, she knew, would've been greatly changed and reduced from Rachel and Heck's. Her parents joked once that they'd paid plenty for Rach's wedding the first time around, so they were glad that she'd be marrying a florist the next. Even they knew that Rachel loved Lucy enough to marry her eventually. The twelve year old let herself think on this some more. She knew that if Lucy and Rachel were to get married, their parents on either side, which included a new stepfather for Lucy, she herself as ring bearer of sorts, Miss Ash and Miss Scribbs hopefully, and a couple of scattered family that seemed unfazed by the sudden divorce from Heck. Speaking of, Heck would of course be invited, as Rachel and him were still friends, but H wasn't sure if he'd attend since he was writing his second travel book.

H wasn't sure if there would be many other people there to attend the wedding, as neither woman had made any other friends than the two detectives sitting with them at the table. This worried H a little bit because she cared for Rachel and Lucy as they cared for her, and to close themselves off to some of the people in this town wouldn't be good. The fact that they also made no hints or plans to get married kind of bothered the girl as well, as she knew that her sister was wary about being married again. She'd once admitted to H that she was afraid of possibly having the fear of commitment, and of that being part of the reason she ran to Lucy to begin with. H had told her sister that it was rubbish, that Heck was just meant to be with her, not Rachel, and if only they had listened to that when she was six… Though that had gotten a laugh, it didn't seem to ease any of that fear.

With these thoughts floating through H's head, the preteen fell silent as she finished eating her food. Scribbs and Ash both watched the girl, waiting for her to start up with another round of questioning, and were surprised when she didn't. Scribbs used some of this time to eat some of her own food, mixing her vegetables with the main course. She wasn't lying when she told Rachel that it all tasted just fine while it was all blended together. The main course gave the vegetables a little more flavoring, while at the same time, the vegetables took flavoring away from the noodles.

All the while, Scribbs watched H, hoping she hadn't said anything that had offended the girl or made her feel bad in any way. She had done her best to answer all of her questions in the best she knew how without feeding her a bunch of lies. For the moment, the blonde saw that she was fine, not hurt or angry, but contemplative of what had been said.

Ash, too, remained silent and continued to eat. Having not done much of the talking, Lucy, Rachel and Ash finished at about the same time. The brunette waited until Lucy stood up to take care of some of the dishes before she too got up, quick to lend a hand. Pots and pans were heard as the women worked together. Rachel took this moment to stare at Scribbs, as if she was willing her gaze to burn a hole in the detective's head long enough to catch her attention. When the blonde woman looked up at her, they shared a quick glance before Rachel's head gestured quickly towards the kitchen with a question clear on her face. Eyes darting to H and back to Rachel, Scribbs noticed that H wasn't even paying attention. Scribbs got Rachel's message but pretended that she hadn't. Rachel knew that she had gotten the message and hoped that she could catch her alone soon because the curiosity was killing her.

The blonde DS had sensed Rachel's confusion earlier that day when Ash was introduced as her wife, and she didn't know what to tell Rachel now. Though Rachel was a good person, they'd only just formally met, and she wasn't sure if she wanted to involve her and Lucy in Ash's complete situation. It was obvious to Scribbs that Rachel wasn't stupid and knew that something was up, but Scribbs couldn't bring herself to go into it with her, especially with Ash in easy ear shot.

To escape Rachel's stare, Scribbs also stood up, even though her plate wasn't completely empty. She took one last bite en route to the kitchen and placed her plate where Lucy told her to. Scribbs didn't realize until she almost collided with her that H was right behind her. The kitchen was crowded now, so after a short silence, Lucy suggested, "Why don't you show Ash and Emma the upstairs."

"Please, you can call me Scribbs," the blonde DS said.

"Right," Lucy agreed with a smile, then looked again to H.

This seemed to put the preteen into action and she linked her arm with Scribbs'. "Yeah, I can show you my room, too." She said. She seemed to wait for Ash, but the brunette shook her head.

"Actually, if you don't mind, I'd like to stay and help clean up." She looked to Rachel and Lucy after H shrugged, and they both made their gestures of agreement.

"Though you don't have to," Rachel added in to make sure the DI knew that it was fine either way.

"I'd like to. That way it'll be done faster," Ash insisted. She didn't add in the fact that she hated a dirty kitchen, no matter whose it was or whether she was a guest or not.

With that, Scribbs was carted away up the stairs. H pointed to this and that, though the DS saw that there wasn't too much to look at on the stairs. It wasn't long before Scribbs found out why. As they neared the top of the stairs, H pointed to a nail sticking out of the wall. "That's where I accidentally knocked off me mum and dad's photograph," she felt the need to explain. After witnessing- or rather, hearing H's behavior on the stairs, Scribbs figured that the girl was a bit accident prone. The detective continued to follow H up to the top, where she saw a couple of pictures hanging up of Lucy as a teenager, and one of Rachel from not too long ago. One of H's school photos sat framed on a small table next to a vase of fresh lilies.

H pointed out Lucy and Rachel's bedroom as well as the toilet, then she opened up the door to her room. "This is my room," she announced, though it wasn't necessary. Scribbs looked around the slightly smaller room and knew right away what H wanted to be when she became an adult, or at least, she knew the girl's passion in life. She saw that the whole room was painted blue with cut outs of planets and solar systems. There was a large printed satellite photo of Middleford, where H had written 'you are here' under a circle, and an arrow pointed at it.

Scribbs walked further into the room to inspect the homemade poster, and saw after only a few seconds where and her and Ash's flats were, along with the police station and her favorite pub. Scribbs smiled, looking away from the poster, and her eyes landed on plastic glow in the dark stars. It took her an extra moment before she realized that these stars had been placed in the Plough constellation. She was going to comment on that when she saw the telescope in the corner by the bed and the window. On the wall next to the window, an image made Scribbs laugh outright, for a cut out picture of Marvin Martian and his dog in a space ship was there, along with cut outs of Josie Lawrence, Tony Slattery, Colin Mochrie, Clive Anderson, and Greg Proops from Whose Line is it Anyway, who were positioned in a way that made them seem trapped inside the ship with wide eyes and silent screams. The tail of the ship had Ryan Stiles hanging on for dear life as they all seemed to head for the moon.

Along that same wall, a desk with a computer and computer chair sat cluttered with disks and other pictures of galaxies and constellations. Scribbs saw that the computer itself was an older model, probably used only for games and possibly a word processor. It didn't seem as if it was connected to the Internet. Looking at the disks and small boxes on the desk, she knew that she was right about that. She smiled, knowing that she would've loved to have had H's room when she was younger.

H stood in the doorway, watching as Scribbs seemed to admire and appreciate the personality within her room. She knew that as soon as her parents got back to reality, she'd go back to London and live in a room pretty much identical to this one in Middleford, but she was glad that Lucy allowed her to make it hers. "Are you preparing to be an astronaut?" Scribbs asked her, ending the silence between them.

"Not just that," she told the detective, "I'm going to be the first Prime Minister of Mars."

Scribbs' eyebrows rose at how sure of this fact H seemed to be. "That's big," Scribbs said.

"Or a detective in space. Either one, really. I'd be like Miss Ash," H said casually, as if comparing two very similar jobs like a writer and a librarian.

"I'm trying to imagine myself solving a murder in a space suit," Scribbs told the girl, "and I must say, I've worn crazier things while under cover. And I've seen Ash go sick at even the thought of getting on an airplane, so there's no way we'd get her up in space."

"Well, Earth needs detectives like you guys, so I'd understand if you wanted to stay, but you'd still get a free pass to come visit me in space whenever you like."

"Of course. Who could deny an invite from the Prime Minister of Mars?" Scribbs wondered, and the two shared a smile. The clatter of pots and pans was heard downstairs, and H slowly closed the door behind her. She looked at Scribbs a moment and seemed to have gone serious.

"I want to apologize for asking so many questions back there," the girl said.

"You don't need to worry about asking questions, H. Most of my job is asking questions to get to the bottom of things," Scribbs responded in a tone she hoped was reassuring. "I'll do my best to answer them if I can."

"I've already asked most of the ones I had, but they seemed to make Miss Ash uncomfortable. I didn't mean to do that, I just- I wanted to know what it was like to be married like you two are."

"Because of your sister and Lucy?" Scribbs asked. H only nodded. "That's perfectly understandable," the detective said, though it was more to herself than to the girl.

"You know, I'd see Lucy as my aunt whether or not they got married. I already do," H said suddenly, "but I don't see why they won't. They are so perfect for each other."

H went over to the window and looked out for a second before walking to her bed. She sat down, and sensing she'd be there for a while, Scribbs pulled the computer chair out and sat down in it to face the girl. She rested her arms on her knees and leaned forward a little bit. H copied her posture and they sat about two or three feet apart, facing each other. Scribbs waited for H to speak, and when she didn't, she offered, "It probably isn't the right time for them."

"But they're so in love," H protested, "how much more time do they need?"

Scribbs let out a soft chuckle and replied while shaking her head, "I don't know. That's not for me to decide."

H looked thoughtful for a second, as if she wanted to ask another question, but fought herself on whether or not she should. Finally, she spoke up. "How did you and Ash know that it was the right time to get married?" H's voice was filled with curiosity, and Scribbs knew that she had the girl's complete attention. The only problem was, she had to think of something to say to H because she'd never gotten the time to decide that being married to Ash was right for her. It just happened. Eventually, she had to voice her thoughts, which was hard for her to do.

"Well… I love Ash, and I know she loves me. And… I would've done anything for her, to help her." H was slightly confused by Scribbs' last statement, but assumed that the detective meant that she'd do what it took to be there for Ash, which wasn't a wrong assumption. "And to be perfectly honest," Scribbs went on, "it took me a while to get used to the idea of being married to Ash, but now… I can't see myself with anybody else."

Scribbs knew this was the truth, whether or not she wanted to admit to it. She felt happy that she could feel this way, be it for her female best friend or any of the men she'd dated. She was getting used to saying those three words to Ash and meaning them whenever she did. She didn't know exactly how to say the words she'd just said to H and direct them at her partner in a way that she'd understand. She couldn't just say all that she'd wanted to say because she'd have to let it slip that they weren't legally married anywhere. Even if she didn't need to worry about that, Scribbs had never been known for being articulate with her words, nor did she expect for anyone she dated to be. Feeling how she felt for her wife, she now wished she was.

"That's how I feel about Heck," H said, which broke off the detective's thoughts. "I know I'm meant to marry him."

"Heck?" Scribbs wondered.

"Rach's ex husband before she met Luce," H explained easily as if it was common knowledge. "I want to marry him in eight years, but knowing my luck, he'll have married Saundra, the stalker from the airplane." H didn't even try to hide her disgust at the thought of it. "I've been in love with him for literally half my life." Not knowing who Heck or Saundra was, Scribbs could only nod at this. Being as Heck was Rachel's husband, Scribbs knew there had to be a lot of back story that she may never be aware of. She could also see this as being the reason why Rachel and Lucy wouldn't want to get married right away.

Scribbs shifted in the chair a little bit, and her knee bumped into the desk. Though it didn't hurt the blonde, it was enough to jostle the mouse and make the monitor come to life a little bit. On the screen was a Nancy Drew style mystery game where the player had to go through town- one house in particular- and play mini-games in order to get clues to solve the mystery.

"That's one of my favorite games. I've already solved it the first time, but I can never seem to find all of the clues because some of the games are hard to complete," H said when she noticed that Scribbs was staring at the screen for almost a full minute. "I have lots more." She opened up the cupboard on the desk and went through each and every arcade, card, board, action mystery and racing game that had been for the most part Lucy's collection before she gave them to H. A lot of the newer looking games must have been bought during the months H lived there, as they seemed to be older videogames converted for the computer. As Scribbs looked through the Mahjong's, the solitaires, and some of the action games, she was tempted to borrow one of H's games, but wasn't sure how she'd come across. "My favorite game is actually downstairs. Wanna see?"

Scribbs wanted to be polite, so she said, "Sure." H stood up and started for the door, Scribbs doing her best to keep up. She watched as H tumbled her way down the stairs, and wondered how she could move down them like that without tripping the rest of the way. Scribbs' steps were silent in comparison to H's thumps, and she heard Lucy tell the girl to walk a little softer. The thumps then ceased. Scribbs leaned a little into the kitchen to see Ash and Lucy working, while Rachel watched H go into the living room. Scribbs followed.

There, H took out the box that up until that point had been leaning against the wall next to the television, and the girl began to assemble the floor pad belonging to the deluxe home version of the arcade game 'Dance Dance Revolution'. Scribbs then watched as H turned on the TV and started a new game. "Come on, Scribbs. I set up player two," the girl prompted, pointing to the second floor pad next to the one she stood on, but Scribbs shook her head.

"I'll watch you for a bit to see how it goes." H liked that idea.

Lucy, Rachel, and Ash worked harmoniously in the kitchen. Rachel put the leftover food into containers, one of which was then set into a small bag with a heart on it. She'd then hand the dishes to Lucy who washed them and set them into the rinse water, where Ash would dry them and set them on the rack. A few minutes in, Rachel finished with the food and began putting the dishes away in cupboards. Together, they were a silent, well oiled machine.

Ash had been off in her own thoughts. She wasn't sure exactly what to think of the whole evening. Sure, her hostesses were lovely, and dinner really had been fine, but she could tell the couple wished it'd gone better. Still, it was pleasant enough, but there was still that awkward air about them all due to the fact that they were all still getting to know each other and didn't want to push any boundaries. Ash was confident, though, that with time the four adults and H would end up really good friends.

When H and Scribbs had come down the stairs, Rachel seemed distracted as she watched her sister tinker with the game consol and footpads for a game that Ash recognized, but she didn't know anyone who owned it. Ash noticed the slight longing on Rachel's face as she watched. Lucy noticed this as well and smirked. "They're going to need supervision in there, if I know H correctly," she said, but Rachel didn't seem to hear her as she walked into the living room. With Rachel gone, Ash and Lucy continued to work, sharing a smile between them at Rachel's behavior. "That's Rachel's favorite game. H's and mine, too, I suppose, but Rachel's addicted. Knowing her, she'll be the one in need of the supervision." The two women laughed at that, then went back to the tasks at hand, Ash trading with Lucy, as she didn't know where the dishes belonged. Lucy alternated her energy between putting the dishes away and wiping down surfaces as they were cleared.

"Thank you for your help," Lucy eventually said as they finished up, "I don't know if I've said that yet. You really didn't have to, but the task did go faster." She tossed the rag carelessly.

Ash gave a small nod and said, "No problem." This made her briefly think about her brother and she hoped that David had made it back alright and wasn't staying at work too late.

"Alright, Ash?" Lucy asked, which startled the brunette out of her thoughts.

"Yeah. I was just thinking about my brother," she admitted. "He had to rush back to work this afternoon." Lucy nodded. There was a cackle of laughter from the other room, and Lucy twisted around the wall to get a glimpse of what was going on. Ash took the steps necessary to join her, and saw H and Rachel standing behind Scribbs as they watched her try to play the game. H was encouraging her while Rachel laughed at the somewhat frantic look on Scribbs' face. Lucy turned from the scene and watched her guest. The look of adoration was there, and though she too had seen the strangeness of the relationship, she knew Ash and Scribbs did love each other even if their story was wonky. The looks of confusion on Ash's face made Lucy wonder even more. She'd known that Ash was hospitalized, and if she remembered right, Scribbs had mentioned that first time that her 'friend' Ash was in a coma. Maybe…

Ash continued to watch her wife struggle before the song ended. She heard H tell Scribbs that she hadn't done bad on her first try, and Rachel agreed, telling her that she couldn't even finish a song the first few times through. Of course, that was because she had picked the stage for the song and not its difficulty level. Rachel then took the player two footpad and let Scribbs pick the song.

"You're going to flatten me," Scribbs protested, but she picked another easier level.

Slowly, Lucy walked into the living room with Ash a couple of steps behind her. They watched as Scribbs' concentration split between her feet and the screen as arrows floated upwards during a techno version of a song she'd heard a few times while flipping through the television. She seemed to be holding her own for the most part next to Rachel, with H cheering behind her, egging her on. Still, she missed her steps a lot and fell behind. For a moment there, Scribbs paused completely in order to get her steps back in rhythm, which allowed Rachel a larger gain in her lead. Once Scribbs' rhythm went back with the game, towards a fairly okay finish, Rachel looked over to Scribbs and began to miss a couple of steps herself. From Ash's view, it seemed as if Rachel was being nice and had messed up on purpose so she wouldn't have as great of a lead, but she couldn't be sure. The move proved to make Scribbs a little happier that if nothing else, she could hold her own against Rachel, whom had played the game a lot longer than she had.

"Eh, I could get a better score than that in my sleep," H bragged to her sister, and as Scribbs sat down on the nice couch, the girl took up Player Two's pad and Rachel moved over to the Player One pad.

"Move your feet like you move your mouth and you just might," Rachel retorted without skipping a beat. (Ha-ha)

"Seeing as I play winner- and I use the term lightly in your case- I will," H shot back playfully.

"Lightly or not, I'm still one up on you."

Ash couldn't tell which sister was older just then. Watching them verbally spar with each other like they did, they could almost be twins. There was no doubt that the two were sisters, though.

"Actually, I think that's enough," Lucy spoke up, and the look both H and Rachel was giving her was further proof that the two shared blood. Ash followed their gaze and was surprised to see the slight smirk there. "Besides, I'm reigning champion in this household and you peasants could only dream of beating my score."

"Is that a challenge I hear?" Rachel asked as she moved towards her girlfriend in what could only be described as a saucy swagger. She then draped her arms over Lucy's shoulders and the redhead looked away as if unaffected. Ash could tell that it was hard for her to keep up the façade.

"Your powers of seduction will not work here," Lucy said. "It was not a challenge, it was merely fact." She continued. The smirk was back.

H didn't try to hide her 'ick' face as she reset the game and took her spot as Player One. She looked around at the adults, then called out, "Okay, I'm restarting the game now, so whoever wants to join me, do it now."

At this, Ash hesitated before walking up to the Player Two footpad, looking down at H as she did so. She then looked down at her feet as she tried to see where her feet should move. Just then, she heard the sudden start of the level and she called out, "Hey!"

"H, you cheat!" Rachel called out. Ash did her best to keep up before H stopped the level.

"Okay, seriously this time." H said through her laughter. "You ready?" The only reply she got was the playful glare from the DI. There was another laugh, and then she restarted the level. Ash began to move her feet as the game directed her. As each arrow floated upwards on the screen and swelled with each correct movement, Ash felt more confident in her movements. "You're a faster study than Scribbs is," H commented. She seemed to be using a lot of her concentration this time. Both players had their eyes glued to the screen with the exception of the time H's eyes would flicker to Ash.

Scribbs, Rachel and Lucy watched in amusement as both players continued to get 'Good!' 'Great!' and 'Outstanding!' from the game. In the end, H won the level by a few dozen points, and the girl looked at Ash in amazement. "I thought I completely had you beat," she said to the brunette as Ash went to sit on the couch next to Scribbs. Ash winked in response, and then took her wife's hand. Lucy slowly untangled herself form Rachel, leaving a kiss on her nose, and went to join H at the game.

"Ready to learn?" she asked as she stood in the middle of Player Two's footpad. There was a grin that could've made the Cheshire Cat nervous, but H only rolled her eyes while she started the game.

"From you? Learn what, how to lose gracefully?" H asked, and Lucy swatted her on the shoulder. The move was so quick that no one saw it coming, but it wasn't hard enough to throw H out of her rhythm as the song started up.

"Respect your elders," Lucy ordered, but there was no force to it.

"Speaking of,-" H started to say, but Lucy cut her off.

"Don't you dare play the age card," Lucy warned. H laughed.

"Heh," she huffed, "but it's a winning hand!" With that, the two fell silent except for the thuds and the music from the game. Ash and Scribbs weren't sure who to root for, but they were having fun watching Lucy gain the lead and beat H without breaking a sweat.

"PERFECT!" the game said.

H went to sit on the couch between the two detectives, which forced their hands apart. H leaned forward, using Ash's right and Scribbs' left knees as arm rests. The three then watched Rachel and Lucy step on the game pads and restart the game once more. Together, they moved in sync, every now and again exchanging smiles with each other, but unlike Ash and Scribbs, H wasn't impressed.

"That was the first song they danced to in the arcade. Of course, they'd get perfects on it," she said. "I'd like to see the two of you get perfects on the Riverdance stage," she told her sister and aunt.

"There's a Riverdance level?" Scribbs asked the girl.

"It's so hard. I tried once, but I tripped on my own two feet-"

"You do that anyway," Rachel interrupted, laughing when she looked back and saw the look H was giving her. She looked forward to see that Lucy had selected another level. The detectives watched as the couple got perfect scores, only this time, they both had to try harder for it. This time, H had nothing snarky to say. When the song was over, Scribbs clapped for them, and Lucy let Rachel pick the last song of their difficulty level. Within seconds, Rachel skipped a step, allowing Lucy to take the lead and then win with the third perfect score.

"Alright, I admit that you're reigning champion, but don't let yourself get comfortable. I'll be back to challenge you again soon." Rachel said in the voice of a Renaissance knight.

"Looking forward to it," Lucy replied.

H then jumped up as if she had been burned in the butt. "DOUBLES!" she called.

The next hour was spent in doubles play, in a somewhat competition to see which pairing made the best dance team. Not surprisingly, Rachel and Lucy made the best team, followed by H and Rachel, and then surprisingly, H and Ash. Scribbs, though not as good at the game as the rest, still found herself having a lot of fun.

It was after 9:30 when everyone decided they'd had enough, and Lucy turned off the game for the night. Ash and Scribbs politely told them it was time to leave so that they didn't impose on their hostess' time any longer than they had. Rachel disappeared for a couple of moments as Lucy and H argued lightly over why H had lost her match with the redhead, and came back just in time to cut them off. She had come back with a container with cheesecake in it and said, "Here's the dessert we never got around to having." There was a smile on her lips that suggested that she didn't mind this fact as their contest was fun for her.

"Thank you for the fun evening. We'll have you all over soon," Scribbs said, accepting the hug from H and then from Rachel. There was a nod between her and Lucy. There were quick hugs to Ash from the sisters and a hand shake between her and Lucy.

"It was nice to meet you," Ash told her.

"Yes, nice to meet you too," the redhead responded, and saw the two detectives to their car. "Take a right at the end of the road, then two streets later, take the left to get out," she told them.

"Thanks, and thanks again for having us over." Scribbs unlocked the door for her wife, and then went around to the drivers' side.

Fog had descended over Suburbia, so Scribbs had to drive a lot slower to get them out of Hampden Court. She made chitchat with Ash as they finally got out of the housing development. "I really like that lot," Ash said suddenly. Scribbs nodded with a laugh.

"H sure is a breath of fresh air," the blonde agreed. There was a short silence, then, "You think if we had a daughter, she'd be like H?"

Ash looked over at her wife. She couldn't remember having a discussion on children with Scribbs, and she wasn't sure how the blonde felt on the topic. The fact that she was asking now made her wonder. "She'd look like you, I bet," Scribbs went on.

"Yeah, but she'd be a hell raiser like you."

"Or she'd look like me and be very practical like you," Scribbs added in, and Ash let herself think on this a little more. She thought about H and the other girl she kept seeing in her dreams, wondering which of them would be the most like a daughter of theirs. Though anyone could mistake H for Scribbs' daughter, there was just something about the redhead tomboy that charmed her. She felt a lot of affection for this girl, but also a little bit of sadness that she couldn't explain. She didn't want to tell her wife about this because she didn't want to worry her, and she had the feeling that Scribbs wouldn't be able to help, anyway.

The two fell into their own silences as Scribbs, too thought about this. She'd never thought much on children before, or at least of her having any. She was always too busy trying to keep a man in her life. None of them seemed to want to marry her, let alone start a family with her. Even now with Ash, she found it somewhat difficult to see children in their lives. It wasn't like their careers were child friendly, and if the couple couldn't completely agree on pet issues, there was no way they'd do well with parenting. Still, the image of a naughty mini-Kate Ashurst or a proper mini-Emma Scribbins running around made her smile. The thoughts continued to run through both women's minds as Scribbs continued to get them home safely.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

*I'm sorry for the mushy assed chapter.

As soon as the two women entered the flat, Ash went over to the fish tank and checked the water to make sure the filter was doing its job. Then she took some of the fish food, dashed a little bit in her palm before tipping it into the tank, and watched as it floated on the water's surface before Upy discovered what was going on. Scribbs watched as Ash smiled at Upy, and the blonde wondered again how she could feel so changed in the course of a couple of days. If she were to think about any of it for very long- and at times she preferred not to- she'd have to admit to herself that Ash had always changed her world for the better, that Ash was the reason why she was so happy at her job. As she put the cheesecake and leftover food in the refrigerator, she wondered how her life could feel so complete, fulfilled. How could this life that wasn't even real be the only thing that mattered to her?

With that thought, she wondered if Ash's memories would ever come back. Scribbs knew that she loved the brunette more and more each time their eyes locked or hands touched, and that scared her. She tried to hold back some of this because to her it all seemed too soon for some of this, but to Ash, they were supposed to be this way with each other because they were married.

As Scribbs was at the refrigerator, she heard the beginning music to the song 'She's the One', Ash's favorite song by Robbie Williams.

_I was her_

_She was me_

_We were young_

_We were free_

_And if there's somebody calling me on_

_She's the one_

_If there's somebody calling me on_

_She's the one_

_We were young_

_We were wrong_

_We were fine all along_

_If there's somebody calling me on_

_She's the one_

Scribbs thought about the words that were coming from the speakers, and she knew that the words were true for them. Ash had always been the one who'd made her feel anything, from annoyance then to love now. Ash was the reason why she liked getting up in the morning, especially now that she got the privilege of seeing her completely unguarded when the brunette slept. She loved that Ash was her partner, helping her stop crime, and on occasion, being her partner IN crime. Why wouldn't they be partners in all other aspects of the word as well?

Scribbs slowly turned and walked into the living room. She saw that her wife was sitting on the couch and was struck momentarily by her beauty. She wasn't sure if it was in part the doing of the song. She loved how Ash's eyes seemed to shine in a way that was meant only for her. Scribbs gave her wife a small smile and was rewarded with one in return. There was a pat on the couch as Ash beckoned her, and like a magnet, Scribbs was pulled forward.

As her wife came to sit by her, Ash began to think about how different the two of them were. She had always been known as the dark broody one (or that was how people saw her when she was a DS) while Scribbs was the light, perky one. In the back of her mind, she got the feeling that someone had summed them up that way a little more recently than seven years ago, but she couldn't remember when or who had said it. Still, looking at her partner and seeing the look in her eyes, the almost hesitant yet shy way that she looked at her made Ash realize how much she loved her and how much of a perfect match they were. Ash had never felt for anyone the way she felt for this woman. Sure, there was the crush a long time ago, which led her to the discovery of her sexuality, but that other woman had been a lot older, straight and married. Even then, there was never the connection she felt with Scribbs. Never. Scribbs was the only woman that Ash had been intimate with, and she couldn't help but think about how happy she was.

And yet, with the way that her life was at the moment, she couldn't help but feel that something still wasn't right. There was just that nagging feeling that just would not go away. She'd tried to force it out of her mind earlier that night when she was with Rachel, Lucy, and H, and she had for a while, but still, now, she wondered on it.

_When you get to where you wanna go_

_And you know the things you wanna know_

_You're smiling_

_When you said what you wanna say_

_And you know the way you wanna play it_

_You'll be so high you'll be flying_

_Though the sea_

_Will be strong_

_I know we'll_

_Carry on_

_Cause if there's somebody calling me on_

_She's the one_

_If there's somebody calling me on_

_She's the one_

Both women sat listening to the song lyrics, knowing that the song was meant for them. They knew that they would always push and pull each other in any given direction whether or not they wanted to go there. Even with the nagging feeling in the back of her head telling her that there was still something that was going to make things difficult for the pair, Ash felt confident that they could get through it. 'And even if,' Ash thought to herself as the song went into an instrumental portion, 'the road from here on is long and bumpy, I'd rather go down this road with Emma than to not be with her at all.'

Scribbs on the other hand, _knew_ that the next bit would be rough, but she knew that if Ash was aware of just how much she loved her, they would be able to get through it. If they could get through that, then they could definitely go through worse. As long as they were together.

_When you get to where you wanna go_

_And you know the things you wanna know_

_You're smiling_

_When you said what you wanna say_

_And you know the way you wanna play it_

_You'll be so high you'll be flying_

The two detectives looked at each other at the same time, and just then, both of them knew exactly where they were meant to be. Without words, they made further contact, Scribbs almost crawling into Ash's lap as they cuddled together on the couch. Their lips met quickly, and Scribbs hovered over Ash for a second so that they shared the same air. Her first instinct was to say "I love you Ash," but like the night before, she forced herself to change the name, saying "I love you Kate," instead. For some reason, it felt as if saying those three words to 'Ash' instead of 'Kate' was more meaningful, even though they were one and the same. Scribbs couldn't explain this feeling she had then as well as the night before.

Supporting her upper body on one arm, she used the other to touch Ash's cheek and neck. She kissed the brunette again. There was so much she just couldn't say. She wished for the day she'd be able to say them all and have Ash understand.

_I was her_

_She was me_

_We were young_

_We were free_

_If there's somebody calling me on_

_She's the one_

_If there's somebody calling me on_

_She's the one_

Scribbs felt Ash's hands on her sides. They moved from the sides of her breasts down her waist and hip, and then went to unzip the leather jacket, trying to push it off of her wife's shoulders. Scribbs backed out of the kiss for a second to help her out. Not wanting to leave contact for very long, Ash sat up a little to follow. Their lips connected again as Ash's hands moved to the front of Scribbs' shirt and stayed on her breasts.

At the feel of Ash's hands upon her, Scribbs leaned in. She whispered the only thing she could think of that could even come close to saying how she felt. "You're my bliss," she whispered to her, feeling the heat of embarrassment and desire on her face. She then suckled the earlobe into her mouth and left a small nip on it. She felt rather than heard the moan come from her wife, and she began to leave a trail of kisses down her neck. As Scribbs felt Ash move beneath her, only one thought became apparent as she looked into her partner's eyes. When all of this blew up in her face as she knew it would, she would rather spend the rest of her life fighting with Ash than to make love with anyone else. She remembered the movie that little quote had come from, and how one of the characters looked suspiciously like Sullivan. Then she mentally slapped herself for thinking about Sullivan at all while she was making love with Ash. But she knew the quote was true. Scribbs felt that even if Ash didn't forgive her for this whole situation, she'd prefer to spend her life fighting her over it than to have Ash leave her for good. At least when fighting they would be in the same room together. Plus, Ash was pretty damn sexy when she was angry, just not so much when she was angry at her.

_If there's somebody calling me on_

_Yeah she's the one_

_Yeah she's the one_

Scribbs forced herself to stop thinking those thoughts as she ran her hands over Ash's stomach.

_If there's somebody calling me on_

_She's the one_

_She's the one_

Ash felt her shirt join Scribbs' jacket on the floor next to the couch.

_If there's somebody calling me on_

_She's the one_

_She's the one_

Ash gasped when Scribbs' hips moved, forcing her to feel the heat from between her legs on the lower part of her stomach.

_If there's somebody calling me on_

_She's the one_

Looking up at her wife, the brunette saw all she needed to see, and with her help, Scribbs' shirt joined the other articles of clothing on the floor.

_She's the one._


	17. Chapter 17

**WARNING!! This chapter mentions crimes against children. Nothing graphic, but it is here. (Sorry to spoil the chapter, but it needs to be said.)**

Chapter 17

Friday

Scribbs' eyes shot open when she felt an almost violent jerk at her back, where Ash spooned her. "No…" Ash murmured, which caused Scribbs to turn and face her wife. She saw a look of pain, and hoped it wasn't her wrist, even though it'd been fine for the last few days. "Toby." At this, Scribbs went still. She wondered who Toby was, but knew from the tone of her wife's voice that whoever they were, something bad had happened to them.

Scribbs leaned in and called, "ASH!" in to her wife's ear. The brunette jerked awake. She shook and then sat up with a gasped breath. Scribbs placed a hand on Ash's bare chest, feeling her take deep breaths under her fingers. "Shh…" the blonde soothed, waiting as Ash's eyes seemed to focus. Slowly, Scribbs sat up as well.

"Emma…" Ash said, taking Scribbs' hand that rested on her. "I'm scared."

"I'm right here, Kate," Scribbs said immediately, feeling scared herself. Ash had never admitted such a thing to her before. "I'm right here," she repeated. "Wanna talk about it?"

"It was dark, but I kept hearing crying. Me… Crying."

"Do you know why?" Scribbs asked. She may have already known, but she wasn't sure if Ash could remember.

" 'They weren't supposed to die.' I said that."

"Who's 'they'?"

"I don't know," Ash finally admitted after a silence.

"Toby?" Scribbs asked softly, and Ash stayed silent. In the darkness of their room, Scribbs couldn't see her wife's face. "You called out that name," she said.

"I feel I should know that name," Ash said after another moment. "Why else would I say that name in my sleep? Oh God," she whispered suddenly. "What if Toby is dead? What if it's my fault?"

"But what if he's not? What if it was just a dream?" Scribbs wondered.

"It didn't feel like just a dream. I can almost remember it."

"Don't try to force it back, Kate. Lay with me. We can see if it'll come back on its own. Naturally."

"I don't know if I want it to," Ash said slowly, but even as she said this, she moved deeper into Scribbs' arms and sighed, her puff of air creating a breeze of air over Scribbs' skin, causing the nipples to pucker. Under other circumstances, Ash would've taken those nipples into her mouth and made them hers, but she just laid her head there instead.

Not knowing what time it had been when Ash woke them up, Scribbs didn't know how long they lay together in silence. Neither woman went back to sleep, and as the darkened sky gave way to early birds and an attempt at sunlight, Scribbs left the comfort of their bed to make some coffee. She then went to get some pain medication just in case Ash might have needed it. When she got back to their bedroom a few minutes later, she was surprised to see Ash laying out her clothes for the day, and from the looks of it, the brunette was getting ready for work. "I remember a casket," Ash said suddenly. "I cried over a casket as I said those words." She said nothing else as a tear fell down her face, and Scribbs wondered if Ash truly knew who she was crying for.

"Kate," Scribbs murmured. When the DI looked at her, she handed over the mug and watched as Ash took a sip. She wished again that she'd known what to say.

"Thank you, Darling." Ash took another sip, her eyes watching the blonde as she did so. Then she said, "I'm sorry I kept you awake."

"Don't worry about that, Kate. You can make it up to me later," Scribbs responded, trying to get her voice so that it came out a teasing tone. Ash gave a weak smile at that, which was more than what Scribbs had been hoping for. She rubbed Ash's back reassuringly, then she got out her own clothes before going back to the kitchen with Ash's newly emptied mug. When she got back into their room, she could hear the water running. Scribbs debated on whether or not she should join Ash. Part of her felt a little shy about this, since she still sometimes saw Ash as her strict best friend, but then she remembered the shower from a couple of days ago. She grinned and opened the bathroom door.

Ash smiled and held out her hand to help her wife into the shower with her. Without words, the brunette moved so that the water hit Scribbs, then she began to wash her shoulders and front, more as a way to somehow wash away the memories of the night before than as a sexual action. That didn't stop Scribbs' body from reacting to Ash's touch. They took turns washing each other, mostly in silence, then got out of the shower and dressed.

Though it was obvious the memories still lingered throughout breakfast and the drive into work, the brunette's mask slipped into place a little too easily for Scribbs' liking. As Ash smiled and nodded to those who welcomed her back and expressed concern for her absence, Scribbs allowed herself to worry.

Sullivan couldn't hide his surprise when he saw the two women enter their office. He called Scribbs over. The blonde watched as Ash spoke to a couple of colleagues and then went into Sullivan's office,where the broad man was shuffling through a stack of documents, raising a couple at a time up to the light. "Searching for a watermark?" the blonde wondered, and he nodded. There was a bunch of documents that had circulated, which were identical to birth and death certificates and a variety of other papers in every way but one. All of them missed the crucial mark of authenticity, which was the watermark of the origin of the documents. Knowing to look for it made the only flaw in the grand scheme, whatever that may have been for Lincoln Durgrey, the man Sullivan himself had captured.

"Scribbs, why is she here? N-Not that I'm not glad that she's back, but she's still got another nine days of leave." Sullivan asked in order to change the subjest and stick to his reason for calling her into his office.

Scribbs stood next to the chair across from her boss' desk chair and waited for him to look at her before she spoke. "Ash had a nightmare last night that she thinks might be real. My guess is she's not ready to spend today alone."

"What'd she see?"

"A casket. It seems someone died, but she doesn't remember whose funeral it was. I heard her call out Toby, but when I asked her, she didn't know who that was."

"She didn't?" Sullivan's tone made Scribbs study him. He looked shocked that the name came up, as if Ash should have known who Toby was.

"Who is Toby?" she asked after a moment.

Sullivan became quiet as he watched Ash through his office window. Then he walked over to his door and shut it completely, flipping the sign on his door to indicate that he wasn't to be disturbed. At this movement, Scribbs frowned.

"You… you might want to sit down, Scribbs," the man said. Scribbs stared at her boss' back before slowly doing as she was asked. Thousands of possibilities ran through her mind as to who Toby was. Part of her wondered if Toby was a fallen husband or son, and she swallowed nervously. She watched as Sullivan went around to his desk so that he was at his seat and sat down across from her. She didn't like the look on his face at all.

"Boss-"

"Scribbs," he began at the same time, which quieted the DS. "Seven years ago, there was a man named Kenneth Mathews who was on the run from London police for the rape and murder of four children. About five weeks later, two children were found at the primary school with the same mode of operation that linked to this man. Toby Marks was the last one to see both children alive, as they shared the same babysitter, and she was the lead to Mathews." Sullivan thought for a moment, then he began again. "Ash and I were assigned the case. You wouldn't believe it now, but Ash was really good with children. It took Toby a while to open up about the case, and when she did, she would only speak to Ash about what happened to her friends."

"She?"

"Yes. Tabitha Marks, though she preferred to be called Tobias, or Toby, instead... for some reason. She was such a tomboy," Sullivan explained. Scribbs know exactly where this story was going, and she didn't like it one bit, but she knew she needed to understand everything, to help understand her wife and best friend. "Er- Ash and Toby spent a lot of time together over the course of about three or four days before the girl opened up and told us what she'd seen. Mathews had known that Toby saw him talking to her friends and had scared her. I still don't know everything about the case, as Ash hasn't told me." Sullivan stood up after a silence, and he began to pace. "Two days after we began searching for Kenneth, Toby went missing. Her mother was home with her and had been there when she'd been taken. The mother put up a fight, but had in the end been defeated. Toby's older sister had been to a sleepover; otherwise, I'm sure something would have happened to her, too.

"Ash was frantic. I think she'd promised to keep Toby safe, which may have been what helped her get the girl to talk. Two days later…" Sullivan swallowed and couldn't seem to keep his eyes anywhere, "…we found her body in a place we'd searched dozens of times before. Kenneth was mocking us. Ash lost it. I've never seen her so distraught. She was almost as bad off as Toby's mother. Our DCI, Erik Kingsley, told her to take some time off while he worked with me for the rest of the case. She wanted to find Kenneth, but she wasn't in the right mind to do so. That same afternoon, we got a lead, and we went after him with the armed unit. He'd been waiting for us, though. Shots were fired, and DCI Kingsley as well as two London policemen were killed." Sullivan stopped talking and looked down at his hands.

"I'm so sorry," Scribbs said softly, thinking it through.

"I was promoted after Erik's death, and the first thing I did was have Ash take my place, but she refused. She was convinced that she should've died in Kingsley's place, that she would have deserved it if she had. I told her many times how much that wasn't true, but she wouldn't believe me. She left for her parent's place in Market Didsborough, and was on holiday for three months. Only then did she accept the promotion. When I hired you as her DS, I liked your personality and hoped you'd help loosen her up a little bit. In some ways, you have, but after her holiday... she'd changed so much. As soon as she met you, I knew she fancied you right away, and I think that was when she became strict. If you hadn't kept teasing her on it, I'm sure I would have never seen my friend again. But it still gets hard for all of us this time each year, Ash especially. I try to send flowers to possibly help, but she never reads what I put in the cards."

He stopped pacing for a second and then walked to one of the two filing cabinets in his office. He took out a large set of keys and opened it. He then took out a file and put it on the desk in front of Scribbs. "If she had a dream about what happened, then there's not much time before she truly remembers it all. Take this. Go over it alone sometime today so that you're prepared for it, and then show this to her when she starts asking questions. It's going to hurt all over again, but I truly believe that with you, she can finally start to heal from it."

Scribbs stared at the folder in front of her as it if were diseased road kill. "Toby Marks, age nine," Scribbs read out loud. She then felt the pieces start to fall together when she saw the address. Mrs. Marks from Ash's flat was Toby's mother. Looking at the picture inside the folder, she saw a redhead girl in a white cap smiling at the camera. She realized that the young woman in the hallway that day was probably Toby's sister. "She was torturing herself by living there." Scribbs said.

"Yes," was all Sullivan had to say in return.

"All her rules… they were meant to protect me," Scribbs continued incredulously, as if she hadn't heard Sullivan.

"I believe so."

"Because she loves me." Scribbs' voice didn't hide the awe she felt, knowing how strong Ash would have to be to hide all of her secrets without going completely insane. Scribbs couldn't imagine herself being able to do it. Just keeping her own secret from Ash was hard enough, but for Ash to hold in that grief and unrequited love for almost 7 years…

After a moment, Sullivan asked, "Are you alright?"

"Yes," Scribbs responded absently. She then got up and began walking out the door, her mind in somewhat of a daze.

"Scribbs?"

"I'm fine," she said, though she wasn't sure if that was the truth. "I just… Thank you for telling me," Scribbs said. She then walked out of Sullivan's office and headed straight to Ash's desk, where the brunette was sitting. Even before she got to her wife's side, Scribbs noticed the look on her face that, up until now, she'd thought meant that Ash was happy, but she now knew better. It was another mask she'd worn all along. Scribbs knew this now. Only when she saw Scribbs did Ash's face change into a look of pure joy, and the feelings that she'd had for Ash immediately multiplied.

Scribbs couldn't stop her arms from wrapping around Ash from the side, stopping the conversation between the brunette and the colleague. "Er- Hi honey," Ash said somewhat nervously, and Scribbs knew her wife was blushing. "There's a rule about public displays of affection in the work place," she informed her.

"I know," was all Scribbs said as a reply. She let go reluctantly and went to her own desk. When she looked up, the colleague was gone, and she saw a look on Ash's face that seemed to suggest she was seeing Scribbs for the first time. The blonde held her gaze and returned the look with one of her own.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Friday

Everything started to make a little bit more sense to Scribbs when she sat down and thought about it, and she did. A lot. Ash's 'long walks' the week before all this began, the flowers on Ash's desk that she never wanted to talk about, the urgent need to go for drinks, Sullivan's insistence for them to be in each other's company that day Ash fell and his warning to be careful with her… It was there, making a ton of sense, along with why Ash acted the way she often did, the rules that she had placed out of the blue sometimes, but it all made sense to Scribbs now.

She found herself watching Ash closely for any signs of Toby's memory fully coming back, and it wasn't long before her wife noticed how attentive she'd become. "Not that I mind one bit," she had said after commenting on Scribbs' increased affectionate behavior after depositing money into their shared account at the bank. Scribbs hated the fact that she had to practically stalk her wife to make sure she was there when the memory of Toby came back. There was a bit of a plus to it though; sex was amazing. However, after about four days of this, Scribbs backed off a little bit. She decided that since the two of them spent so much time together now as a married couple, the chances were, she'd be there when Ash experienced the worst of it. She just hoped that this new Ash would have the courage to speak to her or come and find her if she, for some reason, wasn't there. Ash had mentioned a couple of times that she had wanted to invite Rachel, H and Lucy over for dinner one night soon, and finding no reason against it, Scribbs found herself being shooed out of the kitchen sometime in the following week after she incorrectly diced something and knicked her finger at the same time. As she went to find something to put on it, she heard the knock at the door.

Ash waited a moment, unsure if Scribbs would get the door or not. When there was nothing, she hurried to open it up for her guests as there was another knock. She smiled at the two older women before looking down at H. Seeing the girl made something in her mind shift as mamories came back to her, and Ash stopped cold. She blinked rapidly for a couple of seconds as tears began to well in her eyes. "Oh Toby," she murmured. She gathered H into a hug and began to cry in earnest now. "Toby, I'm so sorry." Ash's shoulders shook as H's eyes went wide with bewilderment. Even so, the girl hugged her back without saying anything, patting her back a couple times.

"Hey everyone..." Scribbs said, holding her finger in her other hand as she walked into the room. She had a bandage on her finger, but she wanted to squeeze it to make sure the strip stuck to it. She stopped and looked at the scene, then to Lucy, who was watching it as well with one of her slightly thoughtful scowls. "What's happened?"

"Who's Toby?" Rachel asked her at the same time. At this, Scribbs paled slightly, looking back to Ash and H. She walked to her wife, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Kate. That's not Toby," she said gently. Ash slowly leaned back to look at H and slowly let go of the girl, who swallowed and took a small step backwards. The brunette blinked, feeling a sadness that she couldn't ever remember feeling, even in childhood when her beloved horse, her only friend then, had died. She felt the guilt and grief, fresh as if the wounds were new. She knew that they weren't.

"H," she said simply. She looked at the girl's guardians, feeling embaressed at what she had just done, but no one else spoke as Scribbs continued to rub her back. Ash looked to her wife as more tears came, and in one quick movement, she found herself in Scribbs' arms.

The blonde glanced over her wife's shoulder at H to see what it was about her that had triggered Toby's memory night that. She saw the resemblance immediately. H wore a white T-shirt with a vibrant blue butterfly in the middle of it, and jeans that were faded and well worn. On her head was a blue cap to match. Scribbs could understand why Ash would mistake the two. "I'm sorry, but I think you should go," Scribbs said regretfully after a moment, mostly to Rachel, as if this would somehow answer her question.

"What's happening?" H asked, trying her best not to look hurt and scared, both emotions on her face and in her voice regardless.

"She's remembering an old case," Scribbs replied. "You did nothing wrong," she added in her attempt to reassure the girl. H nodded, but she didn't seem convinced.

"Come on. I hope thing'll be alright," Lucy said, looking from Scribbs to the woman in the blonde's arms. She placed a hand on H's shoulder, but the preteen shurgged her off and walked towards the door.

"We'll reschedual," Scribbs promised.

H hesitated before saying softly, "Bye." Scribbs felt really bad. She could tell that H had been looking forward to the night. As the door closed behind Rachel, who was the last to leave after a sympathetic look and a small wave of departure, Scribbs continued to comfort her wife.

"How much do you remember?" Scribbs asked, though she wasn't sure how prepared she or Ash were for talking about it.

"It... Its taking a bit, but the more I think about it, the more I seem to remember. Oh Emma," Ash said as she tightened her grip a little bit.

"Let's sit down and you can tell me what you can," Scribbs suggested. She felt Ash nod slightly, and they went to the kitchen table. Ash was quiet for quite some time before she began to speak again.

Ash went on for over an hour, telling Scribbs about the case and how she'd felt uneasy about the whole thing from the start, to her slowly built friendship with Toby Marks. She spared Scribbs the details of the murders, but the blonde had already seen the photos from the file, and she knew them already. Ash told her about how the girl hadn't spoken to her until after she'd promised that things would be alright. When it turned out that it wasn't true, Ash couldn't let go of the guilt. "I know that even now... Its still fresh in my mind, like it happened only days ago," she said. Scribbs wanted to tell her that it was still fresh to her because she had never dealt with that guilt of Toby and DCI Kingsley's death, and she told herself that she would help her wife with that however she could.

Suddenly, after wiping away the last batch of tears, Ash asked, "Why didn't you tell me any of this? You know, try and help me remember it?" The question didn't seem accusitory, just curious.

"I didn't..." Scribbs started to say, void of the right words, 'know,' she finished to herself. "I wasn't sure how much of your memory would come back and when, so if you remembered anything, I wanted those memories to be yours, not something I told you that you're supposed to remember. If I gave you a bunch of memories, especially this one, at the same time you'd gotten your own memories back, I don't want to think about what that might've done to you." Scribbs looked away at this lie. "Besides," she continued, "part of me just didn't want you to remember-"

"But I needed to remember this. Without that memory, I wouldn't be nearly as good at my job," Ash told her.

They stayed in silence for a long time after that as more tears came. Scribbs mumbled out, "I'll get some tea," and then went to do just that. When about ten minutes later, she came back in, she saw her wife staring at Upy's tank, watching as he swam about. Scribbs set the tea before them, tough neither one of them touched it. The blonde had one question, but part of her already knew the answer. "Did you ever say goodbye to Toby? To DCI Kingsley?"

"I couldn't face her family, and I ran off to my parents'," Ash replied, playing with one of the teabags.

"And then you moved in with Toby's mother as your landlady," Scribbs said in a voice that clearly stated her confusion. "If she'd let you move in, I don't think she blames you for what happened."

"She didn't recognise me," Ash said, but Scribbs doubted that was true from the way Mrs. Marks had spoken about her when the blonde got her mail.

"Kate," Scribbs started, unsure how Ash would react to her next set of words, "its time to say goodbye. Six or seven years is too long to hold on to this sort of thing, don't you think? It's done nothing to help."

The brunette seemed uncertain, but she nodded after a moment, knowing that what her wife was saying was the truth. "I need to apologise to H, too. I scared her, I know I did."

"One thing at a time, Love."

"Yeah," Ash replied as Scribbs reached across the table, extending her hand to her. The brunette only trailed her index finger along Scribbs' palm. Scribbs looked at the clock. It was nearing seven thirty.

"Are you hungry at all? We can heat up supper," she offered, but Ash shook her head.

"I think I'd rather go to bed," the brunette said. Scribbs nodded.

"You go get in bed and I'll clean up here," the blonde said. She gave her wife a swift kiss and watched as she went to their bedroom. She then cleaned up the tea. She went on from there to put food away into containers and washed the dishes. Cleaning up took almost a half an hour to do. It might have taken longer if Ash hadn't cleaned as she cooked.

Scribbs was surprised to see that Ash was still awake in bed, though she wasn't sure why she was. The blonde changed into night clothes and slipped into bed next to her wife, who immediately shifted so that the two were holding eachother. "I think you're right, Darling," Kate murmured once the light went out, "It is time to say goodbye. To let go of the pain and to move on... But I will never forget. Not again."

Scribbs was quiet for a long time before she asked, "Are you guilty now, because you forgot them?"

"I should never have-"

"No, Kate. Don't. You lost the memery when you fell. That wasn't your fault. All that matters now is that their spirits and memories stay with you."

"Yeah. You're right. I'm being silly, but I just feel that something like that should never have been forgotten, no matter what the circumstances were." Ash snuggled deeper into Scribbs.

"Do you remember where they are buried?"

"No," Ash replied after a moment, as if she had taken the time to think about it, to search through these new memories, "did I ever tell you?"

"Yes," Scribbs lied, making a mental note to call Sullivan and ask him in the morning. "I'll take you there tomorrow. We can get flowers from Lucy and Rachel's flower shop, and you can talk to them all then before we pay our respects."

"I'd like that," Ash replied sleepily. The two women fell into a calmer silence as they started to fall asleep, Scribb stoking her wife's shoulder. Only when she saw Ash's eyes close did she let herself sleep as well.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Saturday

*I struggled with this chapter for over three months, and it really shows. I know this chapter is strained and probably doesn't flow as well as some of the other chapters, but please forgive me. Hopefully chapter twenty is better by far.*

The next morning, Scribbs woke up first and snuck away to ring Sullivan, who sounded sleepy. She felt bad for waking him up, as it was still pretty dark outside. Granted, it was also a little cloudy out, but it was still too early to be making phone calls. Once She informed him that Ash remembered Toby, Sullivan seemed to wake up, telling her on a couple of occasions that he was glad she called him. They spoke briefly, Scribbs telling her boss about the night before, and then asking him where both Toby and DCI Kingsley were buried so that they could go pay respects.

"You're actually taking her there?"

"It's a first step to saying goodbye and for Ash to heal from what happened to them."

"Good. Its well past time," Sullivan responded. They said goodbye and then Scribbs went back to the bedroom, where she saw that Ash was still asleep. She hesitated, and was tempted to go back to sleep with her wife. Instead, she went to get ready for the day that lay ahead. She was halfway through getting her clothes on when Ash shifted to a sitting position. Scribbs went to the bed and kissed her wife.

"Good morning," Scribbs said. When her wife didn't reply right away, she continued, "I thought maybe we could go out for breakfast. Lucy and Rachel don't open the shop until eleven on Saturdays."

"That sounds fine," Ash replied slowly. Scribbs rubbed the brunette's back before she left the bedroom and put her shoes on. She smirked at the fact that 'old Ash' would have had words with her about that, seeing as she was still in the flat.

Once Ash was out of the shower and dressed, they left the flat and made it to one of Ash's favorite restaurants. They were silent at the table as they ordered and ate, but Scribbs was comforted when Ash absently reached for her hand about halfway through and held it, forcing her to eat her breakfast with one hand.

The restaurant was less than a mile away from the flower shop their friends owned, so the two detectives walked, which seemed to help Ash. As soon as they got to the street the flower shop was on, they saw H right away, carrying a water tin and a broom with her. When the girl looked their way, she waved to them. "Miss Ash 'n' Scribbs are here! Do I have to do this now?" she called to those inside.

There wasn't a reply, but Rachel's head was seen peeking out of the shop, as if she didn't believe that their new friends really were there and that H had used it as an excuse to get out of doing work. Rachel smiled at them, unsure of what to say to them.

"Hi," Scribbs said, waving back. When Ash and Scribbs made it to them all three of them went into the shop, where Lucy was looking over something in a catalog of some sort and marking it up. She looked up and gave them a weak smile, though the tension of the night before hung all around.

"Are you better today?" H was the first to ask. Ash looked down at the girl and nodded.

"Yeah."

H was silent for a second as she picked at her shirt for something invisible. "I think... I think you're lying," the girl stated carefully, as if afraid she would get in trouble for her words.

"Yeah, I am. I'm sorry," Ash responded. "I was actually hoping that I might talk to you about what happened last night. If it's okay with you and Rachel and Lucy,"Ash added.

"It's fine with me," Rachel said slowly, looking from Ash to Scribbs.

"We can walk a bit if you like," H offered, and Ash nodded gratefully.

"Darling, I'll go with H, and you can tell Rachel and Lucy here." It was Scribbs' turn to nod. Ash and H left then, and walked around the corner. After a moment, H put her hands in her pockets nervously "I want to apologize to you, H," Ash started off. "I know that my behavior last night must have scared or hurt you. I need you to know that it wasn't your fault that I acted that way towards you." The brunette waited for something else to come to her, for something else to say right away. She really just wanted to see what H would say to her words, if she would share something about the night before that might be necessary to talk about.

H was quiet for another moment as they rounded another corner, then she said, "I've been thinking about it. Scribbs told us that you were remembering an old case. Never in my entire life did I want to be anyone more than I wanted to be Toby so that I could tell you that it was alright, that..." H's hands left her pockets and she gestured, lifting them up and then letting them fall to her sides.

"I appreciate that," Ash said with a small smile when the girl couldn't seem to continue. "We'll have to get together again to make up for it." H nodded. The brunette thought of something and reached into her pocket for the small photo Scribbs had given her the night before while they had talked about the case. She swallowed as she glanced at it, and then she slowly handed the picture to the girl at her side, who took it as if it were a fragile egg. She stopped walking then, and Ash followed suit, watching as H stared for a long time at the photo.

"She must have been a lot like me."

"Yes. You and she would probably have been good friends had you been the same age."

"I'm sorry she's dead," H said after another moment. The brunette could hear the waver in her voice, and she saw tears well in her eyes, but they had yet to fall. Ash nodded as a tear of her own fell silently.

"Me too," the detective said. She was surprised when H suddenly latched onto her in a hug, and she put an arm around her in return.

"I'm sure it's not your fault. You're a really good person, Miss Ash."

Ash didn't know what to say to that. She wanted to tell H that good people made mistakes too, but that wasn't really a conversation she wanted to have with the girl. Silence fell between them as they walked around the square, leading them back to the flower shop.

Meanwhile, Scribbs stood awkwardly next to Rachel as Lucy helped a custumer who had come in just as Ash and H had stepped out. After suggesting azaleas, the woman paid and left happy. When Lucy looked expectantly at Scribbs, the blonde detective said, "Ash remembered an old case last night. That wasn't a lie. It was one of those cases that you sort of wish you could forget, but are grateful to its memory because it reminds you why you do what we do everyday. Unfortunately, H happened to resemble someone from Ash's past."

"Is she okay?" Rachel asked.

"I think she will be."

"Can I ask a question?" Lucy asked, and Scribbs nodded.

"When we first met you as a customer to the shop, you spoke about Ash as a friend, but-"

"But then you introduced her as your wife the other night," Rachel finished.

Scribbs took in a deep breath and decided in that split moment that she would speak the truth. She looked outside to make sure Ash wasn't anywhere near them. Then she walked back inside. "It's a rather complicated situation. If I could tell you everything I would. When Ash woke up after her coma, she thought we were married. Some of her memories of us mixed with her daydreams of us, and it confused her." Scribbs looked at the door when she heard voices, but she only saw two teenagers singing Celine Dion and laughing at each other. "At first, I went along with it to help her get better. She was so happy... But I... I..." Scribbs realized that she was about to say out loud that she'd fallen in love with Ash, but she felt that her partner should be the first to know this, as soon as she regained all of her memories of their true relationship.

"You said so the other night that you're married where it counts," Lucy said. Scribbs looked at her and smiled with her relief evident on her face.

"Yeah, we are." She said. Scribbs thought on this for a second. She liked the way that sounded, and she hoped she remembered to remind Ash of that once she remembered whom she really was.

"Has any of her other memories come back?"

"She's got a few, yeah, but not as much as the doctor hoped. We all thought she'd remember all of the important things by now."

"She remembered her love for you," Lucy said, and Scribbs nodded.

All three women looked up when they heard Ash and H speaking to each other before they both entered the shop. "H forgives me," Ash said with a small smile.

"H had nothing to forgive," the girl countered, giving Ash one last hug before letting her go. "If you want, I can help you pick out flowers for Toby," H offered. The brunette followed the girl around the shop. Scribbs watched them as Rachel went to the back for something and Lucy helped an elderly man who wanted a small bouquet of flowers for his caregiver's birthday.

A few minutes later, Ash had two small bouquets of red and yellow flowers. The two detectives stood before Rachel, H, and Lucy, a small silence between them as Ash paid for the flowers, insisting even after Lucy told her they were on the house. Then Scribbs finally said, "We've got plenty of food from last night-"

"I'll be there," H cut in, suddenly animated, as if she had been waiting for the invitation for a while. Scribbs laughed.

"Glad to hear it," she said. She looked at H's guardians and they nodded.

"We'll be by, say seven?" Lucy asked, checking around the shop as if to process how long it would take for them to close up. H jumped and made a 'yee' type sound of excitement.

"Alright. Seven," Ash confirmed. She smiled at the girl.

Scribbs looked around for a notebook and written down their address when H suddenly called out, "Oh!" as if to just remember something, "Do you have a VCR?"

"Yeah, why?" Scribbs wondered as Rachel and Lucy both had looks of slight dread about them.

"You'll see." H then walked to them to the door of the shop, and after saying goodbye, she picked up the broom and began to sweep the sidewalk.

Ash and Scribbs walked hand in hand back to the car and drove off to the cemetery where both Erik Kingsley and Toby Marks were buried. Being closer to the entrance, they went to Toby's gravesite first, and they stood a moment in silence.

Scribbs wanted Ash to talk a little more about it all, but she wasn't sure if then was the right time. Ash let go of Scribbs' hand before she went to her knees, gently picking at the grass that had grown around the plot with Toby's name on it. Then she put the flowers there. "These are from H more than they're from me. I think you'd like her. She's a lot like you were." Ash was silent for a moment as her tears fell, and Scribbs took one deliberate step towards her wife, making a little bit of noise to remind her that she was there for her. "I'm sorry I've not been by. I didn't want to face the fact that you're gone, that I had lied to you. I said it was going to be alright... and it wasn't. I still let that beast hurt you. I couldn't face it, Toby. I couldn't face it, but I should've come by, anyway. I know that you would've wanted me to." There was another short silence before Ash said, "I'm sorry." She stood then, backing up a couple of steps and reaching behind her. Seeing this, Scribbs took her wife's hand and together they stood.

After a few more very long minutes, Ash tugged on Scribbs' hand, and the blonde was surprised when she ended up being led to Erik Kinsley's plot. Unlike at Toby's gravesite, Ash remained standing and silent, the tears on her face a constant stream. Scribbs knew that her wife still felt she deserved that plot instead. She didn't know how she would've felt if this were something that happened to her, if Sullivan were to have sent her home and then gone after a suspect in her place, only to get killed on the job.

Scribbs heard whispers from Ash, and she knew that the brunette was saying a prayer as she'd seen her do before when they'd gone to a couple of funerals together. They stayed a little bit longer after that before Ash felt she was ready to go. They made it home, where the silence continued as they worked together to clean the flat. At about six-thirty, Ash prepared to put the leftover food in the cooker while Scribbs put a pinch of fish food into Upy's tank.

About twenty minutes later, there was a knock at the door, and Scribbs went to answer it. She was attacked by H, and she almost fell over by the force of the preteen's hug. "Ung- Hey," Scribbs said. "I didn't know you were that happy to see us."

"Of course I am!"

"She's been bouncy the last two hours or so," Rachel explained with a smile. When her sister went on to hug Ash with the same force, Rachel leaned forward to hug Scribbs. Scribbs was surprised to receive a hug from Lucy as well. The redhead gave a sort of 'everyone's doing it' shrug as she backed away to give Ash a hug as well. Then as a joke, she turned and gave H a hug, as she was the closest to her.

"Hugs for all," Lucy said as H wriggled her way out of her aunt's grasp.

"I brought a tape," H announced, holding up the said item. "I thought we'd watch it after we eat."

"Sure, what is it?"

" 'Whose Line Is It Anyway?', the American version," H responded with a grin as both Rachel and Lucy made the familiar faces from earlier that day. "I thought we could use a laugh," she explained. Ash smiled at the thoughtfulness of the girl, and she seemed to like that idea.

"Thank you. That is really thoughtful," the brunette said. She went back into the kitchen to get the food out of the cooker. "You're just in time," Ash told her guests.

The five sat down to eat, H seated happily between Lucy and Ash, and the conversation was light, mostly about the flower shop and H's friends and family back in London. After they ate and this time Rachel helped with clean up, the five settled in on the sofa or the floor to watch the two episodes Heck had recorded while living with a friend of his in Philadelphia. H had explained that he would record an episode once a week when he wasn't busy and send it to her with his weekly letter, and if he could find the whole set in one place, that he would buy it for her. She knew that he was just being nice, as he could have easily found it on the Internet, but she liked that he took the time to record the show for her, advertisements and everything. ("It's not only the improv itself I like, but the adverts are funny, too," she'd said.) The evening stayed pretty mellow after H's initial jittery behavior. She settled down a bit during the TV show, distracted by the antics of the Colin Mocherie/Ryan Styles duo. Afterwards, Scribbs had found a deck of character cards from when Marcie had visited, and they spent an hour teaching each other card games. It was almost ten before Lucy decided they should go, and they all said goodbye, Rachel holding on to their own Tupperware with new leftovers in it. Ash and Scribbs locked up and joined each other in bed.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Thursday

Sullivan was the first to comment on Ash's new changes. Though the brunette was always confident and tall in her stride into work, there was definitely something different since the visit to the cemetery to say goodbye. Other people also commented on the difference in attitude, to which Ash would always reply, "I'm happy." The same could be said for Scribbs, though in her case she knew that it was because married life with Ash suited her so well. This scared her only because she knew that soon it would end, and the not knowing when worried her. She always tried to push that aside. She didn't want to be without Ash now that she knew what it felt like to be in love, even if it was only a matter of time before it got taken away.

Ash and Scribbs were on their way back from an inquiry, their conversation going from predictions about the murderer's possible motives to playful banter over Clue-like conclusions, when Ash had turned her mobile on to see that her brother had called. She checked the answerphoneand laughed at the voice of slight panic. David wasn't in any real distress, but he claimed he needed to get away from the pratts he worked with. He topped his offer off with a promise to bring pictures from the park. Ash called David back and they spoke for a few minutes. After a quick question and a 'Yeah' from Scribbs, Ash invited her brother over for dinner, which he gladly accepted. Scribbs noticed that she'd had more dinner guests over in the last two weeks than she had in a year. Having Ash over the many times she had didn't count, as Scribbs never cooked for her.

That night, David came by, a thick envelope in one hand and take away in the other. "I knew there was a reason I liked you," Scribbs said, helping David by taking the food and his arm, leading him inside.

"Hi Sis," David said playfully to Scribbs with a kiss on the cheek. David may have used a teasing nickname, but Scribbs could tell that the sentiment was genuine, and this made her redden a little bit. "Katie," he said, moving to Ash to give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek as well. Scribbs took out the Chinese food and divided the entrées into separate dishes while Ash got the silverware and wine.

"You couldn't wait until tomorrow to come by, huh? Had to escape before the week ended?" Scribbs asked playfully, pouring wine into the three glasses. David made a face, which caused Ash to laugh at her brother.

"Not a day goes by where I don't want to quit," he said bitterly.

"I'm sorry. It must be rough to be in a position where your dream job is no longer desirable," Scribbs said carefully. David shrugged.

"I thought about looking into a couple of publishing companies. You know, take pictures for book covers and such."

At this, Ash's wine glass paused on its way to her lips. "Have you tried for that yet, or is this still in the thinking stage?"

"No, not yet. It's only been a thought so far."

"I'd definitely look into it. From what I understand, it is a slower pace than 'Hello' is," Ash said encouragingly, and David smiled. He let out a sigh as he sank a little more into his chair.

"So how is work going for you two?"

"Same sort of thing all the time," Ash said. "If Emma wasn't my partner, I'm sure it'd be a lot worse." For the second time in minutes, Scribbs blushed.

"It's gotta be nice to have your wife also be someone you work closely with as well," David said before he took a large bite of noodles.

"I always heard it wasn't a good idea, that work and personal issues tend to run together, but it works for us so far," Scribbs added in, and Ash nodded in agreement.

The Ashursts and Scribbs continued their talk of work and love (or in David's case, the lack thereof) as they finished off the food and then went into the living room, where David opened the envelope with the pictures from Britannia Park. Scribbs found herself liking the flower shots, being exposed to a lot of greenery since Ash's fall, but when the stack got to shots of her and her wife together, she was surprised by how vibrant David had manage to make them seem.

"Did you develop these in your dark room?" Ash asked, handing Scribbs the close up picture of their joined hands. She received a nod from her brother. Ash paused as she stared at the most beautiful image she had ever seen. Unknown to either detective, David had captured a private moment between them, a kiss that had been shared. Ash's eyes were closed, her hair in a ponytail with a few escaped strands down the side of her face. She handed the photo to Scribbs, who let out a soft 'wow'.

The next picture was even more amazing than the last. In that same moment, David had captured a picture of Scribbs' hand to Ash's face to tuck the said strands behind the brunette's ear. Ash's eyes were downcast with a somewhat shy smile, and anyone could tell that a blush was soon to show on her cheeks. Ash handed that picture to her wife as well, impressed with them both. As the photo passed from one detective to the other, their eyes caught each other almost as if to recreate the moment before Scribbs looked away with a smile of her own.

"You're too cute together," David remarked playfully, and Ash gave him a Look. Neither Ashurst sibling said anything after that, as if they weren't in the mod for banter, which was a shame, as the two together amused Scribbs. Somehow, the conversation went to their past, and the banter slowly came back as they argued over the stories and how they should be told. Scribbs was surprised at just how rebellious Ash was as a teen during summers away from school. Granted, most of the time it was because of David, but Ash had a couple of stories to tell as well, from sneaking off to see friends in the middle of the night to the time she had a high speed chase on horseback after she'd been caught looking in Victor Garrison's daughter's bedroom. That was our father's boss at the time," David added for Scribbs' benefit.

"Kate, I never took you for a peeping tom," the blonde said, which caused her wife to blush. "What I wanna know, Scribbs began, "is how you all didn't know she was gay after that incident."

"Well, he had a son also, about three years older than the daughter, and we thought she had just gotten the wrong window," David explained.

"But I was there for about a half an hour before anyone caught me," Ash said, and if Scribbs wasn't mistaken, there was a hint of pride in her voice.

"Should I be jealous?" Scribbs asked playfully.

"Never, Darling," Ash replied, grabbing her wife's hand.

"Good, because otherwise, I would have to hunt her down and smack her around a little," Scribbs decided. A couple of hours (and many stories of Ashurst hijinx) later, David looked at his watch.

"Oh, I better head off. Last train of the night, see. I'll be late getting home as it is. It really was nice to see you two again. You've really kept my mind off of work."

"Look into the publishing idea or even freelance work," Ash suggested. "Weddings and other events. It may not pay as much as working for the magazine, but you're better off working on your own, I mean, look at these!" Ash said, taking another look at the photos David had brought with him. The younger Ashurst smiled with the praise, and he divided some of the photos so Ash and Scribbs got to keep the two they loved the most, as well as a few of the floral shots from the park. Ash wished that H had been there. She wondered what she would have looked like in the moments David would have caught of the girl.

The three of them all stood up at the same time. "Thanks for the encouragement, Katie. Walk me out?" David asked after giving Scribbs another hug. Ash nodded and the two left the flat, David's arm draped over his sister's shoulders. Scribbs went about cleaning up, and then she looked at the pictures. She noticed David's jacket draped around the char back, and she went to the window overlooking the street.

"You forgot your jacket!" she called down.

"Go ahead and drop it down. I'll catch it."

"I doubt that. I've seen you play cricket," Ash quipped.

"I think I can catch a falling jacket," David said somewhat sourly. Scribbs let out a laugh as she dropped the jacket, watching as Ash reached out and caught it with one hand. Something fell out of the pocket when she did, and it fell into the shrubs. "It's alright," David said quickly as Ash went to get it, "its just a receipt."

"Its littering if we don't pick it up," Ash replied, bending to get it. She looked at the paper, realizing that it was a photo. She squinted at it, seeing that it was exactly like one of the photos David had shown them of her and Scribbs on a couch together, only the one she now held had Ash alone.

"Oh!" David laughed. "I forgot about that picture. I did that as a joke with the Photoshop program. I wanted to put in Jennifer Aniston and show it to you, but I couldn't find one of her that matched to look as if she was sitting by you." David watched with a flicker of horror as Ash stared at it.

"You should have used Nicole Kidman. I like her far better. Even so, I'd have to tell her that I'm a happily married woman. Can I keep this?"

"Er- yeah." David said quickly, unsure why her sister would want it.

"Thank you," she said. Ash hugged her brother. "Be safe on your way back," she called after David as he walked towards the busses. Slowly, she walked back into the flat.

"Are you alright?" Scribbs asked upon seeing her slightly distracted wife.

"Yes," Ash replied absently. "My brother's weird." There was a pause as Scribbs watched her. "Well, he is," the brunette insisted, showing her wife the photo. She told her what had happened downstairs. Scribbs tried her best not to pale.

A few hours later, Scribbs woke up to find her wife wasn't beside her. A glance at the clock on her bedside table told her that she had at least a couple of hours before she needed to be up. She heard nothing in the bathroom and slowly, the blonde sat up, the blanket uncovering her naked torso. She slipped into a shirt and pants fro the night before, which had been tossed to the end of the bed, and went to the living room, where she saw her wife, hair a mess and in her robe. Scribbs was about to ask why she was up when Ash's gaze met hers, and the question she had been dreading was finally asked. "We're not really married, are we, Scribbs?" The use of her nickname was a punch in the chest.

The blonde wanted to say that they were and then to ask what made her think otherwise, but one look into Ash's eyes told her that she was remembering everything, even as she sat there watching her. Looking into Ash's eyes told her that she was about to lose her. "No... We aren't."


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Friday

Ash was glad she was sitting down when the blonde told her that they weren't really married. "What was this, then? Therapy after my fall?" Scribbs wanted to say something, but she couldn't seem to. She stared at Ash as the brunette stared down at the coffee table, where two copies of the same picture were, one with Scribbs in it, and one without. "I should have known that something was wrong," Ash continued in a murmur, more to herself than to the blonde beside her. "This whole time since I got out of the hospital I knew that there was something that... was just not right. I knew something was missing, but I hoped that it would go back to normal... After a while, things were better between us. Almost perfect. It all makes sense now." She sat in silence, and Scribbs tried to force out the words she needed to say, that she loved Ash, and at first it was a little awkward before the feelings started. The blonde opened her mouth many times, kicking herself for not finding the words to say, for making it worse for not saying anything.

Ash let out an unlady-like chortle, a noise of false amusement and pain. "The night we fought when you said that we weren't married... I thought you were just trying to hurt me for what I'd said, but..." Realization marked her face as she said, "And that man. He really was your date!" Ash seemed disgusted by the very thought of it, and Scribbs took a step closer to her to reassure her. She tried to reach for the brunette's hand, but Ash stood up and walked a couple of steps away from her. Scribbs stopped moving immediately when she saw this, and noticed that Ash had her hands together, her index and thumb fingers grasping her wedding band.

Scribbs took in a deep breath and forced herself to let go of the fear surrounding the words she needed to say, knowing that the fear of losing Ash to her silence was far greater. She was sure something was crawling around in her chest as she began to speak. "It doesn't matter now, Kate. It doesn't. I love you," Scribbs said, and her voice lowered as she went on, "I fell in love with you-"

"No," Ash cut her off with a shake of her head. This was an unexpected response. Ash's hands nervously played with the wedding ring as she seemed to think this over, and murmured, "You couldn't have." She looked around the flat, seeing a mix and match of her and Scribbs' things. She knew why they never bought anything together because they never did, except for poor Upy, who didn't know what was going on between the two women who owned him. As the realization of what all had gone on in the past month came to her, her cheeks reddened. "You sacrificed your home, your time, your- your bed... All to make sure that I was okay so that I didn't-" Ash couldn't finish the sentence, because she didn't know what she would or wouldn't have done in the state she had been in, had Scribbs not been there as her wife, especially when the brunette had begun to remember Toby.

"It's hardly a sacrifice if you love someone, Ash. That is what marriage is," Scribbs said softly. Ash looked down at the ring on her finger and slowly pulled it off, as if what the blonde had said was the only thing she needed to hear to make up her mind. Scribbs watched with a pounding heart as the brunette took the steps necessary to stand directly before her.

As she placed the ring in the blonde's hands, Ash murmured, "But we aren't married, Scribbs." With that, Ash stepped past her and, too hurt to speak, Scribbs could only stand there, staring at the golden band in her palm. She barely registered the sound of the bedroom door closing.

The blonde couldn't help but to feel like Frodo, holding a golden ring in the palm of her open hand, the weight of it almost too much to bare. Just the fact that this analogy came to her mind at all reminded her that she had been reading too many of her niece's Elijah Wood-obsessed emails. Still, she felt it to be true. She let her fingers curl around the metal, feeling how warm it still was from Ash's hand. Her mind screamed over and over again those same words Lucy had used to describe both the relationship between their friends as well as her own relationship with Ash.

_'We're married where it counts!' _Scribbs couldn't seem to move, to go to Ash and to say those very words. She felt as if it was too late to tell her this, even though the brunette was only in the next room. She was sure that Ash wouldn't believe her if she tried- she was so stubborn- and she wasn't even sure if it would make the situation better or worse if she had.

Once Ash felt safe away from Scribbs' puppy-dog eyes, she sighed deeply as tears fell. She wasn't sure which emotion she felt more: heartbroken or humiliated. She had spent the last few weeks on the stage of a play she hadn't known she was the star of, a pantomime of the life she'd once had and the life she wanted. All of these feelings of returned love and those memories of a married life were false. All that she really had to go on of things that had happened were the last few weeks after her fall, and even that was an act. Ash's face went red again. "God, I practically jumped my best friend in the shower, and then again that night," she said to herself, embarrassed by her behavior. 'And Scribbs had put up with it because she hoped it would somehow help me get better. Am I the first woman she'd ever slept with?' she asked herself, remembering the slow and tentative ways Scribbs had touched her. At the time, she thought the blonde had been afraid of hurting her, but now she knew better.

The fact that Scribbs now knew the brunette's two most guarded pieces of herself made Ash feel a hundred times more vulnerable than she had ever been at the hospital, and she wasn't sure how she was to handle this. Ash never wanted Scribbs to know about her unrequited love for her or about how deeply the death of Toby Marks had affected her. Over the course of only weeks, Scribbs learned things about her that even her family never knew, her routines and small idiosyncrasies that she hoped to forever keep hidden, yet Scribbs had witnessed all of it simply by being her wife for a while.

What had hurt the most was what Scribbs had said there in the living room, that she had fallen in love with her. Ash wanted more than anything to believe it with all of her heart, with her soul, but she feared that Scribbs had fallen into this role out of necessity and over time had forgotten that it wasn't real, their new roles in each other's lives. She didn't want to trap Scribbs by those words and make her feel badly if, in another couple of weeks, she decides she didn't quite feel the way she thought she did when they were 'married'. Ash kept her eyes away from the messied sheets and blankets on the bed as she got out the small suitcase Scribbs had brought to her in the hospital and began packing some of her clothes. She left out some for herself for the day, and as she saw the time on the alarm clock, and she knew she needed to pack a little more later so that Scribbs would have time to shower as well.

She hurried into the shower herself and went about her morning routine, but her mind was filled of images of them together as she supposed it always will be, whether it be a memory of the last month or so, or more of those silly daydreams that she suspected got her into this to begin with. She stopped her mind from remembering her and Scribbs making love, taking baths together, dancing in the living room, or even doing mundane things like cleaning the flat or watching television together. After experiencing those weeks with Scribbs, whether or not the blonde had been pretending to love her in return, Ash was surprised by how different her daydreams were, the ones she had confused with reality. She was surprised by how reality had proven to be so much better than anything she could come up with in a daydream, and that hurt. At these thoughts, Ash hurried and she got out, afraid of lingering at the flat for too long and eventually changing her mind. She changed quickly into her clothes and packed a little more before leaving the room. She was surprised to see Scribbs right outside the door, and she slithered along the opposite wall in attempt not to touch her, even though her heart and body wanted nothing more than to do just that.

Scribbs, on the other hand, barely looked up when the brunette walked past her. She wanted to, but she'd seen the suitcase in her hand and feared breaking down. Once Ash was out of the small hallway, she turned into the bedroom. She got her own clothes ready, and she, too, looked at the bed, staring longingly as she wished for the last twelve hours to rewind. Part of her was angry at David for having both photos on him the night before, and allowing for Ash to find them and figure things out, but she knew she was just as much to blame. Had she known the photo was there, she would have taken it out of the jacket before tossing it down. Even if she had done any of those 'if only' scenarios, she knew that Ash's memories would have come back regardless. She should have found a way to tell Ash that they weren't married, and she was going to, but she wanted a few more memories to come back first, and she was being selfish, wanting to say with Ash longer.

As Scribbs took her own shower, her body felt numb, and she saw over again the suitcase in Ash's hand and the way the brunette feared touching her. She screamed at herself again for not saying something in hopes of changing her mind, but nothing came to her then, either, and she'd remained silent. She had far too much to say, and it was trying to come out all at once, causing a traffic jam on the way from her heart and mind to her mouth. It was as if her heart and mind weren't communicating with each other and Scribbs wasn't speaking at all as a result. Because of this, she knew that she would lose Ash for good. At this thought, Scribbs pounded her fist into the tile and hurt her pinky finger. Scribbs didn't care, though. She didn't want for Ash to go. She didn't want this married life she helped build a few weeks ago to end. She wanted it to last the rest of their lives, just as Ash had intended.

About halfway through her shower, the water went cold, and she silently cursed Ash for taking the hot water, but felt badly immediately afterwards. She forced herself to painfully think of their lovemaking the night before just so she could finish washing her hair. She got out of the shower quickly, and as she was drying off, she felt her own wedding band slip off a little bit. Scribbs stared at it before she slowly but surely took it completely off and set it on the wardrobe, where she had placed Ash's ring only moments before. Together, with one slanted over the other, the rings looked like they belonged in the perfect wedding photo, and Scribbs swallowed before she dressed and left the room.

As soon as Ash saw her, she said, "I'm going to need a ride into work today. It's too late to call for a cab." The brunette was packing up a couple of her CD's as she spoke.

"Yes, of course," Scribbs replied, but it sounded dry and choked. She cleared her throat softly and said again, "Of course."

"I should have all of my things out of your flat by the end of the weekend," Ash continued, and there was no doubt there in her voice. Scribbs watched as Ash moved about, getting as much as she could carry. The brunette's spine was straight and her movements were ridged. Scribbs could see all rules and boundaries back in place. Ash and Scribbs were colleagues and nothing more, and the blonde knew with a deep sadness that to the brunette, she was no longer Emma.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Already, Scribbs didn't like the silence between them in the car. Of course, this wasn't the first silence- or even awkward silence they'd been in together, but usually the tension was broken by a conversation about work or men, or if they felt they must remain in silence, it was usually comfortable. Scribbs knew and understood that anything she said wouldn't have made things better, especially since all she wanted to do was talk about that morning, something they didn't have enough time to do, anyway. Even if they weren't running late, her ability to speak left much to be desired.

Scribbs wasn't sure what would happen between them now. She knew that she had no choice but to give Ash space for the day, to let her choose the relationship's fate for them if she hadn't already. She knew that no matter what Ash chose for them, nothing will be the same. Both relationships had the ability to become a lot stronger or crumble entirely. Knowing the things that had hurt Ash would make them closer as friends, even though Scribbs knew it would be hard to go back to being 'just friends'. She'd do it if that was what Ash wanted. As a married couple, that bond would be closer now that everything was out in the open. If their relationships crumbled, Scribbs knew that it would be due to the fact that either one of them- most likely Ash- would always wonder what other secrets were held, what lies were told. And if Ash chose that she wanted nothing more to do with Scribbs at all...

Looking to her left for a split second, Scribbs began, "Ash, I-"

"Pull over," Ash cut in suddenly. Up until that point, she had been staring out the window, but judging by the lack of eye contact and head movement, she wasn't seeing any of the scenery. The fact that she only spoke right then, when Scribbs had, took the blonde by surprise, especially since Ash had her hand now on the door handle as she looked ahead of them at the road.

"What?" Scribbs failed to hide her surprise, and she also looked ahead of them for a second to see if there was an emergency. She pulled over to the nearest spot she could even as she asked this. Ash opened the door before the car could come to a complete stop. Under other circumstances, Scribbs would have reminded Ash of her own rules about moving vehicles. "Wait a minute! We're over a mile away and running late as it is!"

"I could do with a walk. Sullivan'll understand," the brunette replied briskly. Scribbs became concerned, as it was Ash's need for walks that started this whole thing.

"It's really no problem. You can take a walk at lunch, can't you?" This got no reply. "Kate!" she called with some protest in her voice.

At this, the DI leaned back down and held Scribbs' gaze through the slightly opened door. This was the first time she saw into Ash's eyes since she knew the truth about their relationship. "Don't," she said. "Please." There was a moment of silence as Scribbs was rendered speechless yet again. Ash broke eye contact first and went to get her suitcase. She let it roll behind her as she closed both the back and passenger side doors.

Scribbs fought against the sting in her eyes as she watched Ash walk away, the wheels of the suitcase making its gritty sound on the pavement as it trailed after her. 'Honestly, is being in the car with me THAT bad?' Scribbs wondered. She felt the lingering surprise mix with the ever present hurt as Ash finally turned a corner, and she realized that Ash was walking towards the school. 'Perhaps she'll see H there today,' Scibbs' thoughts went on. 'If nothing else, she'll get a little joy from seeing her.' Finally, Scribbs let out a quivered sigh as she tried to get control of her emotions. Slowly, she got the car back on the street and maneuvered her way into work.

With each breath Ash sucked in as she walked, she felt the moisture in the air and saw the mist coming from her mouth and nose. It seemed all she could see or do was force her feet to move at the same time she forced her thoughts away. Every time she tried, the same thoughts rushed to the surface: 'She lied to me. We're not really married. She can't really love me.' She looked ahead of her and realized where she was going. She saw that she was closer to Britannia Park, where they'd had the picnic with her brother. Ash wished that she'd taken a different way, but knew that had she stayed on that main street, Scribbs would have tried to stop her again. Her steps faltered only slightly when she saw the tree that she and Scribbs had sat under while David had gone mad with the camera. Then, remembering that she was running late as it was, she forced one foot in front of the other again.

She heard the sound of a car on the street behind her about a minute later, but when it didn't pass her as she expected it to, she ignored it, thinking that Scribbs had followed her after all. She was surprised when she glanced back to see that it was Sullivan instead. The broad man waved to her, then checked his mirrors. When he saw no one behind him, he slowed further to the brunette's walking pace. "Fancy a lift?" he asked. Ash stared for a second before she nodded. She was running late, after all. It wouldn't look as badly on her if she were to arrive late with Sullivan. Well, considering the fact that everyone seemed to know about her so called relationship with Scribbs by then, maybe it would look bad on her for not walking in with her partner like she had before. She felt that it was a small issue. Ash waited for Sullivan to stop completely before she got inside, twisting her body to place her suitcase into the back.

Unlike the car ride with Scribbs, being with Sullivan, Ash felt calmer, at least until he cleared his throat nervously and asked, "So uh, is everything alright between you and-"

"And my false wife?" Ash cut in. She tried for anger, but found she couldn't do it. She looked over at her boss and friend to find his jaw working. There was a look on his face that Ash easily interpreted as guilt. He turned his head quickly to meet her eye before looking back at the road. Ash also looked at the road ahead of them. "Did you help her lie to me?"

Sullivan's eyes flickered to the left before going to the steering wheel. "Her best friend woke up after a four day coma and the first thing she says is that she won't speak to anyone but her wife. Up until that point, she had no clue that you were gay. When the only thing that seemed to make sense to you, Ash, was seeing her face, what else could she do? She went in to calm you down, and we hoped that once you spoke with Dr. Pellow, your memories would come back little by little... But it didn't.

"It was my idea to have Scribbs continue to play your wife when it looked like the memories weren't coming back right away. Er- After all, it'd by then already been said. She was opposed to deceiving you, but there seemed to be no other option. It was really only a choice of hurting you then, telling you the truth about Scribbs while you were still dealing with everything else, or wait until the memories came back and hope that it hurt less in the long run."

Ash was surprised to hear that it wasn't Scribbs' idea to continue with the lie. In her mind, the brunette had been convinced that Scribbs had acted alone, which she knew was silly. It took a lot to fool someone like her the way they had, to play along with her delusions. Of course, Sullivan and even David helped her.

"I don't regret it," Sullivan said suddenly, and the strength and confidence of the statement made Ash look over at him with somewhat of a scowl on her face. This statement had cut into her personal debate on whether or not she should consider speaking with Scribbs. "It may not have been the way you both lived for the last seven years, but in that month you two were together, you healed from much more than that fall of yours. Those two things you kept so close to the vest were no longer keeping you down and I've never seen you happier. Those who matter now know that you're gay, and now that Scribbs knows about Toby, you've finally allowed yourself to grieve. You're freer now, Ash. She did more to help you in one month than I ever could've hoped to do for you in the entire time I've known you."

Ash's scowl was gone now. "I know you tried," she said.

"Yes."

"And I know you sent the flowers every year with the card, but I just couldn't-"

"I understand. I really do," Sullivan cut in gently. "I just wanted you to know that I was there for you, that's all."

"It's ironic that even before my fall, I'd forgotten how good of friends we were."

"Well," Sullivan said slowly as he considered this, "as long as you remember now." If the broad man wasn't driving, and if they weren't so close to work, Ash would have hugged him. It just seemed to be that sort of moment, and she really needed one.

"I want nothing more than to forget that I remember just so that I could go home to Scribbs-" 'Go home... to Scribbs.' The phrase never felt more right to Ash, but she forced it away in order to give herself the strength to finish the sentence. "-but I can't bind her to this... relationship when it began in the way it had."

Sullivan didn't know how to reply to this, so he said nothing and nodded, if only to acknowledge that the brunette had been heard. When he entered the car park, he asked, "Do you need a ride later?"

"I've got to get a truck so I can begin moving my things out of Scribbs' flat... and vice versa."

"I've got a free day. I'll help you," the broad man said. His tone left no room for protest, so Ash didn't. She smiled weakly as the car stopped. She needed the help, and with Sullivan there, the task wouldn't seem so bad. The two friends got out and walked inside the CID. As Ash had predicted, she got questioning stares, some even flickering between her and Scribbs.

"Boss, I was told to let you know that- Ash." Scribbs stopped moving and talking once she saw the two of them together. She made a face that seemed to say 'never mind', and went back to work. The two supervisors looked after her; both hadn't missed the hurt and jealousy that had crossed her face before she'd turned away.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Scribbs walked into the flat heaving a great sigh. She took a last look around, part of her waiting for Ash to get home so that they could continue to live as they had been the past month, but she knew that it was the last time she would see 'their home' like this. Ash had given her a warning in passing that she'd be by later to pack. Before Scribbs could protest at all, her partner was gone, and she'd assigned Scribbs to work elsewhere for the day.

Scribbs hung up her coat, put the keys on the dining room table like she usually did, and went to her smaller bookshelf, where Upy seemed to watch her expectantly. 'Upy upy upy,' he mouthed to her as Scribbs tapped the small container of food into her palm before sprinkling it over the water's surface. As she watched the blue beta fish eat at the flakes, Scribbs wondered if her wife (no, ex wife...her partner, Scribbs reminded herself) would be taking Upy with her. She would be better off. If she insisted on going back to living in that place full of reminders, the place she herself admitted wasn't like home to her, at least Ash wouldn't be alone there like before. Selfishly, Scribbs thought, 'If she does take him, I will be left even lonelier, and my life'll become some twisted country song.'

At this thought, she looked at the ring finger on her left hand and saw the unattractive bandage strip that she had put there two hours into her shift that morning. During her sister Chelsea's divorce, she'd begun putting a bandage around her finger so that it didn't feel so that it didn't feel so naked after nine years of marriage. Scribbs herself found it surprising how soon it became foreign to leave that finger bare, so she tried the same trick. It didn't help as much as she had hoped, but at least she felt like she could try to deal with it.

Scribbs wasn't sure how long she spent staring at the bandage thinking about the last month and a half she'd spent with Ash, the month she'd had a wife. Not knowing the exact time she'd gotten home from work, she didn't know how long she was like this before there was a knock on her door. She slowly got up, knowing who it was and why Ash didn't just use her keys and just walk right in. With a very heavy heart, she went to open the door. Her heart sank even further, and she couldn't stop her accusatory look of betrayal when she saw Sullivan there as well. Of course Sullivan would be there. He was Ash's friend before Scribbs had ever gotten to Middleford. Sullivan had helped Scribbs, so why wouldn't he be there for Ash as well?

The broad man's look was apologetic in response as Scribbs took a step back, leaving the door open wider to let the both of them in. Ash didn't meet her eye, nor had Scribbs expected her to. Still, it hurt to know that the couple had gotten through so much together only to have things end up like this. Slowly, Scribbs closed the door behind her guests. She stood, looking at the door for a second before becoming brave enough to turn around to face them both. Ash had gone straight to the kitchen, and started separating their dishes.

Scribbs couldn't watch this. She couldn't stand to see Ash so easily dismantle the life they'd tried to build and mesh together the past month. She didn't want to watch that life slip through her fingers just like that. Blindly, she reached for her coat before she forced herself to turn her head and lock eyes with Sullivan. The sad, apologetic look was still there, and it nearly broke her. "I-I can't," Scribbs tried to explain. Sullivan nodded slowly as Scribbs stammered again, "I can't." She grasped desperately for the doorknob behind her, turning it and slipping out quickly. She made the mistake of looking in Ash's direction on the way out, causing her to pause briefly. The brunette's eyes were downcast, her fringe almost covering them. She was so heartbreakingly beautiful that Scribbs had to force her feet away and leave he building completely.

At first, Scribbs' drive was aimless. She wasn't sure where she was going; she just knew that she had to get out of her flat and away from what was happening there. She just couldn't stand it. Eventually, she steered her car out of Middleford completely towards a small town a couple of hours away, where her sister lived. She knew that Chelsea would put her up for a night, into the weekend even, since there had been a couple of occasions when Scribbs had given up her bed for her neice Marcie, even before Chelsea's divorce. Her only concern was whether her sister would even be home or if Kael, Chelsea's boyfriend would be about. Scribbs made it to her sister's door and hesitated before she knocked, hastily wiping away tears before anyone could answer. When her older sister looked out through the side window at her, she was more than a little surprised. Chelsea hurried to open the door, knowing that something was wrong, even if Scribbs' red, tear streaked face hadn't given it away. Scribbs and Chelsea rarely called each other, let alone visited, and never had they just dropped by unless it was important.

"I'm sorry for just-"

"No, come in. Emma, are you okay?" Chelsea asked with concern on her face. It was evident that the two women were related. Though Chelsea's blonde hair was darker than Scribbs', the sisters both shared the same mischievous smile and the same eyes, which were older than the women themselves, Chelsea's due to being a mother and Scribbs' due to her job. Having gone through the wringer with her ex husband just two years previous, she knew the look on her younger sister's face, the utter despair that was evident there. She'd never before seen it on her sister's face , but on her own when she looked in the mirror. She took a quick look over her sister for physical injuries as she ushered her inside, telling Marcie to go play in her room while she waited for her father to come and get her for the weekend. Chelsea noticed the bandage on Scribbs' left hand and became convinced that she knew (as if she wasn't before) what had happened.

Chelsea guided her sister into the living room and onto the sofa before she sat down next to her. She wasn't sure what to say to her sister, or if Emma would want to tell her all about what had happened, but she had been promised that Emma would tell her how and why she had become 'Scribbins-Ashurst' with her partner from the CID, and Emma usually kept her word. In the end, words weren't really needed as Scribbs leaned her head on her sister's shoulder and cried silent tears. She had to dry her face and help see Marcie off when Jerry came to get her. Then the two sisters sat again. Chelsea was surprised when her younger sister spoke up. "She- She's leaving me. She's p-packing her things as we speak," she said, the last word coming out a little more than a whisper.

Chelsea became alarmed when she saw shoulders shake. She couldn't remember seeing Emma so broken up over anyone before. Sure, there would have been sadness for a little while, but she had always gotten back out there. She had never seen body shaking sobs before. Chelsea had sat through many stories of 'What's His Face' being a bastard or negligent or a psychopath who wanted to cut out her sister's eyes, but with Emma's partner, it seemed as if she couldn't get the words out, even if she had something bad to say about her. Emma simply seemed defeated. "So you really were married," Chelsea stated.

Over the course of the next hour and a half or so, the older of the two Scribbins sisters pieced together Emma's words enough to get the gist of what had been going on for over a month. It wasn't easy though, as she never did stop her sister to explain bits of the story of fear of her stopping and not starting again. In the end, she felt confident that she understood most of it. When her sister brokenly asked if she could stay over for the night, she didn't let her finish the question before offering her home for as long as she needed.

That night, after more talking and then getting caught up on Marcie and Chelsea's new life, Scribbs settled into the couch, feeling emotionally exhausted. She thought about Ash and reached for her mobile phone. Scribbs got the answer box, which wasn't surprising. In a monotone voice, she left a message telling her where she was and that she should just let herself in. She hesitated, then said, "I love you Kate," before ending the call.

Ash had gotten Scribbs' message when she was cleaning up from dinner with Sullivan, where they'd talked about anything but Scribbs, which was difficult when work was the main thing they had in common. She tried her best to ignore the last four words of the message. It was easier to finish packing up and moving out on Saturday. On Sunday morning, she spent as much energy as she could to rearrange things back to the way they had before her fall. She tried not to acknowledge the fact that her own flat would never be the same to her, that she missed Scribbs so much that hurt. She even missed Upy, if only because of what he represented.

Back in her own flat, Ash sat in one of her chairs and thought about the last month, though she didn't want to. She had no choice but to agree with Sullivan when he said that she'd healed so much with Scribbs' help and if she could heal from those other pains in her life, surely she could heal from this as well. When that happened, she knew she had to find some way to thank Scribbs for that. For now, though, she had to deal with these things on her own. No one would be there now to literally hold her hand as she lived through the pain, and though everything was out in the open (and out of the closet) there was still a lot that needed to be said. Ash knew for sure that there was no going back to the way she had been. She couldn't dismiss or repress the ghosts of Toby and Erik Kingsley anymore now that she'd face their graves and tried to say goodbye. She couldn't just walk back into the closet with a torch again. Truth be told, she was tired of repressing and hiding. She was tired of running. She knew that everything would have spilled out even if the fall hadn't happened, and she would've had to face it all sooner or later. She would have otherwise gone mad. She knew she needed to talk to her family about this, and later make sure it was okay to be out at work- not quite in the way she had been lately, but enough that it wouldn't to be a shock if she brought a female date to an office party later down the line.

With a new determination to put her past away, Ash prepared herself to go to the cemetery to visit Toby. She didn't bring anything with her this time, and she quickly decided against going to Lucy and Rachel's flower shop. That was something else she knew she would have to face, the awkwardness of Rachel, H, and Lucy when the two friends split up, and not wanting them to have to choose between them. She left it to Scribbs to tell them what had happened, but she felt badly about H. She genuinely liked the trio- the girl especially, but Ash didn't know how to handle all of it yet.

About a half an hour later, she was walking through the cemetery, stopping in front of Toby's plot. "Before you ask, no, she's not coming this time," she said as she kneeled on the moist grass and began tidying around the plot. She knew that, had Toby been alive, she would've asked after Scribbs, having taken to her the last time they met. After all, H was very much like Toby and she and Scribbs had gotten on in no time at all. Ash's insides churned with fear and nervousness as she stared at the name and dates, remembering. She didn't think that it would have been this hard without Scribbs there. Would she have still felt this way if Sullivan had come with her?

Ash rearranged the flowers that she'd left the week before, now brown, along with the smaller fresher bouquet. Ash wondered if it was from Mrs. Marks or even Toby's father, who had become scarce after the girl's death. As if to summon her, Ash heard the sound of footsteps and she turned to look for them. She was surprised to see not only Mrs. Marks there, but also Casey, Toby's older sister and Casey's boyfriend, Fredrick, who helped Mrs. Marks around the building. The two teenagers stood slightly behind the woman and to her sides as if to make sure she always had someone or something solid at her back. Ash knew that if not for this formation, Mrs. Marks wouldn't have left the building at all. Seeing the remaining Marks family sans Mr. Marks made Ash feel slightly queasy. Though she lived in the same building, she never spoke to them, and when she did it was a greeting in passing or to speak strictly about issues in her flat.

Ash was even more surprised when she saw that Mrs. Marks got to her knees next to her with the help of Casey. She set a rose where Ash had just rearranged the flowers on the plot, and she, too, worked with the detective, removing the grass that tried to grow over Toby's name. They remained in silence, and Ash didn't like waiting for the words she knew were to come. Another five minutes passed before Mrs. Marks grabbed Ash's right hand in both of hers, holding on to it as she softly wept. At one point, the brunette thought she heard her say 'Its not your fault', but she was certain that it was her own wishful thinking.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Monday

Scribbs woke up slightly confused by the absence beside her before she remembered what all had happened over the weekend. Her sister had continued to be her crutch, talking to her and doing her best to help Scribbs figure out what steps she should take to try and win her wife back. Though a lot of the ideas sounded good at the time, she knew that Ash was too stubborn to go for it. Scribbs knew that she needed to let Ash be for a little while. When the blonde had gotten back from Chelsea's, Ash was just on her way out with the last of her things, and she had dropped off her key.

The blonde tried not to think about how hurt she'd been all weekend, how broken. She felt annoyed with herself every time she thought about Ash or wondered where she was and what she was doing throughout Sunday. Unlike Ash, who had gone straight to work tidying up her flat in attempt to get things back to normal, Scribbs still felt some of that denial that she'd find a way soon to convince Ash to come back to her. She only moved boxes if they got in the way of her walking path, and she only opened any of them if she desperately needed something. Otherwise she just went without. Even her couch was left slanted near the middle of the living room, nowhere near where it had once been. Scribbs was surprised to see that Upy was still there, though, and she wasn't sure how she was supposed to feel about that.

Scribbs went about her daily routine, putting on another bandage over the ring finger to replace the one she'd put on Friday morning, and then she left her flat for work. She wasn't surprised to see that Ash had gotten there before her, but she was surprised when the brunette started walking towards her as soon as she saw her. Scribbs foolishly hoped Ash wanted to come back to her, but when she saw the look in on her partner's face, her stomach seemed to plummet. Ash grabbed her arm somewhat roughly and Scribbs tried to figure out what she might have done or not done since the day before to warrant the anger coming from the brunette. At the feel of Ash's fingers digging into her upper arm, Scribbs yanked it away, but continued to follow after her. "What is your problem?!" she asked, but Ash didn't respond right away as she continued to lead them into one of the interrogation rooms.

As soon as Scribbs walked around the table to get a little distance from Ash, she noticed that the DI was holding on to a small stack of envelopes that she recognized, and she tossed them on the table between them. When Scribbs looked up again, she couldn't hide her look of slight confusion. She couldn't see what was wrong. "What have you done?" was all Ash could seem to ask, since she didn't know exactly how to approach the subject of her opened mail and her private matters. Though she didn't seem as angry as she had been before, she still looked extremely annoyed.

"What do you think I did?" Scribbs asked as a way to get Ash to speak and let her anger out like she seemed to really want to do.

"You opened my mail," the brunette stated with a frown.

"I had to. You were living with me at my flat, but things at your flat still needed to be taken care of. I'm sorry for invading that aspect of your life, but it needed to be done." Scribbs said in defense.

Ash slowly took a step back so that she was leaning against the wall with her hands folded across her chest. She felt as if she'd been hit by Scribbs' last sentence, even though she knew somewhere deep that Scribbs was trying to make the situation better. Still, she remembered that the blonde had just been playing a role, living a double life and doing what needed to be done until Ash got better. This included a lot more than Ash thought it would. 'Well,' Ash thought bitterly, 'I'm better now.' Ash had been surprised by the fact that Scribbs seemed almost unaffected by the conversation so far, that she saw nothing wrong with what she'd done. Part of her (most of her) knew that she should have been grateful to Scribbs for being as thorough as she had been, especially since Ash knew that Scribbs had used her own money to pay both of their bills during that time. She knew that the blonde didn't have access to her personal bank account.

"I'll pay you back," Ash finally said decisively.

"It's okay-"

"No, it's not," Ash interrupted. She took herself away from the wall, and seemed prepared for battle. "You can have what's in that joint account, and I'll write a cheque for the rest as soon as I know how much that is."

"It isn't about money, Ash," Scribbs protested, "I wish you would believe that I do love you."

Ash shook her head. "I don't doubt that you love me in friendship, but not like that, Scribbs. Not the way I've always loved you. You were playing a role for my benefit, Scribbs."

At this, Scribbs stared at her partner in disbelief. "Is that what this is about, really? How could you be so hurt and angry at me for that? What do you think you were doing for almost seven years?"

"That was different-"

"How, Ash?" Scribbs interrupted this time. "You played a part for my benefit too, pretending to be straight, pretending you weren't dying inside because of the things you hid. The only difference I see is that I never flat out lied or made anything up. Well, except for that story about our wedding- but you know what? I'll bet everything that if we'd actually had a wedding it would have been exactly like that." Ash looked away, not wanting to think about a would-be wedding.

"But you stretched the truth enough, and that is just as bad."

"How many times did you bend or stretch the truth- or even lie to me? How many tales did you spin in seven years? How many of those supposed dates were real?"

Ash's look of shame emerged then. She knew that the blonde was right, that if anything, Scribbs had every right to be angry with her. Scribbs stood opposite to her, hoping that Ash would think this over, to see the truth of the last month, and that she really was in love with her. If nothing else, Scribbs hoped to break down the barriers just enough that they could try to work things out.

"Look, I'm not mad about any of that okay? Yes, I did start off playing a part, but I did fall in love you. It might not have been the way either of us planned for it to happen or anything, but it did. That's what matters, right?" There was a silence that rang between them before Scribbs continued on, her voice slightly lower as if they weren't the only two in the room and the blonde had a secret to tell. "You may not believe me now- I'll find a way to convince you, but I will not apologize for it." Scribbs held her breath as well as Ash's eyes as she finally got out some of what she had wanted to say since Friday morning. She hoped putting those words out there would help change things between them, and she couldn't stop the hope that filled her again as she waited for Ash to respond.

Ash was the one left speechless as she heard these bold words Scribbs was saying to her. She saw the look on Scribbs' face and heard her voice. If nothing else the blonde believed her own words, but for how long? How long would Scribbs try and convince her before she realizes that she loves men still and always had? With these thoughts, Ash sighed, grabbed the stack of bills, and turned towards the door. "DI Fairwood needs help on a case, and his partner didn't show today. I'd like for you to assist him," she said. She opened the door and began to leave, turning back to look at Scribbs expectantly when the blonde didn't move from her spot or speak.

Scribbs stared at Ash with disbelief. She wondered if this was for real, if anything she had said meant anything to the brunette. She walked out, murmuring, "Yes ma'am," before walking to find DI Fairwood.

Unfortunately for Scribbs, DI Fairwood made DI Phillips look like a knight in shining armor by comparison. If ever Scribbs needed proof that Ash really hated her, if only briefly, this would have been it. DI Fairwood had to be the most hated man in the CID, mostly by women. Scribbs set her jaw in order to prepare herself for a day in his company. She could only hope that Ash would have mercy on her and only need her to work with him for that day.

DI Fairwood and his partner were working on a murder case that was similar to a couple of the ones that Ash and Scribbs had solved. The only differences were the gender of the killer and the motive. After using her small box of toys to show her temporary partner how those other murders turned out, the DI had gone back over the evidence and had solved the case before lunch. She helped him work out the evidence for another case, and once she learned to ignore about sixty percent of his side comments, the day wasn't as bad as she thought it was going to be.

Once Scribbs made it back to her desk after DI Fairwood dismissed her for the night, she saw Ash at her own desk. She had her eyes trained on her computer screen as she typed up what Scribbs guessed to be a case report. When the brunette looked up and saw her watching, she picked up a slip of paper that the blonde couldn't read from where she stood. "Here Scribbs," she said, standing. Both women took the steps necessary to meet face to face, and fearing it was something bad, Scribbs hesitated before taking it. At first glance, she saw that it was the cheque Ash had promised. After a quick thought back to the last balance of the joint account, she saw that the cheque was an over estimation of what Ash felt she owed Scribbs. Without a word, Scribbs' jaw tensed and she ripped up the cheque in front of Ash, the brunette's eyes emotionless as she did so. Scribbs then turned, grabbed her coat and left, throwing the cheque in the rubbish bin on her way out.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

The door to Scribbs' flat opened, and then slammed roughly as the blonde finally made her way home from work. Her jaw was still clenched from her mind replaying the entire day, and she tried to calm down now that she got home. She tossed her keys onto the nearest flat surface and went to check her messages. Though she had no illusions that Ash would call her, there were still people in her life who didn't know about the split, at least as far as Scribbs knew. The blonde had one messages from 'Melanie' from the bank. After calling back and verifying that she was indeed Emma Scribbins-Ashurst, (she didn't have the heart to correct the woman on technicalities), and Scribbs stilled as she listened to what she had to say.

The once joint account, which the once couple argued about that day, was now completely in Scribbs' name. A thought occurred to her, and Scribbs asked what the ending balance was. Hearing the sum, Scribbs mumbled a curt 'Thank you,' and ended the call. Scribbs' suspicion had been correct. Ash made one last deposit of the ridiculous overestimation of whatever she thought she owed Scribbs. The blonde stared at the cordless, the hand around it tightening while the other balled into a fist.

"THAT STUBBORN - !" Scribbs threw the phone in anger, but she didn't see where it had gone until she heard both the smashing of glass and the clatter of the phone as its pieces hit and slid across the shelf. "Upy, I'm so sorry!" Scribbs cried. The blonde hurried across the flat at her own words, but thankfully, the phone didn't hit the fish tank. Though his mouth moved open and shut as it always did, Scribbs knew that if he could speak, Upy would be screaming, 'What the hell?!' Looking down when the crunch of glass alerted her to what had been hit instead of the fish tank; Scribbs lifted her foot and sighed.

Scribbs leaned down to pick up the remains of the picture frame, removing a sheet of nice document paper and turning it over. As she stared at the names on the paper, the blonde figured the shatter picture frame with the fake marriage license was a sign, but then something about the paper got her attention. What appeared to be right behind the names and signatures was a familiar maple leaf. Suddenly a piece of conversation echoed in her head from a few days prior.

'Looking for a watermark, Boss?'

Scribbs paused, frozen, before she forced herself into the kitchen to throw the glass away. Then she held the marriage certificate up to the ceiling light, squinting to see it again. In disbelief she said, "No." She tried to ignore the new, faster rhythm of her heart. She felt like Charlie Bucket from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory after having just found the last golden ticket. 'Run home, Emma Scribbins. Run home and don't look back!' Scribbs scanned the name of the man whose signature (supposedly) officiated the marriage license. She had to be sure it was what she hoped it was. She hurried to her laptop and waited impatiently for it to boot up, then she did a search for the judge. It took over an hour, and just when she thought it was a fake name, she found him once she finally figured out what to put into the search engine. She hooted loudly in excitement, earning her a pointed reminder to shut the hell up from next door. (She supposed they took all they could from her after the yelling and then the crash. She was surprised they hadn't called the police to the flat.) She read over 'their' judge's work history as she told herself over and over that the marriage document was really, truly real. She reread the name she spent so much time searching for, a name she knew she would never forget.

Scribbs knew that Sullivan had his connections, but she didn't know how far they reached. Thinking back to the day after Ash woke up, Scribbs could make sense of all of the broad man's frantic errands and phone calls, but when had he been able to switch the fake marriage license with the real one? Had it been when David had come over for dinner or even before that while they were moving Ash's things in? Either option made sense, but no matter which one it was, she was holding a real marriage license, the greatest piece of evidence that she and Ash were truly bound together in the way they both wanted to be.

With new hope in her heart, Scribbs practically skipped into her bedroom, where she tore the bandage off of her ring finger. She opened the wardrobe and glanced inside at the two small boxes, and then she opened them both to check which one was hers. She read the inscription 'Only You' before she placed the slightly larger one back on the rightful knuckle, and it felt like breathing a sigh of relief after holding her breath for so long. Scribbs stared at the other wedding band, and was momentarily at a loss as to what to do with it. Then she searched her jewelry box for a gold chain necklace she'd gotten from her sister for Christmas but never wore. She took off the 'E' charm and replaced it with Ash's wedding band. She knew it was cheesy and sentimental, but she wanted to have a small piece of Ash and their time together with her always if she couldn't have the woman herself.

Scribbs' walk back to the shelf was lighter now, and she sighed when she saw the damage to her phone. She replaced it on the charger, but she doubted that she'd be able to use it properly after that night. She checked the shelf and floor for more glass, but didn't find anymore. Then she made sure her printer didn't crap out on her. She wanted to make sure Ash knew all of the facts, and only then would she allow her to make the decision of whether or not to completely write Scribbs out of her life.

Scribbs tried her best to fall asleep, but after all of the new information she had found, she couldn't even fathom the possibility. All she could think of were the pictures, the marriage license, and the printed off information on the judge. The blonde tried again to think about the entire situation from a different point of view as she often had over the past month or so.

What if she had been the one who'd fallen?

What if she had been in love with Ash all this time and suddenly, Ash had become her wife?

What if she had suddenly woken up again, realizing that everything she thought she'd known for a month had been a lie?

If Ash had come to her with a full report after all of that- as she knew the brunette would- and told her exactly what had happened while showing her the marriage license, would she have forgiven the lie? She would have liked to think that the answer to that was yes, she would have, but Scribbs also knew that Ash's barriers were up, and they were stronger and up for far longer than any of Scribbs' ever could be. If those six or seven years spent hiding her sexuality and her pain over Toby taught Scribbs anything, it was that. As closed off as Ash had proven to be over the time they'd known each other, Scribbs had also proven to knock down some of those barriers and had broken Ash's rules while walking away relatively unscathed. Scribbs had always been there to neutralize Ash's tense personality while Ash had brought order to Scribbs' more relaxed personality. It was always what made them the best of partners and the best of friends. She hoped that she could do it all again so they could go back to being that married unit she wanted so desperately. Scribbs realized that accomplishing this now would be different. The woman she'd known only a month before probably never should have existed, and though she had seen some of that woman she'd always known, Scribbs was fully aware of the fact that Ash was being that way for her benefit now, just as she had been before.

Scribbs' mind began to hurt when she thought of all the possibilities of who Ash would truly be now that she was out of the closet and her grief over Toby didn't consume her. Of course, Ash would always grieve the loss of that little girl and the former DCI, but at least now she knew that no one put any blame on her. Still, Scribbs wondered if Ash's rules would come back or it they would fade, if she would keep all the old rules without coming up with new ones.

As Scribbs looked at the pictures of her and Ash together in Britannia Park (having taken them to bed with her as part of her 'evidence folder' she planned to show her partner the next day), she wondered if she would ever see that shy, yet happy smile again, or if she was doomed to see the expressionless or even angry features for the rest of the time she'd know Ash. Scribbs shifted her focus from Ash to the image of herself, seeing her own hand moved to the brunette's face to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. She stared for quite some time, studying every inch of her own face, trying very hard to find the lie there. She found none. Slowly, after many minutes, Scribbs let her eyes slide back over to the brunette in the picture, wishing with her entire heart she would be able to see that look directed at her again, like it was meant to be.

"I'll get us back," Scribbs vowed. Her low voice seemed amplified in the silence of the bedroom. She looked down at the wedding band on her finger, then at the one on the chain around her neck. "I'll get us back," she repeated with a nod, as if to reassure herself of this. With those words floating around in her mind along with the rough ideas of what she wanted to say to make her case to Ash, Scribbs put the pictures in the folder along with the printed out pages on the judge and Canadian marriage laws. She set the whole folder on her bedside table and turned out the lamp.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

*I swore to myself I wouldn't do a {flashback} in this story, but I also promised that I would finish it by the new year, which only proves that my own word means nothing to me.*

Ash couldn't sleep. After another long lonely night, she'd given up altogether at around two-thirty. Though it was still dark outside and would have been for quite a while, Ash got washed up to pass the time, and dressed for the day. Afterwards, she was at a loss of what she wanted to do. There was no way she would turn the TV on, already knowing the rubbish she'd find there, and she hadn't yet found the courage to listen to her music, afraid of the lyrics- or anything really- that would remind her of the past month. As it was, just looking around the flat, she could see many of the things that they had mixed and matched inside of Scribbs' flat, constant reminders of the life Ash thought she'd led for two years. It was a life she refused to admit she missed. As she stared at the many items in the flat, remembering all their uses during that time, she began to wonder why she was still there in her flat, in that building.

After Sunday in the cemetary with Mrs. Marks, they had gone back to the building together. They'd had tea as they spoke of Toby, what Ash knew and remembered of her. Mrs. Marks was not without a story to tell about her youngest. It helped the two of them; Mrs. Marks needed to speak, and Ash needed to listen. The more Ash heard about Toby, the more she wondered what she would have been like as the feisty fifteen year old she was meant to be. Looking at Cassie had given her a clue, but Toby and Cassie were always so different in so many ways. Ash remembered the conversation she had with Mrs. Marks on Sunday:

{"I've been waiting for the day we'd meet there so I could ask you over and we could talk. I've waited for so long- almost too long- that I thought... I thought this talk might never come." Mrs. Marks started off by saying.

Ash, who had been just about to drink from her cup, paused in this, unsure how to answer. "I... wasn't ready," was all she'd come up with after a moment.

"I understand." There had been a silence between them before Mrs. Marks started up again. "It had been so nice having you around. It was safe having a police woman living in the building, but after your friend came to get your mail and things while you were gone, I realized you wouldn't be here forever, and I knew I didn't want for you to be. Someday you'd move on, and I realized that I wanted that... for the both of us. Since then, I have tried a couple of times to leave the building, something I haven't done since... Well..." Mrs. Marks looked away as she thought, then looked back at Ash. "But I did. Today, I woke up thinking I had to give it another go. With Cassie and Fredrick by my side... I was ready. And there, Miss Ashurst, you were, right beside Toby. Now tell me, do you find it a coincidence that we 'became ready' to face this at the very same time?"}

Ash didn't have an answer for Mrs. Marks, and the woman only chuckled at her silence. Even then as she thought about it, she wasn't sure. She'd never been the sort to believe in fate or supernatural things like that, but as she looked around the flat, she didn't feel the need to move out like she had before. She knew that if she was going to live without Scribbs- without Upy even- that she'd be able to tolerate it now, and even feel slightly content. She didn't feel bound to the flat like she had before, as if she had permission from Mrs. Marks to leave, from even Toby and Erik Kingsley themselves. She also wasn't in a rush to leave anymore. Ash told herself that she would stay put for now, but if something came up, she would look into it.

Ash looked at the small, but neatly stacked pile of papers on her dining room table, the envelopes of papers and bills she'd gone over a couple of different times before. She had made sure that what she had given Scribbs was more than fair. The brunette could still see the look on her partner's face when she'd seen the cheque and the amount Ash had written there. Going over it all again, part of her wondered if she should have given the blonde more, but that would have only added fuel to Scribbs' fire, when Ash would rather walk away completely. As it was, the DI was going to have to expect a small row the next day. Ash knew that Scribbs didn't care about the money. The blonde would have been more angry about the fact that Ash was trying to bribe her way out of the situation, to ease her guilt and humiliation somehow with money. Though Ash didn't agree that was what she was doing, she couldn't quite deny it, either. After making sure that everything was in order, Ash put the envelopes and statements away. Then she sat down again, her thoughts running wild as both Scribbs and Sullivan's words ran through her head.

Ash was surprised, when she went to work a few hours later, to find that Scribbs had gotten there before her. When she saw the blonde's car in the car park, she froze. She had hoped to prepare herself for the confrontation with Scribbs in the time bettween their arrivals. She forced her shoulders straighter and her breath steadier as she finally walked inside. It took her a moment to make her way into the CID looking as composed and indifferent as ever. Ash was further surprised when she saw that Scribbs was sitting at her desk, back straight as she wrote what looked to be a report shorthand. Seeing this, Ash wondered what case they would work on that day. As she got closer to the blonde, she noticed the chain of a necklace just above the collar of the Scribbs' shirt. She saw, as Scribbs held down the paper to keep it from moving as she wrote on it, that the DS had her wedding band on again. This made Ash's steps falter slightly, but she managed to continue on towards her own desk.

After finishing the sentance she was working on and placing its final puntuation mark, Scribbs looked up from the report. She chanced a look towards Sullivan's office, and Ash did as well. The door was closed and the lights were off. When Scribbs' eyes locked with her partner's, Ash hadn't expected to see the hope and adoration she saw there. She'd expected anger and hurt, and Ash wondered what Scribbs was planning by wearing the wedding band. Knowing that Scribbs wasn't the type to wear necklaces, Ash wondered if her own wedding band dangled from it.

Having noticed Ash's stares, Scribbs placed her hands in her pockets, ignoring the flash of memory where Sullivan had advised her to do that very thing because the wedding band WASN'T there at the time. For the first time since she'd gotten her hair cut, Scribbs wished that she'd kept it long. She knew that Ash suspected what she'd kept so close to her heart. She didn't want her partner to know just how much she was pining for her, even though it was so obvious and true. Her eyes went down to the desk in front of her before she looked up again at the brunette. "Good morning," she said tentatively, as if to test the waters with the DI. Scribbs looked ready to say something else, but held back instead.

Ash's chest felt tight when she saw that Scribbs' look didn't change. Though the brunnette could see that Scribbs wasn't as broken as she'd been over the weekend, she definately didn't shine as much as she had before Ash's fall. Ash couldn't let go of the guilt, knowing that she was completely at fault for that. "Scribbs," Ash aknowledged with a nod. The brunette didn't get it. Where was the fury she'd been expecting? When was Scribbs going to bring up the once joint account? What had happened the night before to make Scribbs look at her that way? Just what was she planning to spring on her?

"We got a call in. The body of a popular doctor was found in his car, which he had run into a tree a couple of hours ago."

"Sounds like a job for Traffic," Ash said.

"His breaklines were cut, which made the constible suspect murder."

"Why didn't you call me in?" Ash asked, daring to look at her partner.

"The call only came in about twenty or so minutes ago. I figured you were on your way in already." Scribbs stood and put her jacket on. Ash was glad that she had never taken hers off. Scribbs handed her one of the peices of paper that the blonde had been working on. She saw that they were identical, one for her and one for Scribbs.

"Why two?" Ash's curiousity forced her to ask.

"I wasn't sure if we'd be working together on this case. I wanted to keep a copy of the report to look over even if... you decided to have me work somewhere else today," Scribbs replied, her eyes looking anywhere but at the brunette.

Ash nodded, but Scribbs wasn't looking in her direction to see it. "Thank you," the DI said softly, though she wasn't sure what she was thanking Scribbs for. Her tone of voice wasn't nearly as sincere as it needed to be for Ash to thank the blonde for all she'd done for her the past month or so (not that then was the time or place for that anyway), but it was too soft and emotional to simply thank Scribbs for the paper in her hand.

Scribbs' response of 'You're welcome' was spoken in such a way that seemed to tell Ash that she was welcome to anything and everything Scribbs had and would continue to do for her. The blonde was still unsure if she'd work with her partner that day, and if she were honest with herself, she wasn't sure if she wanted to, at least on that particular morning. Ash, on the other hand, hadn't thought about sending Scribbs off to work somewhere else, but since the blonde was making an effort to be civil after what she'd done the night before, Ash decided that she would, too. She followed the blonde to her car, which seemed to surprise Scribbs this time. Scribbs opened the door for her, and then she went to the driver's side. The silence, as well as the last scene from the previous time the two of them were in the car together, ran between them on the way to the inquiry, and though both of them felt increasingly uncomfortable, niether one of them would say anything about it.

Nearing noon, Ash was finding it harder and harder to stay calm. Every glint of daylight seemed to reflect off of Scribbs' wedding ring and into her face. Every curve of the blonde's neck invited Ash to look at the chain, her eyes always following it down to where it disappeared into skin she once knew better than ever thought she would. It was almost enough to make her want to break her silent, temorary truce with Scribbs. The blonde never said or did anything to point to the fact that she wore the rings, but by defying her true marital status by having them on her made Ash feel as though Scribbs was somehow mocking her. Ash felt that the wedding band had no right to rest upon her knuckle as if it'd belonged there all along. She knew somewhat what the blonde was trying to do, but she couldn't allow for her feelings to contradict what she knew was the right thing for Scribbs.

Part of her wanted to demand Scribbs take it off, but it wasn't really her place to do that. She knew that the reminder of the rings would only make it harder for either of them to move on, and it wasn't fair to either woman. "I need to speak with you," Ash said suddenly, making Scribbs look up from the work she had been doing on the computer for the past few minutes.

"Alright," Scribbs replied slowly. She made a couple of saves to her work and stood up, grabbing the folder she was pretty sure she was going to need, and started to walk towards the interrogation room they had argued in the day before.

"No, outside," Ash said. Scribbs would have nodded if her partner wasn't already on the move with her back to her. The blonde was sure that Ash wanted to talk about either the cheque from the day before, or the wedding band on her finger. Considering the fact that she'd caught her partner staring at her ring many times that morning, Scribbs was sure that it was the latter. Though she knew that the confrontation was coming, she was surprised by how quickly Ash had cracked. Scribbs had hoped that she'd gotten more of her 'case' prepared as she gathered her words in the short amount of time she knew the brunette would give her.

The two women hurried outside, and Ash right away noticed the dark clouds in the sky, no doubt forshadowing the next few minutes between them. They made their way towards the gardens that bordered the CID, and the bench that had been dedicated to former DCI Kingsley. When she had first heard the name Erik Kingsley from Dr. Pellow in the hospital over a month ago, Scribbs had been sure she'd heard the name somewhere, and realized that all the times she's sat on that bench over the last few years at the CID, it had been there the whole time, in that garden. Now that she knew who that person was, she took a moment to really stare at the name as she thought about who he might have been. The fact that he had died in Ash's place meant that he was a special person, that he was worth remembering.

Ash's eyes traveled from the cloudy sky above them down to Scribb's arm, where the folder was tucked tightly to her chest, and then finally over to the bench where her partner had been staring. After a few seconds of hesitation, Scribbs sat down on the bench so that she could still see the name on the plaque. She waited, looking at the clouds a few times and then at her partner. She saw Ash's foot begin to tap, creating very small thuds in the grass. Under other circumstances, she might have teased the brunette about being on the grass to begin with as she recited one of the rules back at her, but she knew that it would have been a really bad idea. Instead, she let the silence continue as her brain tried to find the words she needed to say. Finally, there was a sigh from the brunette as if she was just too tired to start an argument.

"What are you doing, Scribbs?" Ash asked after another moment.

"Ash?" the blonde asked innocently.

"Why are you wearing your- the wedding band?"

Scribbs stared at her partner, seeing how tired the other woman was. Still, the annoyance could be heard in the question. "Because I am still married," Scribbs replied simply.

"Wha-? Scribbs, that wasn't real. I'm coming to terms with that. Why are you still on about it?"

Scribbs saw how much pain Ash was in, and if she didn't have so much to prove, she would have taken the wedding band off right then and there and left it all alone just to make it right. "It's true," Scribbs insisted. She looked downwards at the folder in her hand.

"Scribbs-"

"No, I can prove it," the blonde protested, not waiting for Ash to rip into her. The brunette stared at the folder Scribbs was holding and then at the determination on the blonde's face.

"Is that what that is?" Ash asked finally, "Proof?" At Scribbs' meek nod, the DI sighed again. "Alright. Let's hear it."

"Ash-"

"But if you're wrong- which I am sure you are- I don't want to hear anything more about it, and I don't want to see the wedding bands ever again. Agreed?"

Scribbs swallowed, her cheeks sucked in slightly, and her jaw clenched tight for a moment. She had the marriage license, and she was sure that it was enough proof even without the judge's name, but she didn't know if even that would be enough to convince the brunette in front of her. She took another long moment before she finally said, "Okay."

Ash unfolded her arms to reach for the folder. Reluctantly, Scribbs handed it over. "This should be good," Ash muttered. Their fingers touched, and both women reacted, Scribbs tried to gain further contact and Ash recoiled from it. Scribbs tried her best not to look hurt by it, but she failed. Ash opened the the folder. The first thing she saw was the marriage license.

"Th- The marriage license, it's real," Scribbs stammered. The brunette hesitated, as if afraid of truly seeing the Canadian seal, and then she picked it up, holding it to the light. Scribbs watched Ash's hands and face, and before the older woman could deny what she was seeing, she continued on, "You know that the seal, the watermark proves that the document is real. By Canadian law, we are married."

"I didn't sign this, even if it is real," Ash argue. "It is forged and therefor it is still false." Ash scoffed. "For all I know the signatures of the judge is fake also."

"Look in the folder. He's a real man."

"Coincidence," Ash said quickly.

"No," Scribbs countered. "Real document, real judge." She watched as Ash looked at the picture and printed pages of the man in question. "Only a handfull of us know that your signature was forged- most likely by David, your signatures are so alike. To the rest of the world, we are together. According to Canadian law, we didn't need to be citizens of Canada to get married, but we do in order to get divorced, so... Until you're willing to live in Canada with me for a year, you're still my wife."

When Ash stayed silent, Scribbs went on, "And even if all that wasn't real, Ash, we were married where it counted. What was it you said to me in that first fight after your fall? 'Our marriage licence may not be recognized here, but you are my wife.' Isn't that what you said?"

"Damn it, I hate when you throw my own words back at me," Ash huffed.

"Makes for the best ammo, in my own experience," Scribbs replied calmly. She stood up and took a couple of steps towards Ash, who leaned back a little bit to gain some distance, but didn't otherwise move. The blonde returned the printed off pages to the folder and tucked them under painfully familiar pictures taken at Britannia Park. She looked at the two of them in the pictures and then up at Ash. "You know how I am undercover. I can't act very well, let alone enough to take this," she said, tilting the picture so that Ash could see it better. "That moment was ours, and it was the most real feeling that I have ever had in my entire life. A picture says a thousand words," Scribbs said, pointing to the image of her own face, "and every single one of them is true."

Ash suddenly stepped back, closed the folder over the picture, and handed the folder back to Scribbs. "This proves nothing more than the fact that you can give reports after all," Ash said. She turned slightly, ready to walk into the CID, but Scribbs had taken her hand and quickly moved so that she was facing the brunette again. Ash was surprised by the speed at which the blonde had moved.

"It proves," Scribbs stressed, moving so close that Ash had no choice but to remain eye to eye with her, "that I love you, that our love is more than a peice of paper and seven years of hidden truths. It proves that THAT moment was ours, and it was real. That should be the most important detail." Scribbs leaned back enough to grab the picture again, which forced her to let go of Ash. She hoped the brunette wouldn't move, and was relieved when she didn't. She twisted her wrist even as her arm remained against her chest as she showed Ash the picture. "It proves that we'll spend the rest of our lives looking for THIS, knowing that we won't find it with anybody else. I wouldn't want to," Scribbs concluded softly.

The two of them were still for a long moment. "Scribbs," Ash tried to say, but she stopped. It was as if she just couldn't speak, and the blonde could see that so much was running through her partner's mind. Finally, Ash put her hand up, turned away from Scribbs again and walked towards the building without saying anything else. This time, it was too quick for Scribbs to catch up to her, as she was trying to hurry after her and replace the picture at the same time.

"Kate! Kate please!" Scribbs called, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears. By the time Scribbs had put the picture away and made it inside the CID, the brunette was nowhere to be seen. She went back to her desk and ran her hand through her hair as she fought back tears. "This was a really bad idea," she told herself, looking towards Sullivan's office. It was still dark. Where was he? Scribbs wanted to talk to him about the marriage license, but it looked as if he wasn't coming in that day.

Ash stood with her back against the wall in the women's bathroom of the CID. She took in a couple of deep breaths, and then let out a long sigh as a couple of tears fell. Ash's heart and Scribbs' words hammered against any of the DI's barriers. She wasn't sure how long it would take before she let them crumble completely. She was sure that Scribbs already knew this. She was so close to just letting Scribbs be right, but what she'd told Sullivan was still true, and she loved Scribbs too much to take advantage of her more than she already had. But what if, in time, the abscenses prove to be too much for both of them? 'In time, she'll have found a nice bloke who's truly right for her,' Ash thought to herself. The image that followed made her face scrunch up, but she told herself it was right. It was just enough to reseal any cracks in the barriers, dry her eyes, and leave the bathroom.

She was glad she had, as a DS had been briefing Scribbs on the case of Ryan Lambert, the doctor who had died that morning. So far, all of the men who worked on his car had no aquaintance with him before or during the time it was being repaired, and Ryan's wife, Gail, had been questioned most of the morning. Ash and Scribbs hadn't been able to talk to her, since she was getting her son from school. When Ash approached the two DS', she heard enough to know that she and Scribbs could now go and speak with her. Though Gail Lambert wasn't a suspect so far, she had been one of the last people to see Ryan alive that morning, and was the best person to judge any new or sudden changes in him prior to his death.

Without words, Scribbs gave her partner a questioning glance, and Ash nodded, letting her know that they would be riding together. Scribbs thanked the other DS and hurried to put on her jacket, then she followed the brunette out the door to the car. As they passed their collegues, Scribbs could feel the questioning glances, knowing that they were wondering what was happening between them. Scribbs really didn't want to know what was running through the rumor mill, or just how many of them were right. The ride over was silent. It was to be expected. Every now and again, Ash would look over at Scribbs only to see her glaring at the road, whether or not anyone was actually there. When the blonde's head would jerk to the left to look at Ash, the DI would quickly look back out the window as if that had been the direction of her gaze all along.

Gail Lambert was still drying her eyes when she answered the door for them, letting them in graciously. She offered them tea, which both women accepted. They both needed something calming after the nerve-wrecking conversation/row they'd had before leaving the CID. Having just put the kettle on for herself, it didn't take long for the tea to be served and for the three of them to settle in the living room. Ash and Scribbs had gotten a few questions in during its preparation - mostly about the Lamberts' marriage in general, which seemed pretty average - and some questions about that morning before the so called 'accident' had occured.

"One minute he's here, I kissed him goodbye. Had I known he'd be gone only a couple of hours later, I wouldn't have let 'im leave this morning."

Ash, who was sitting on one of the chairs while Scribbs sat on the sofa, looked around the house and saw pictures of the Lambert family. Ryan looked like a loving husband and father to the young boy seen in many of the pictures, which only made Ash burn to know who would want to kill him. He had to have been holding in some secret that Gail knew nothing about, and Ash was determined to uncover it. The DI was taken out of her thoughts when she heard Gail speak to Scribbs, and she saw that the woman had taken notice of the blonde's wedding ring.

"You married, too?" she asked, sounding much older than she really was, which couldn't have been any older than Ash herself.

Green eyes flickered over to the brunette, connecting for just a second as Scribbs said, "Yeah." She became self aware, and put her left hand in her pocket. Ash stiffened at this, hoping that the conversation would be left at that. The brunette wasn't sure what she'd do if it went any further than that, or if Scribbs revealed just who she'd been married to.

"Of course, you love him," Gail said.

"I love her very much," Scribbs replied.

Gail didn't seem to bat an eye or skip a beat as she took in the added information, but Ash's eyes closed tightly and opened again, unsure what to think about Scribbs outing herself. "I suggest you hold her close when you get home tonight, because you never know when you're going to lose her. And when you do... you won't know what to do with yourself." Gail's voice broke by the time she had finished her statement, and a couple more tears fell.

Scribbs looked down, and what little fringe she had fell forward from where it'd been tucked to the side. She cleared her throat and slowly put her tea cup down. "Uh... I'll wait outside, I... need some air," the blonde said to Ash, not looking at either of the other women in the room.

Gail seemed startled by Scribbs' sudden exit. "I didn't mean to... Its just, losing Ryan..."

Ash took a sip from her cup, her movements slow and stiff, before she said, "She'll get over it." Her own words were a lot more harsh than she had intended, but she didn't feel the desire to take them back. She was just glad that her own voice didn't quiver or break. She took in a deep breath in a way to force herself to relax, and Gail Lambert knew then that they were about to get back to the inquiry. "Now, you said that Ryan didn't know anyone at the autoshop?"

"He couldn't 'ave. It was his first time there. We used to go to another, but we discovered this one was closer to the house and his work."

"Tell me what happened when you took the car in."


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Thursday

The following two weeks were a nightmare. Scribbs did the best she could to continue to tell Ash that the love she felt for the brunette wasn't going away, but it only seemed to make Ash deny her further or ignore her completely. Part of her wondered if it had become a slight one up-manship, where every 'I love you' was met with a fiercer look, every romanitc gesture faced with a snarkier comment in return. It was as if Ash couldn't believe it would ever be true after so long of just dreaming about it. Scribbs quickly became lost as to what to do. How many more times could she be shot down by Ash? She often prayed that she'd find just the right words or gesture that would completely remove all doubt, but none came.

She didn't like to think of it as giving up. In her mind, the reasons for taking off her ring and putting it in her pocket that day had nothing to do with the beautiful dark woman who had a hand on Ash's forearm, her head next to the brunette's as they looked over a case together. Danielle Turey, a councelor that worked with Ash and Scribbs on many extreme cases in the past, was absolutely stunning. Everything about her reminded Scribbs of creamy chocolate, from the long straight strands of hair down her back, dark brown eyes, her skin over a tall slim frame, to even her attire. It was never a secret that Danielle had quite the crush on Ash, and before two months ago, Scribbs found this amusing. She'd teased her partner about it as soon as the dark woman was gone. Now, Scribbs hated her, simply because she got to stand next to Ash and touch her, even if it was only a couple of fingers now on her forearm.

As Scribbs watched the two women interact with eachother as they spoke about the case file between them, the blonde figured that this was what Ash had wanted, the chance to move on and find somebody new, to finally let go of her feelings for Scribbs. 'Ash wants to let me go,' Scribbs thought to herself. 'She needs to move on.' As much as it hurt the DS to think that, she knew how true it was. With Scribbs wearing the wedding bands, it was just hindering Ash's ability to do just that.

Scribbs looked up again, searching for Sullivan as she had a lot the last couple of weeks. Their boss had been conveniently busy, and Scribbs still hadn't spoken to him about the marriage license. The blonde was happy to see that his office door was open, and she saw Sullivan moving about inside. Scribbs left her desk and began walking towards the stairs to Sullivan's office, not even acknowledging Danielle or Ash on the way, which left the DI slightly confused.

Ash looked up from the case file just as Scribbs passed by her. She'd partially expected some sort of meaningful look from her partner, the same she'd seen getting for the last couple of weeks, but Scribbs didn't even look their way. The blonde hadn't even said anything, nor had she gone anywhere near her since Danielle had arrived, and Ash knew exactly why that was. It wasn't as if Scribbs hid the dirty looks that she'd been sending the dark woman. Ash knew that Scribbs needn't be jealous at all, as the blonde was the only person that she ever thought about.

The DI knew that Danielle flirted with her whenever she was there. Afterall, Scribbs never failed to have a laugh about it afterwards. Ash would always deny it so that Scribbs wouldn't guess that she'd secretly enjoyed the attention, even though her heart belonged to her partner. Still, she'd been in the closet for so long that it took a lot to ignore the instinctual urge to back away from the advances towards her. In another life, she knew that she and Danielle would have made a great couple. They had a lot in common and found a lot to talk about other than work, if only Ash would allow for them to stray from the tasks at hand for long. Ash just wasn't sure how long it would take for her heart to stop beating out 'Emma' as its rhythem. It wouldn't have been fair to Danielle, and Ash would never ask for her to wait, even if the other woman was willing. Part of Ash was scared that Scribbs had been right two weeks ago at the bench dedicated to Erik Kingsley. What if she would never be able to find happiness in marriage because she would always look for what she had with Scribbs?

Upstairs in the DCI's office, DS Scribbins stood in the doorway for a moment, waiting to be acknowledged by her boss. Sullivan was working at his desk on a document of some sort. When he didn't look up, Scribbs knocked on the doorframe to announce her presence. Sullivan lifted his head then, and when he saw who it was, a look crossed his face that was something between guilt and concern. "Scribbs, are you alright?" he asked. He watched as Scribbs stood for a second in silence, touching the ring finger that both detectives realized was bare.

"May I speak with you?" Scribbs asked. Sullivan looked at a small clock that was on the windowsill before his gaze went back to Scribbs.

"I've got about ten minutes. Is that enough time?" Even as he asked this, Sullivan seemed to have his doubts, but Scribbs nodded and stepped inside, closing the door behind her with a soft click. Slowly, she walked across the office and sat in the chair in front of him. Sullivan put his pen down.

There was a small silence between them as Scribbs tried to figure out which question she wanted to ask first, which of the questions running through her mind the last two weeks were more important. She wanted to know about the real marriage license, and how he was able to both obtain it and switch it with the fake one. Finally, she decided on the first question that was on her mind, and she looked her boss straight in the eye. "The marriage license is real?" she asked him. The smile he gave her was a small one, but he nodded. "How-?"

"I won't go into all the details, Scribbs," Sullivan said. "I knew going into this that it was going to be a lot trickier than any undercover operation we've ever done, because Ash on instinct would have seen right through it faster than anyone. Someone owed me a few favors, and I called them in. I wasn't sure if it'd even get here in time, and when it did, I switched them." The way Sullivan said it, he made it all seem so simple, but Scribbs remembered how frantic his movements had been that morning.

"When?"

"When I helped Ash move out of your flat," the broad man replied, looking down at his hands on the desk.

Scribbs leaned back in her chair and said, "Well, that's ironic."

"Another Alanis Morisette lyric?" Sullivan asked. There was a small smirk on his face, but it disappeared almost as soon as it appeared there.

"That too."

When Scribbs didn't elaborate, Sullivan asked, "What's ironic?"

"You switching the fake document with the real one while Ash was moving out. I got officially, legally married to Ash on the day our so called 'fake' marriage ended."

"Huh," Sullivan said thoughtfully, "I never thought of it that way."

Scribbs looked out Sullivan's window for a moment as her next words formed in her head. "Sullivan, I... Look, the real reason I needed to talk to you was because I'd like to request a transfer."

The transformation in Sullivan was amazing for Scribbs to watch. He sat up straighter in his seat, touched his tie although he didn't adjust it in anyway, and his gaze seemed to burn into Scribbs'. "I cannot grant that request, Scribbs. My answer is no." From his posture and voice, Scribbs wondered if her boss had been waiting for this request to come, if not from her, then from Ash. This thought made Scribbs wonder if Ash had already come to him with the same request, and he'd denied her, too.

"But my reasons are-"

"I'm well aware of your reasons, and that is why my answer is still no."

Hot tears prickled at the blonde's eyes, and Scribbs tried to hold them back. "What do you hope to accomplish by keeping us together like this?"

"That's obvious," the broad man replied, "I'm hoping that you two will work it out. I see how miserable you both are, and how happy you were together."

"I've been hoping the same thing for the last two weeks."

"We both know how Ash is," Sullivan tried again. "She's been angry with you many times in the past, and you're friendship never took a hit from it."

"Sure, when I spilled wine on her sofa or botched an undercover operation, or when I broke one of her rules, but this is different. This was her heart, and we can't go back to the way we were after all that's happened." Scribbs' jaw tightened for a moment as she felt a rush of animosity towards Sullivan. "You wouldn't be saying these things if you weren't a third party in all of this. 'Pretend to be her wife, Scribbs.' I wouldn't 'ave done it, had you not bullied me into it!"

At this, Sullivan looked away; his jaw worked as he thought about what Scribbs said. It was true that he had his hand in Scribbs' involvement, but he really did think that it was the best action to take then, and he still stood by that. Still, he knew he should have been more sensative, knowing that Scribbs had a difficult decision to make that would have hurt Ash either way. "I didn't think it would was going to end up this way," he finally said softly.

"You didn't think that Ash would hate me after she found out that I'd been lying to her? I could've told you that from the very beginning- Oh wait, I did!"

"I didn't think that you'd start to feel the same for her," Sullivan clarified. Scribbs was taken aback by the softness of his voice, the guilt and remorse she heard in it. It was enough to calm her down some.

"You had to have known that niether one of us would come out of this unscathed. Ash now wants to move on," Scribbs said after a while, "I can tell. She wishes she wasn't in love with me anymore, and as much as I love and need to be near her, I don't want my presence to keep her from being happy again."

Sullivan took a deep breath and let it out. "Alright, Scribbs. All I ask is that you give it a little more time- just a little more time," he said, slightly pleading, "and if things get worse or remain as bad as you say, then I'll allow your transfer."

Scribbs wasn't sure if she felt better or worse for this, but she was grateful for the chance to at least make Ash happy with her absense. She stood up slowly and said, "Thank you, sir," and started for the door.

"Scribbs," Sullivan called as the blonde's hand rested on the doorhandle. "I must say that I don't want either of you to go. You're my best team."

Scribbs thought about this for a second before she said, "Not anymore."


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

*Just a quick note that this chapter spoils the movie Imagine Me and You more than chapter 15 did. I am sorry that I didn't warn you then, but here it is now.*

That night as she watched Upy swim around in his tank, Scribbs let her mind go through everything that happened since and before Ash's fall. She knew that she couldn't go back, that each and every 'what if' scenario was of no use to her now and that it was too late now. She felt a slight darkness fall around her as she gave in to her loneliness. The chain around her neck, which she still couldn't bring herself to remove, felt as if it was getting heavier. Scribbs couldn't get rid of the feeling that there was still something left unsaid, and as long as she thought of it, she just couldn't figure out what, which frustrated her. The thought of Ash with Danielle that day filled her mind, along with a dubbed soundtrack where Ash accepted a dinner invitation.

Before her thoughts reeled too far out of control, a knock on the door startled her out of them. Scribbs was almost grateful for the interruption before she realized that she'd rather just be left alone. She figured that it was Sullivan at the door, and as much as she appreciated all that her boss had done, she wasn't ready to have another heart to heart conversation with him. Slowly Scribbs stood up anyway, stretched, and made her way towards the door.

The detective was surprised when she saw that it wasn't Sullivan but Lucy standing before her with a small bunch of orchids. "Lucy," Scribbs said without attempting to hide her surprise. The couple, as far as Scribbs knew, had never been told about the split, and she'd hoped that Ash would have been the one to tell them since she had a better bond with H than she did. This replaced the look of surprise on the detective's face with guilt.

"I know it is pretty late in the evening," Lucy started off apologetically, "but I wanted to check in. You know, see how things are." There was a hesitation halfway through her words at the look on Scribbs' face.

"Come in, please," the blonde said. She stepped aside so that the redhead could pass. "Can I get you anything to drink?" Scribbs asked as Lucy stepped past her.

"Just water for these," Lucy replied. As Scribbs continued to move about in the kitchen, Lucy took a look around the flat. It not only looked so much different with the unopened boxes in the hallway and the new couch carelessly slanted in the middle of the living room, but Lucy could feel that it wasn't really a home like it had been a couple of weeks prior. "To be honest, we were worried. All of us. H rang here to invite you and Ash over again, but there was no reply, and you don't visit the shop, so..."

"H called?" Scribbs asked. She walked over to the phone and picked it up. A small piece of plastic fell off of it and the blonde looked back at Lucy. "I broke it," she explained, "and I guess I don't get incoming calls anymore." She thought for a second and then said, "I thought I'd given Rachel my mobile number."

"She said she misplaced it," Lucy said with a small shrug. She kept her hands busy by putting the orchids in water and then arranging them. Both she and Scribbs wondered if that flower arrangement was the only thing that made the flat a home, other than poor Upy practically in a corner. After a small silence, Lucy asked, "What happened?"

Scribbs shrugged and said simply, "She remembered." Though Lucy saw that her friend was trying to be neutral in the way she said it, Scribbs' face scrunched up in pain.

"Oh," Lucy said, her voice barely even there. She sat down at the dining room table and waited. After another moment, Scribbs joined her. "So?" the redhead prompted.

Scribbs hunched forward, her eyes on the table as she began to speak, starting from the day Ash fell to that afternoon when she tried to transfer out of Middleford. She kept out the details, of course, but she tried to stay as clear and as neutral as possible. She didn't break down like she had at Chelsea's, but she did shed some tears after a while. "Now we're barely speaking, and we're nowhere near the partnership we had before this. I don't know what to do anymore. I told her how I feel, and I told her that I'd fallen in love with her... and still she rejects me," Scribbs concluded. Lucy wasn't sure what she could say to all of this, so she remained silent. "She's been so bloody stubborn that I'll have to buy her lilies."

This got Lucy's attention. "Excuse me?" A fine eyebrow arched. She wasn't sure she heard her correctly.

"Sorry." Scribbs said, shaking her head. She'd forgotten that she'd never mentioned the dream to Lucy. "You'll think I'm weird, but the night Ash woke up in the hospital, I had a dream that I was in your shop. You leaned towards me - like this -" the blonde said, resting her arms on the table, her hands overlapping as she dipped her head down, "and said to me: 'Give her the lilies and dare her to love you. I did.'" Scribbs' eyes went back to the table as she said, "Everything else seemed pretty normal, but I felt weird when I woke up, like it was real or something." Scribbs looked up at Lucy to see what her friend's reaction was.

"Well," was all Lucy said.

"See, I told you you'd think I was weird," Scribbs said with a small smile.

"Not that, its just strange. That is what lilies really mean."

"I didn't know that," Scribbs said. Lucy had thought as much. "Well, I realize that it might be what I'll have to do. The only way Ash will come back to me now is if I made it some sort of challenge. I've never known for her to back down from one."

"Then..." Lucy leaned forward and, looking exactly as she had in Scribbs' dream, said, "Give her the lilies and dare her to love you." Scribbs let out a weak laugh at this. It was the first time she laughed since Ash left. Lucy's smile turned into a sympatric one. "I think your boss was right."

"Yeah?" Scribbs asked.

"I really do." the redhead patted Scribbs' shoulder and continued, "I see parallels between you, Ash, me an' Rach. Where Ash and I knew right away how we felt and why, it took you and Rachel a little bit of time, and by the time you did, it may have been too late." Lucy started to tell Scribbs about how she met Rachel, how there was 'something' there when Rachel looked her way that first time.

"While she was walking down the isle of her own wedding?" Scribbs asked incredulously.

"Love's grand, isn't it? Illogical."

"Among other things," Scribbs agreed, unable to keep out the bitterness in her tone. Lucy chuckled and then continued to tell Scribbs about the attraction that grew between them and how Lucy refused to be the other woman as she tried to leave, only to have Rachel give chase. When Lucy got to the part about kissing in the middle of traffic in front of Rachel's parents, Scribbs' smile became serene. "Now that sounds like the plot to a lesbian romance comedy if I ever heard one."

Lucy laughed a little louder at this. "That is what Edie, my best friend back in London said. But even after that amazing kiss with the swirling camera angles, we still had a lot of rough moments. I still had my doubts, and Rachel had to fight me every step of the way to keep telling me. I'm not saying we still don't have those types of problems, but knowing that even with my insecurity and doubt she still stuck by me because she really does love me. I think Ash needs that, too."

"It hurts every time she walks away from me after I've told her that I love her."

"I know," Lucy said, "but if in time, she finally understands that you're not going anywhere and accepts your love, it'll be worth it. You know I'm right on that."

"Yes," Scribbs admitted.

"You've made some great gestures with the marriage license and telling her how you feel, but keep on. Stop by the shop tomorrow morning, and I'll have your lilies. I'll see if I can help you find the best way to word the romantic challenge and we'll see from there." Lucy stood up then, and Scribbs did as well.

"Thank you," Scribbs said as the two women went to the door. "For, you know, checking in."

"What are friends for?" Lucy hugged Scribbs, patting her back as they both took in a deep breath. "Don't give up, and don't let her convince you that this isn't real."

When they parted, Scribbs smiled, and then she jumped into action again. "Here," she said, writing down her mobile number on a piece of scrap paper. "Tell H to give me a ring tomorrow. I promise I'll answer."

"She'll like knowing that. Goodnight."

"Goodnight. Thanks again. I'll see you tomorrow morning." Lucy nodded, waved and started towards the stairs. When Scribbs didn't see her anymore, she closed the door and went back to the table feeling lighter than she could remember being since the marriage ended.

In her own flat, Ash sat on her couch with a glass of untouched wine resting on her knee. Her mind replayed the day. It wasn't hard to spot the change in Scribbs after she'd left Sullivan's office. She didn't mention Danielle's presence, nor did she sneak in 'I love you' in her conversations with Ash, in fact, her side of the conversation was often monosyllabic. When they'd gone to a crime scene, Scribbs had gone right to work collecting evidence and talking to a witness while Ash had spoken to the constable. It was almost as if Scribbs was trying to keep herself out of Ash's sight.

Ash was annoyed when she found herself missing Scribbs and hurt. She had noticed that the wedding band had been taken off between her arrival and whatever talk she'd had with Sullivan. Yes, she wanted to move on from everything, but she wanted her best friend back. Ash knew that Scribbs had realized that as well. They both must have known that Ash couldn't have both. Ash's head moved when her mobile phone went off. She put the wine glass down and went to where it sat recharging. After seeing the number she brought it to her hear. "Hello?"

"Katie, this is your mother," June Ashurst announced, as if the brunette didn't already know.

"Hi Mum," Ash said.

"I tried the number David gave me a couple of days ago, but I got no answer. I left a message, but no one rang me back. How are things with you and Emma?"

Ash's mouth twisted for a second before she got out, "We're divorced."

"Kate?"

"I remember, Mum. Everything."

"You've gone back to being friends then?"

"No," Ash replied. She didn't see how they could. "We aren't really speaking, unless it's about work."

"Pity. You were so great together." At this, Ash looked at the wall.

"Mum?" she asked, her tone asking instead, 'What?!' There was a sigh in her ear.

"Look, I don't know id I'll ever truly understand some of the choices you've made. Your father and I provided you with the best education and still you become a policewoman. And the gay thing, well..." There was a slight pause. "I don't understand, but it makes you happy. I wish I'd been more supportive before. Maybe then you would've felt more comfortable talking to me about it. I hate feeling as though you can't talk to me Kate."

"I'm sorry."

"No Kate. I'm sorry."

"Not even Scribbs ever suspected," Ash said.

"I think she really loves you," June said suddenly.

"No Mum," Ash said in a slight groan. Her heart ached when the words had reached her.

"I'm serious, Kate. I saw her in the hospital with you. She'd been there everyday you weren't conscious. I saw how she was right before you woke up. I also saw how you were when you woke up. I think in her own way, without really knowing it, she loved you even then. How ha she been since your so called divorce?"

Ash didn't know is she should tell her mother what had been going on. She started to tell her some of the things that Scribbs had done, including the fact that Sullivan obtained a real marriage document to fool her. "So you are married?" June Ashurst wondered, clearly a bit confused.

"Technically..." Ash replied after a moment.

"And Emma showed you this?"

"Yes, but-"

"And she said that she loved you?"

"Yes, but Mum-" Ash tried again, but she was interrupted yet again. It was clear that whatever interrogation techniques Ash had were learned from her mother.

"So what is holding you back? Sure she lied for a month, but she was protecting you. Emma loves you." At this, Ash sighed this time. "It's what you want, what Emma wants, so quit being stubborn. I say, whatever tests you're putting her through, she passed."

After a second of pause, Ash asked, "Are you finished?"

"For the moment, yes." June's voice was identical to Ash's after winning a bet with Scribbs, the smugness was evident there. "Be happy Sweetheart," she added when Ash didn't reply right away.

Ash wasn't sure if she could now. She'd pushed Scribbs away for over two weeks now, and if that day told her anything, it was that her partner had given up. Ash supposed she couldn't blame her. The Ashurst women made more idle chit chat for a couple more minutes before Ash finally hung up. Putting the phone back with it's charger, Ash thought about the conversation with her mother.

"Oh, bloody hell," she said, rolling her eyes at nobody.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Lucy hadn't left for more than twenty minutes ago when there was another knock on the door. Lost in her thoughts, Scribbs wasn't sure at first that she'd heard it. She'd been too caught up in the daydream where she got Ash the lilies, told her what the lilies meant, and then asked her on a date, which in her daydream was accepted. (There might have been something in her head about kicking a Japanese style animated Danielle across three countries, too.) She hadn't moved from the table since the florist had left. As the knock came again, Scribbs was certain that Lucy had forgotten something, but looking around, Scribbs didn't see anything that wasn't hers. Thinking that maybe there was something else she'd wanted to say, Scribbs opened the door, ready with a joke, which left her mind as soon as she saw Ash there instead.

Ash, too, was at a loss for words when Scribbs opened the door. She's prepared numerous speeches in her head on the way over, all of them starting with 'I'm sorry' and ending somehow with 'I love you', but as soon as Scribbs opened the door with a smile on her face only to fade once she saw Ash, made anything the brunette wanted to say flee her. She held up the container in her hand, glad she thought to stop at the pet shop, therefore giving her a valid excuse to be there. "I thought you'd be low. I wasn't sure if you knew what brand to buy."

Scribbs knew this wasn't why Ash had come by. Something like that could have easily been said at work. Everything else that could be said against their marriage had already been said. Scribbs stepped aside again to allow Ash entrance. She was curious as to why the brunette was there, and she tried to keep herself from getting hopeful again. The last time she'd allowed herself to hope, Ash had shot her down. As the brunette walked past her into the flat, Scribbs wished she'd cleaned up at least a little bit. She didn't want to know what Ash must think. She watched as Ash walked towards Upy's tank. She tapped lightly on the glass with her fingernail, and then opened the container.

As Ash fed the blue fish, Scribbs waited, wondering if she should say something. What if Ash's courage was only enough to get her there? What if it was up to Scribbs to get the conversation started? But... What could she say now that she hadn't before? Scribbs took in a deep breath and thought on Lucy's words as well as her own to get Ash back starting the next day. Why wait until tomorrow when Ash was there now? She came to Scribbs' flat for a reason, ad the only reason that Scribbs could think of was because she missed her. And Upy, of course. That was a start. If Scribbs didn't act now, Ash might have changed her mind, and she would have rejected her again.

Scribbs took in a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, and when she finally allowed herself to breathe again, quick words flowed out. "You fancy going out for dinner sometime?" Scribbs watched as Ash's back stiffened as her arm paused. From where the blonde stood, she could see that the container of fish food almost dropped. Slowly, Ash turned to look at Scribbs, placing the container down as she did this.

"What?"

"Would you like to-"

"I know what you said," Ash interrupted.

"Oh." Scribbs stared at Ash for another moment before her gaze fell to the floor. It took almost a full minute before she found the courage to say her next set of words. "It's just... I guess we didn't know each other as well as we always thought we did. Whatever I thought I knew about you... and I guess my self... Well, I was wrong. A-And whatever you thought you knew about me kept you in hiding. I thought maybe we could go out, talk... go slow- like we were supposed to." Scribbs' hands both clenched at her sides and released, and in that instant, Ash noticed again the lack of wedding band there. "If after a while, you want to try again- this marriage thing, then I'm forever yours. I just- I don't want to live without you, Kate." Scribbs looked upwards, blinking rapidly as she fought back tears, yet still one escaped.

Ash again was struck speechless. How was it that Scribbs could always do this to her? Why was it always Scribbs who was so bold as to say what was on her mind or what she wanted, when Ash was the one who'd come by wanting to- Well, Ash wasn't exactly sure what she wanted to say or do. Even as she bought the fish food, she was still at a loss for what to say, and had hoped it would have just come to her. All she knew was that she'd spent six years trying to get over Scribbs and that there was no way she'd succeed in doing so now. Finally, Ash forced herself to speak, afraid that the blonde would get scared and try to take it all back. "Whatever it is you're offering, Scribbs, I-"

"I'm offering anything you could ever possibly want of me," Scribbs said. She seemed to flinch a little, as if waiting for the rejection to strike her, and it was then that Ash saw it. Truly saw it. All of the pain and love that Scribbs obviously felt in the wake of everything that had happened. Ash had seen the blonde cry before, but never, ever like this. The slight desperation that was in Scribbs' voice finally cut through to her, and Ash did realize how stubborn she had been, how much she had been hurting Scribbs withy her rejection all this time.

Ash couldn't stop herself from moving towards her partner even if she wanted to. She gathered Scribbs into her arms, her left hand on the blonde's neck as she guided her to her shoulder. Her right hand rested on the small of Scribbs' back as the blonde stepped closer. It took a moment for Scribbs to move her arms so that they wrapped around the brunette's middle, locking at the wrists. The blonde's shoulders slumped slightly, and then began to shake, even though Ash didn't hear any sniffling. Scribbs' sobs were silent.

As Ash rubbed small circles on Scribbs' back and once or twice ran her left hand down the blonde hair until it rested again on Scribbs' neck, she thought about the words spoken between them over the last few minutes. She wondered why she denied herself the ability to hold this woman. Ash finally felt right. As a single tear fell down her own cheek, Ash finally asked the one question that had been on her mind since Scribbs stopped speaking. "Is that a proposal?"

At this, Scribbs loosened her hold on Ash, but her hands moved to the brunette's hips. She lifted her head slowly until the two women looked each other in the eyes. "Only if you're saying yes," Scribbs finally said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Just... come home."

Ash notice that Scribbs' eyes really stood out when her eyes glittered with tears. Ash brought her hand to the warm cheek, and used her thumb to catch another tear as if tell. The brunette then leaned in and kissed Scribbs, moving the blonde hair back before doing so. "I'm so sorry, Darling," she whispered when the kiss ended. She leaned in again, their foreheads touching. She kissed Scribbs again. "I love you. Yes."


	30. Epilogue

Epilogue

Some time later

Scribbs' eyes met Ash's from across the aisle. She stared at the brunette and tried to keep her breath steady. Over the years, Scribbs had seen Ash dressed up for many occasions, but there was a glow surrounding her today that was unlike any other. In Scribbs' eyes, this made Ash the most beautiful woman in the entire universe, and she was so happy that she didn't end up losing her. Ash smiled back at her, the love seen clearly in her eyes as the two women communicated with each other. The 'I love you's and promises of forever were plan to see.

Both women looked up, however, when they heard the wedding march begin to play, and they directed their gaze to their friend, who stood tall with her own look of deep devotion on her face. Rachel stood in a white feminine tuxedo and a black tie. With her hair done up in the same way Ash often had hers, Rachel made a fetching 'groom' while keeping all of her femininity. Though she seemed collected, there were small signs of her nervousness, signs that Ash and Scribbs both picked up due to their occupation. To anyone else, Rachel seemed steady as she waited for her bride.

Ash and Scribbs spotted H as she made her way down the aisle, her hair cut short like Scribbs', which continued to prove that she could pass as the DS' daughter. Scribbs could only imagine the reaction the girl's parents had to it. H's ears were now pierced, and her stud earrings showed with her hair tucked behind her ears. She too wore a small white tux, looking a lot like her older sister. H held the hand of Cooper's three year old daughter Guinevere, also in a white dress that allowed her to twirl, as they made their way towards the rest of the wedding party, the little girl carelessly throwing the contents of the basket everywhere. There were murmurs as people admired the duo which grew to chuckles when Guinevere saw her father and ran towards him, forgetting the flower pedals completely as she ran to him with a giggle and a squealed, "DADDY!" Cooper scooped her up and murmured in her ear to get her to quiet down. H continued to carry the basket the rest of the way. She set it on the outside of the aisle before taking her spot next to Rachel. H looked at her sister and got an encouraging smile in return.

Then everyone looked expectantly towards the church entrance as they waited for the bride. Slowly, Lucy came into view, holding on to Rachel's father tightly. She wore a long, more traditional dress that had belonged to her mother. Part of her had always wondered if it was wise for her to wear it when her father had in the end left them, but her mother insisted that the marriage was beautiful right up until that point, that it wasn't the dress that made the marriage. Her mother said that it wasn't anyone's fault that Lucy's father had fallen in love with someone else. The dress had a few more ruffles than Lucy would have liked, and she wished the sleeves had covered up the tattoo on her right arm, but she wanted to appease her mother. Lucy's hair flowed down her back like a fall of lava. Clipped in her hair was the veil over her face. She walked slowly, mostly to keep herself from falling flat on her face. Though she felt awkward in the dress, it was clear that she looked beautiful in it. In the end, everything went beautifully, from Rachel's father linking Lucy and Rachel's hands with a murmur to his daughter that made went unheard to even Lucy, to the vows that had been said and the eventual, you may kiss your bride.

A little over two hours later, Ash found herself with H on the dance floor, moving her feet in the square formation of the invisible gamepad for Dance Dance Revolution, as the song being played was one of the tracks from the game. The two of them moved pretty much in sync, with a small circle of spectator around them to watch. If Ash felt at all out of sorts dancing this way with the 13 year old, she didn't show it. When the song ended and a new, familiar song began, Ash felt a hand on her waist, which then moved down to rest on her hip.

"Excuse me, H," Scribbs said, smiling at the girl. "I'd like to steal my wife back." H nodded with the slightest of bows.

'I was her, she was me...'

As the lyrics started up, H moved towards the refreshment table, but her hand had been grabbed by Heck. With a slight tug, she came twirling into him with a giggle. "You can dance with me, then," he said.

"What about Sandra?" H asked with a laugh.

Heck snorted. "You're my best dancing partner, and you owe me a dance for all the Whose Line I sent you in the post. Hop on." He motioned to his feet, and H carefully stepped onto them. This was a lot different than the last time they attempted this. With that, Heck whisked H away in a large and exaggerated waltz, causing people to sidestep in order to remain out of the way. H's giggles could be heard as Heck hummed badly along with the music and continued to spin them around the floor.

Slowly, other couples came together to dance, and Ash gave Scribbs a 'Look'. "You requested this song, didn't you?"

"Scribbs laughed and said, "Guilt. Care to dance, Mrs. Scribbins-Ashurst?

"Of course," Ash replied with a smile.

By that point, Heck and H had made one lap around the dance floor, H and Rachel's mother doing her best to rein them in with no results. Her husband just brought her into him, and her attention went to him after another moment of fussing. Heck then waltzed around Rachel and Lucy as they danced together in the midst of the crowd, which was a difficult maneuver for him. Rachel swatted him playfully before Heck's hands were placed on H's shoulders while he stayed turning in one spot. He looked very much like a penguin now as he danced in place with H on his shoes.

"Well, it could be worse," Scribbs said, bringing Ash's attention back to her. The two women closed the distance between them.

"How?" Ash wondered, though she wasn't sure she really wanted to know the answer to that, especially right when they were about to dance to 'their' song.

"I could've requested 'We Could Be Heroes'." Ash groaned at this, causing the blonde to laugh. They shared a quick kiss before Ash's cheek touched Scribbs'.

_ And if there's somebody calling me on..._

_ She's the one_

Note: Because I really wanted to leave a lot of little surprises for you, the readers, I found it hard to do that as we as end it on a cute and funny note. I'm both happy and sad that the story is done, but I definitely wouldn't have enjoyed the journey nearly as much without my beta readers Deb and Vanessa, and most importantly, if I didn't have such awesome readers leaving messages of encouragement and support. Thank you very much for staying through the ride. If you're still looking for a place to read Fallen in one place, go to .net/~magicmumu


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